Читать книгу Introduction to Abnormal Child and Adolescent Psychology - Robert Weis - Страница 103

Harry Stack Sullivan (1953) was an influential psychiatrist who developed one of the first comprehensive theories regarding the importance of friendships to social–emotional development. He believed that close, trusting friendships were vital to people’s sense of self and their overall well-being. In contrast, Sullivan believed that loneliness is the most painful human experience possible.

Sullivan thought that intimacy is the hallmark of satisfying interpersonal relationships. According to Sullivan, intimate relationships are characterized by closeness and vulnerability between two people who value each other and regard each other as equals. Intimate relationships foster love and ward off feelings of anxiety, isolation, and loneliness. Sullivan identified several stages of interpersonal development, from infancy through adulthood, characterized by a greater capacity for intimacy in relationships (Image 2.9).

Young children’s relationships (2–6 years) tend to be low in intimacy. Relationships are either between two people of unequal standing (e.g., parent and child) or two equals who do not have emotional closeness (e.g., two preschoolers playing with the same toys). Children’s main task is to learn to delay gratification in order to maintain relationships over time. Children must learn to take turns, to share belongings, and to follow rules so that everyone can enjoy play. Some children will develop imaginary friends with whom they will “practice” these skills.

Slightly older children (6–9 years) begin to establish relationships with peers. Sullivan saw these friendships as critical for all later relationships. In the classroom and on the playground, school-age children decide which peers they like and dislike. By accepting another child into one’s play group, the child is saying, “I like and value you.” Acceptance establishes a sense of self-worth in children.

Sullivan described preadolescence (9–12 years) as a “quiet miracle” in which children begin to develop close relationships with one or more “best” friends. These friends act as a source of security and support in times of trouble. Sullivan believed these relationships can begin to foster love, a feeling that occurs when another person’s happiness and security becomes as important as the happiness and security of oneself. Sullivan believed that loving relationships allowed preadolescents to share their feelings without fear of rejection or humiliation and to take risks in exploring their identities and values.

Adolescence (≥13 years) begins with puberty and ends with the establishment of loving and mutually supportive relationships with others. Sullivan saw early adolescence as a time of insecurity and self-doubt that can be managed through the emotional support of peers. In time, however, adolescents use their increased capacity for intimacy to initiate deep friendships and romantic relationships. Part of this transition involves viewing partners not as objects designed to gratify their needs but as autonomous individuals with their own identities, values, and intrinsic worth.