Читать книгу Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Dummies - Rob Willson - Страница 25

Catastrophising is taking a relatively minor negative event and imagining all sorts of disasters resulting from that one small event, as we sum up in Figure 2-1.

Consider these examples of catastrophising:

 You’re at a party and you accidentally stumble headlong into the ice sculpture. After you slide your way across the floor and to the bathroom to clean up, you scurry home and conclude that everyone at the party witnessed your little trip and laughed at you.

 You’re waiting for your teenage daughter to return home after an evening at the cinema with friends. The clock strikes 10:00 p.m., and you hear no reassuring rattle of her key in the door. By 10:05 p.m., you start imagining her accepting a lift home from a friend who drives recklessly. At 10:10 p.m., you’re convinced she’s been involved in a head-on collision and paramedics are at the scene. By 10:15 p.m., you’re weeping over her grave.© John Wiley & Sons, Inc.FIGURE 2-1: Catastrophising.

 Your new partner declines an invitation to have dinner with your parents. Before giving him a chance to explain his reasons, you put down the phone and decide that this is his way of telling you the relationship’s over. Furthermore, you imagine that right now he’s ringing friends and telling them what a mistake it was dating you. You decide you’re never going to find another partner and will die old and lonely.

Catastrophising leads many an unfortunate soul to misinterpret a social faux pas as a social disaster, a late arrival as a car accident or a minor disagreement as total rejection.

Nip catastrophic thinking in the bud by recognising it for what it is – just thoughts. When you find yourself thinking of the worst possible scenario, try the following strategies:

 Put your thoughts in perspective. Even if everyone at the party did see your ice-scapade, are you sure no one was sympathetic? Surely you aren’t the only person in the world to have tripped in public. Chances are, people are far less interested in your embarrassing moment than you think. Falling over at a party isn’t great, but in the grand scheme of things it’s hardly society-page news.

 Consider less terrifying explanations. What other reasons are there for your daughter being late? Isn’t being late for curfew a common feature of adolescence? Perhaps the film ran over, or she got caught up chatting and forgot the time. Don’t get so absorbed in extreme emotions that you’re startled to find your daughter in the doorway apologising about missing the bus.

 Weigh up the evidence. Do you have enough information to conclude that your partner wants to leave you? Has he given you any reason to think this before? Look for evidence that contradicts your catastrophic assumption. For example, have you had more enjoyable times together than not? Isn’t dinner with the parents something a lot of partners may want to avoid due to nerves or some other reason?

 Focus on what you can do to cope with the situation, and the people or resources that can come to your aid. Engaging in a few more social encounters can help you put your party faux pas behind you. You can repair a damaged relationship – or find another. Even an injury following an accident can be fixed with medical care.

No matter how great a calamity you create in your mind, the world’s unlikely to end because of it – even if your catastrophic fear comes to pass. You’re probably far more capable of surviving embarrassing and painful events than you give yourself credit for – human beings can be very resilient. Often people say that they can’t imagine dealing with a tragedy like losing a loved one or perhaps developing a terminal illness, even when they know other people just like them who are dealing with their own tragedies. You don’t always need to be able to imagine coping with a negative event to be able to do so if the time comes. Sometimes you just need to have faith that your coping resources will be there if and when you need them.