Читать книгу A Texas Ta-Ta's Take on Internet Dating - Penny MD Mahon - Страница 6

Next, I met an accountant who seemed to be a little closer to my own age. Again, we had the customary emails and telephone calls, and in spite of my last experience, I decided to try it again. We agreed to meet on a Sunday afternoon for a drink. (NTR: I was getting a little worried here, because she was moving extremely fast and furious for a first dating weekend, having had two dates in less than twenty-four hours. I guess, once you’re out there, you’re out there. Maybe it’s like waiving a red flag in front of a bull!...L).

He arrived wearing a tropical shirt, khaki shorts, hair in tact and was reasonably good-looking. He was tall and fit, with sparkling blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. Mama said you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and I don’t want to seem shallow, but personally, I like a man with a fine head of hair. Upon opening remarks, he appeared to be funny and charming. He told me that he enjoyed “people watching,” which is also one of my favorite past times. Little did I realize, his definition of “people-watching” and mine were very different.

We were seated on the patio and things began to go very well. We seemed to be on the same page, conversation was flowing and he asked me if I’d like to have something to eat. Just so you know, girls, a typical first meeting usually starts with coffee or a drink. If the meeting extends into an invitation to either lunch or dinner, then it’s pretty safe to assume that something about you is tickling his fancy. I interpreted that as a good sign, and we ordered nachos and Margaritas. At about the same time we placed our order, two casually dressed women were seated at the table adjacent to us.

Our conversation continued, but I realized that he wasn’t really into it. He began to glance more and more at one of the women at the next table. This continued all through the meal and finally, he literally turned his chair to face her instead of me. What had started as an occasional glance turned into a full-fledged Oglefest! Soon, I became aware that I was the one getting the occasional glances. Now ladies, I’m not Angelina Jolie, Katherine Zeta Jones or even Raquel Welch, but I’m not chopped liver either! On a good day, I could pass for Lorrie Morgan’s older sister. And for those of you who don’t know who Lorrie Morgan is, she’s a cute, blonde country western singer who is best known for having dating Troy Aikman, our very own famous Dallas Cowboy quarterback. This gal didn’t have anything on me, except the hair. What is it with men and long hair? That hair could be so dry, it would break faster than my Aunt Audrey’s peanut brittle passed around on Bingo night. And the style could be so lank and stringy, that it looks just like the rejected mop in the “Swifter” commercial. But, if it touches those shoulders or below, then look out, it’s competition! (NTR...The hairdresser must speak out. I have an answer to why men like long hair on women, because it gets in their face! Real women don’t give a rat’s ass...L) I decided then and there to wrap up this date and cut my losses.

As we walked outside, we began to exchange that awkward after date conversation and Mr. Looky Loo replied, “I think this went pretty well, don’t you?” Well, I should have just kept my mouth shut, but as I said before, that’s not me. I looked him dead in the eye (which was one of the few times he was looking at me) and told him that actually, I didn’t think we were quite suited for one another. I was trying to be nice, but he pushed me for more information. Finally, I just let it rip. I said “Maybe you should just go back into the restaurant and ask your other date for her number, since you spent more time looking at her than at me!”

Surprise, surprise, could this guy have been anything other than an accountant? I’ll bet he was really good at his job, because he certainly had figures on the brain! Everywhere he looked, he saw figures and I’m not talking about numbers.

By the time I had gotten home, and was reliving the date with Lisa (NTR...Had I been on this date, I would have left after the first 5-6 glances, but knowing Penny, she’s not going to let a good margarita go to waste...L), this guy actually called me and said, “Even if I was looking at her, you should have had the good social graces not to say anything about it.” I’m not sure which school he attended to learn his social graces, but at the school of “My Mama,” I learned, you don’t put up with that crap! Can you believe the nerve of some people? Did I forget to mention that he had been single for twenty years, and what do you suppose was the reason for that? I guess we could say, Mr. Looky Loo is “still looking.” Sparkling blue eyes, my ass, I’ll betcha they’re contacts!