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Cutting Ties To Parents and Other Techniques

The first step before cutting the ties to parents is to prevent intrusion, control or coercion from any outer sources by delineating and protecting one’s inner space or territory. This is accomplished by using the Figure Eight (described in Cutting the Ties that Bind). A person is directed to visualise, think of, or imagine on the ground all around them a golden circle with a radius the length of their arm with the fingers extended. This circle sets the limits of the holy ground or temenos, as the Greeks named it, space or territory, to use current terms. If the person is more than usually vulnerable, this circle can be imagined extending upward to form a cylinder all around him as high as feels comfortable and protective. Another golden circle about the same size, and containing one of the parents, is imagined on the ground immediately in front of them, the two circles just touching without overlapping. It will be easily seen that the Figure Eight has been formed. However, the two circles alone do not prevent intrusion or projection by either person into the other’s territory. To free both from invasion or control by the other, a neon blue light is visualised, imagined or actually drawn on paper, starting at the point where the two circles touch. It flows first around the parent’s circle in a clockwise direction, and back to where they touch. It continues around the person’s left side, around their back to the right side, and back again to where they touch. It then flows around the Figure Eight continuously. The neon blue light has the effect of drawing each person’s projections into their own circle, rather like disentangling the tentacles of two octopuses entwined in each other’s grasp.

This visualisation needs to be practised daily for two minutes upon awakening, again just before going to sleep and at intervals during the day, for two weeks. The actual exercise for severing the tight constricting ties between the two people can then be undertaken. Briefly, it involves visualising or feeling one or more bonds connecting the person and his parents, and mentally removing and destroying them in whatever way is indicated by the High C. The next step involves a ritual in which the person thanks the parent for all the learning gained from the relationship, asks the parent for forgiveness for any wrongs perpetrated against him or her and requests the High C to forgive them for any wrongs against themselves for which the parent has been responsible. The parent is then asked to leave the inner space, which allows more direct contact with the High C, the only true authority. A ritual bath to remove all overlay of the parent’s attitudes completes the ritual.

Separate rituals should be undertaken for each parent and any other individuals responsible for early conditioning or programming. This method successfully frees a person from the overlay of old patterns learned from the parents during childhood which do not necessarily allow expression of the real personality.

After the cutting ritual, it is helpful to compile two lists, one for each parent, setting forth the positive and negative attributes of each. These help to determine where one has copied and where one has rebelled against the model of conduct they have presented to them. Unless these qualities are clearly seen, it is difficult for a person to decide where any correction of habits, attitudes or other learned characteristics is needed in their own behaviour. Only when they have freed themselves in this way are prospective parents able to rear their own children more effectively by helping them to reveal their true personalities instead of projecting on to them their own hopes, ideals, expectations, preferences and other inherited patterns as so many parents usually do.

Unlike animals, human beings have free will and have the right to decide for themselves whether to follow a slow evolutionary path or to work to eradicate their faults and weaknesses. They can then detach themselves from past mistakes and be free to start living more positively in the present under the guidance of the High C.

Many other exercises outlined in the previous book would greatly aid prospective parents in preparing for their own children. I will merely refer to each of them here and suggest that the reader study these steps, described in the first book.

The Tree

The Tree technique, whereby prospective parents make contact with their own version of the inner Cosmic Parents, which together form the High C, is most helpful. So many people have had unhappy relationships with one or both parents and find the discovery of their own inner ones a tremendous comfort and support. Many people have never received love in a form they can accept and have not been taught either how to give love or how to receive it, simply because the parents themselves were not given loving role models by their parents. When they make contact with these loving inner parents they find they can receive from them the love that they had always longed for. They can then allow it to flow through them to other people.

Negative Emotions

The various techniques for detaching oneself from negative emotions such as fear, anger, guilt, jealousy and envy, to name just a few, are an excellent preparation for assuming the responsibility of rearing children, who frequently stir up all manner of unpleasant reactions in parents unless they have released these feelings beforehand. Often parents will vent their anger on their children over some trifling incident. Their child often has no idea how they have evoked such an exaggerated outburst.

The Inner House

Working with the Inner House and setting it in order is another very helpful undertaking, since the house is a symbol of the entire self with the various rooms representing all its parts. The actual house in which they live can also be cleaned and put in order at the same time, which greatly emphasises the message to the subconscious.

The Inner Child

Identifying the Inner Child, attending to its needs and giving it love and attention to help that part of the personality to grow to the same age as the rest of the personality is extremely important. Otherwise, there is apt to be a conflict between the Inner Child of each parent and the outer physical child they bring into their lives.

The Black Cloud

If a Black Cloud is suspected as a negative influence on either of the parents’ families, it should by all means be dissipated before a child is born into a family. These negative inherited memories can be triggered at any time if one of the members of a family faces a situation that is reminiscent of old family traumas.

The above techniques or exercises are recommended as indispensable for prospective parents. However, it would of course be very helpful if they would both go through the rest of the exercises described in Cutting the Ties that Bind to remove anything else that could cause problems while their children are growing up.

We all feel more secure when we have clear guidelines to direct us in our daily lives. That is one reason why some old customs continue to be followed despite the fact that many of them have either degenerated into senseless rules or are no longer relevant to life at the present time.

Children tend to learn more easily and quickly by example than by words. If parents live according to high moral standards, their children are more likely to follow their lead.

If, on the other hand, the parents teach one thing but do another, children are quick to detect the inconsistency and become confused.

During my childhood in England, I was quoted as repeatedly having said to my mother from a very early age, ‘You tell me not to lie, but you do it all the time. That’s not fair.’ This reaction is typical of young children before they have become too inhibited to express themselves freely. It is very easy to teach others but that is not enough. Children need to be shown by the example of elders and teachers the type of behaviour and practices which match their teachings. Not all teachers have high standards, so discrimination is needed to distinguish between those who only teach the truth and those who also practise it.