Читать книгу All the Romance You Need This Christmas: 5-Book Festive Collection - Romy Sommer, Georgia Hill - Страница 25

Finnish Lapland was certainly a shock to the system, weather-wise. I’d used to think the north-east of England was cold but compared to the temperatures we were experiencing here they were verging on tropical.

The hotel we were staying in was beautiful, so warm and welcoming with its mix of both traditional and contemporary styles. From the wood-panelled lobby to my beautifully simple but extremely comfortable and cosy room; from the choice of restaurants and the karaoke bar to the ultra-modern spa right next door, it had certainly surprised me. I wasn’t exactly sure what I’d been expecting, having never been to this part of the world before, but I guess I hadn’t been expecting quite this. Mind you, I should have known Matt would never come to a place where there might have been a chance of boredom setting in. And from what little I’d seen of the resort so far, it seemed to have more than its fair share of things to keep everyone occupied.

Looking out of the window I couldn’t help but smile at the view, a view that was never going to fail to remind me of exactly where I was – a blanket of snow covered everything in sight, from the barrage of trees that led out into a forest of pines which stretched out as far as the eye could see in one direction, to the Tyrolean-style buildings that made up the small and compact resort in the other. It was beautiful, and as I watched a line of cross-country skiers in the distance propel themselves through the trees, their poles working in almost perfect unison as they glided across the snow, I couldn’t help but wish Jase was here with me. Cross-country skiing was one of the things he’d wanted to try. It was just one of the many activities we’d talked about, when we’d discussed our plans to visit Lapland. Plans that had been years in the making. And we’d been so close to taking our dream trip together. So close. But now he’d never experience all those things he’d so badly wanted to try.

Being the kind of person Jase was, though, I knew he would have been out there before breakfast, donning those skis, throwing himself into everything with that incredible enthusiasm he’d always had for trying new things. An enthusiasm I was finding hard to muster myself.

A knock at the door pulled me back from sinking into another pit of memories.

‘Sis! It’s Matt!’

‘Come in. Door’s open.’ I turned away from the window, folding my arms against me as Matt walked in, dressed in full skiing regalia of black salopettes, jacket and snow boots, a black hat pulled down over his long, dark hair. ‘What you up to today then?’ I asked, a smile playing at the corners of my mouth.

He pulled a face and shut the door behind him, checking himself out in the full-length mirror beside the wardrobe. ‘Me, Jake and Gary are hitting the slopes in a bit. You coming?’ he asked, pulling off his hat and running a hand through his hair.

I eyed the hired ski boots I’d been fitted for when we’d arrived yesterday. They were sitting on top of the pile of skiwear I’d yet to try out.

‘I know you haven’t done this before, Sis, but me and the guys are quite happy to show you the ropes if you don’t feel like joining the ski school.’

Matt was right, I didn’t feel much like joining the ski school. But then, I didn’t feel much like skiing, full stop. I guess you had to be in the mood, and I wasn’t. Not really. Not yet.

I looked at my brother with his dark, shoulder-length straggly hair and his unkempt beard, and I was desperate for those blue eyes of his to stop looking at me with that hint of pity. Was that how people were going to look at me forever? Yeah, it was definitely time to pull myself together and show them that I really was fine. Even if I didn’t totally feel it. Yet.

‘I think I’m just going to spend today getting to know the place,’ I smiled, walking over to Matt. ‘Y’know, have a wander round the town, watch you lot out there on the slopes, check out the shops.’

‘Not sure Primark’s hit Lapland yet, Jess.’

‘Yeah, you’re funny, Matthew.’

He pulled me into his arms for a hug, sighing. ‘If you’re sure, Sis. But I hate leaving you on your own.’

‘It’s my choice, Matt. Come on, stop looking at me like that, will you? I’ll be fine. I’m forty-two years old, I’m not some child who needs looking after – despite what Mum says. Okay?’

He smiled, giving me one last hug. ‘Yeah. Okay. But if Mum asks, I did everything I could to make you come with us. Alright?’

I couldn’t help laughing. It was obvious Mum had given Matt strict instructions to keep an eye on me, which was fine. It was nothing I hadn’t expected because, despite our ages, we were quite clearly always going to be kids to our parents. But her concern was totally unnecessary. As was Matt’s. ‘Go on. Get out there and enjoy yourself. I really will be fine. In fact, I’m looking forward to exploring the place. It’s got a good feel about it.’

‘Look, meet us for drinks later, okay? There’s an après-ski bar – The Ice Tree – at the bottom of the slopes, just by the back of the spa. I’ll give you a call when we’re done and I’ll buy you a beer. How does that sound?’

‘That sounds great,’ I smiled, almost pushing him out the door. ‘Now get out of here. I’ll see you later.’

I closed the door and walked back into the room, crouching down beside my half-unpacked suitcase, reaching into a side compartment and pulling out a framed photograph – of Jase and me, at Glastonbury a few years ago. It was a photo I loved because we both looked so happy, and we had been. Incredibly so. I remembered everything about that trip, every conversation we’d had, every band we’d seen, every song we’d sung along to. Since he’d been gone I’d made it my mission to remember it all, letting no memory become blurred or weak or fade into the background. Especially now, at Christmas. A time when those no longer here were probably missed more than at any other time of the year, and for me it was a time when I missed Jase more than I could ever explain to anyone.

I stood the photograph up on the bedside table and pulled myself back up, eyeing the pile of clothes stacked neatly on the floor – the padded jacket, the snow trousers; the pair of pink boots I’d bought on the spur of the moment on a shopping trip to Newcastle just before we’d flown out here. I might not be donning the salopettes and ski boots today, but this was Lapland, and the last time I’d checked the temperature outside it was hitting -25 degrees, so if I was even thinking about leaving this hotel then those layers had to go on. Pushing a hand through my hair, I leant over to pick up my clothes, and proceeded to get ready for my day of exploring my temporary new home.

*

It didn’t take long to walk into the small and compact resort, which was just across the road from our hotel. But even before I’d hit the main town centre it felt like I was being thrust into a Christmas wonderland, with huge pine trees strewn with fairy lights on almost every corner, and a multitude of decorations strung up outside every building, giving nobody any excuse not to realise what time of year it was. From reindeers to Santa Claus, singing angels to beautifully elaborate nativity scenes – walking along the snow-covered streets that wound their way through the maze of restaurants, bars and shops felt like escaping into a Christmas you only ever really saw in movies or on TV, and it was making me feel something I hadn’t felt in such a long time. It was making me feel that maybe I could enjoy Christmas again, if I let myself. Even if Jase wasn’t here to share all of it with me. Because this kind of Christmas was something else, made all the more magical by the beautiful, rose-coloured sky that was giving out a kind of surreal half-light against the barrage of decorations and fairy lights that lit up the resort.

With only an average of about three hours’ sunlight a day at this time of year in the Arctic Circle, spending most of the time in darkness was the weirdest thing to get used to, but I also knew that there were days when the sun didn’t rise at all, creating this half-light effect which, I had to admit, was quite stunning to witness.

As I reached the main plaza in the heart of the town centre, I stopped by one of the huge Christmas trees with its array of blue and white lights already twinkling in that strange half-light, and felt inside my jacket to retrieve my camera, quickly capturing a few shots before hurriedly sliding the camera back inside my jacket pocket before it froze. And although it was -25 degrees, I actually felt quite cosy wrapped up in my abundance of layers. But, having taken off a glove for a matter of seconds in order to take the photographs, I knew that without the layers it would be a very different story.

Overhead, the sky was the most incredible colour – a mixture of pink and orange streaks and, even though it wasn’t even lunchtime yet, I could see it wouldn’t be long before the early dusk arrived and this beautiful little place was bathed in that daytime darkness once again. This was so, so different to anything I’d ever experienced. I’d never seen anything like it and I actually found it quite mesmerising, just standing there, looking up at the sky, watching as it changed before my eyes, creating layer upon layer of colours from orange to pink to brown.

‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’

I spun round to see a tall young man standing beside me, dressed all in black from his hat to his snow boots. Where had he come from? I hadn’t even heard him walk up alongside me. Maybe I’d just been too deep in thought. And my hat was pulled right down over my ears so it probably wasn’t a complete surprise that I hadn’t heard him arrive.

‘Yes. Yes, it’s really beautiful,’ I said, watching him as he gazed up at the rapidly darkening sky, the colours deepening but still swirling around over our heads.

‘If you think this is something, then you should see the Northern Lights – Aurora Borealis…’ He stopped staring at the sky and looked directly at me, which took me slightly by surprise because I’d kind of been staring at him. He didn’t seem to mind, though. ‘Have you ever seen them?’

‘Erm, sorry… have I ever seen what?’ The sudden appearance of this stranger had unsettled me slightly. One thing I certainly wasn’t used to was being approached by attractive young men wanting to strike up a conversation. But something – I didn’t know what, exactly – was telling me he was okay. I had nothing to worry about.

‘The Northern Lights,’ he replied, smiling at me, and I had to turn away for a second. I’d been knocked for six somewhat and I just needed a moment to pull myself together.

‘No. No, I haven’t seen them,’ I said, turning back to look at him, taking in his handsome face with the beautiful smile, deep, dark eyes and perfect skin. He had a really lovely accent too. I wondered if he was a local. Maybe he was a ski instructor or something. Oh God, I hope he wasn’t trying to drum up business, because one place I really wasn’t in a hurry to be was on a pair of skis. I’d seen people outside the hotel trying to walk around in those ski boots and the majority of them looked as though they had a bad case of piles, which led me to think they obviously weren’t the easiest or most comfortable of things to wear. And that was before you even added the skis to the bottom of them. No, he was going to be bitterly disappointed if he was hoping for me to become a new pupil. I didn’t care how good-looking he was.

‘Would you like to?’ he asked, still looking at me with those intense eyes of his. He had one hell of a stare on him but the strange thing was, he wasn’t making me feel in the least bit uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, in fact.

‘Yes,’ I replied, unable to take my eyes off him, even though it felt a touch weird to be here in the middle of this magical little Christmas village staring at this stranger who’d seemed to appear out of nowhere. ‘Yes, I would.’

‘I think you should,’ he said, nodding slowly as he lifted his eyes skywards again, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his black jacket.

I wanted to ask why – why he thought I should – but, for some reason, I couldn’t seem to get the words out.

‘My name is Mikku,’ he went on, bringing his gaze once more back on me.

‘I… I’m Jessie,’ I said, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly tired. It was as if all the events of the past year had finally caught up with me – like a huge weight had just landed square on my shoulders, weighing me down.

‘Jessie… that’s a lovely name…’ He smiled at me again and, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the tiredness seemed to dissipate, leaving me with a strange sense of calm. ‘Would you like some company, Jessie?’

Was he coming on to me? But, as I looked at him, right into those ridiculously deep eyes of his, I knew it wasn’t like that. It was nothing like that. For some reason I just couldn’t explain, I felt incredibly comfortable with this man. This strange young man with the intense gaze and the soft voice. And, despite having planned this as a day to reflect, a day to be on my own and think about what it was I was supposed to do with this new, enforced future of mine, I suddenly realised that, yes. Yes, I did actually want some company.

‘I think I’d like that,’ I said, returning the smile he gave me. ‘I think I’d like that a lot.’

*

I sat down at the secluded corner table in the small and cosy café that Mikku had brought us to in the centre of town. It had a warm and welcoming atmosphere with terracotta and brown painted walls, a dark stone floor and a huge open fire at one end that crackled and burned from within an imposing stone fireplace decorated with candles and the most beautiful holly and berry garland. Fairy lights hung from the ceiling and Christmas songs played in the background, still audible above the sound of chatter from the many customers who were enjoying lunch, grabbing some time to relax away from the cold and the snow.

‘You look as though you have far too much on your mind.’ Mikku’s voice broke into my thoughts and I looked up as he sat down opposite me, now without the black jacket and hat he’d been wearing outside. He really was a striking young man with short, dark hair that matched those vivid, almost black, eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Jessie. I didn’t mean to speak out of turn, you just look a little… you look lost. You look sad.’

I turned away for a second, looking out of the window at the far end of the café at the decorated shops opposite, people trudging past in their snow boots and layers of winter clothing, everyone gearing up for a Christmas they’d never forget. I had a strange feeling I wasn’t going to forget it in a hurry either. I just didn’t know why yet, and that made everything all the more confusing.

‘I’m not sad,’ I said, turning to face him, but the second his eyes met mine I felt my shoulders sag and I sighed, sitting back in my chair. ‘Okay, yes. I’m sad. And yeah, I guess I’m also a little bit lost.’

Mikku sat back too, taking a sip of the gorgeous-smelling coffee he’d placed in front of us. ‘Are you here on holiday?’ he asked, his eyes still looking into mine.

I broke the stare and shrugged, gazing down at my hands clasped tightly over my stomach. ‘I’m not really sure you could call it a holiday,’ I said quietly, catching sight of the red and blue friendship bracelet Jase had bought me that had been a permanent fixture on my left wrist for years now. I hadn’t been able to take it off. I didn’t want to because if I did then surely that was like saying goodbye to everything Jase and I had shared, and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Not yet. A sudden wave of sadness washed over me and if I hadn’t been sitting there in the middle of a crowded café then I was sure I’d have burst into tears. My emotions were still quite obviously all over the place. Even after all these months.

‘I can see it,’ Mikku said. ‘This aura of sadness. It’s all around you.’

I slowly looked up, my eyes meeting his again and the strangest feeling flooded over me – a wave of something I couldn’t explain – but it was a nice feeling, a feeling of calm, almost.

‘You shouldn’t be this sad,’ Mikku smiled, a smile that was almost infectious, as I couldn’t help but smile back, even though it was the last thing I actually felt like doing.

‘No. I shouldn’t,’ I whispered, reaching out for the mug of coffee in front of me, taking the smallest of sips. It tasted like no coffee I’d ever tasted before – it was hard to explain the exact taste. All I knew was that it was the most incredible coffee I’d ever had the pleasure of drinking. And, for some unknown reason, just that one tiny sip had completely relaxed me. My shoulders felt looser, my stomach didn’t feel tied up in knots anymore and the threat of tears seemed a long way off. I just felt – I felt good. And, despite the fact it was all a little bit weird, I didn’t question it. I didn’t want to question it. I liked the way I was suddenly feeling.

‘So, Jessie, what brings you to the Arctic Circle?’ Mikku asked, leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on the table, those dark eyes of his peering right into mine.

I glanced down into my coffee for a few seconds. He seemed a genuinely nice guy, and there was nothing telling me otherwise, but I’d only met him barely a few minutes ago and I didn’t really feel much like telling him everything about me just yet. ‘Why don’t you tell me a little bit about you,’ I said, looking back up at him. ‘I’m going to take a bit of a wild guess here but, I’m assuming you hail from this part of the world? Judging by your accent?’

He nodded, stirring his coffee but not taking his eyes off me. Yet there was nothing leering or weird about his stare. It was almost comforting. Today was certainly turning out to be a strange one, that was for sure.

‘So, what do you do here in Lapland? For a job, I mean?’ I asked, studying his handsome face. ‘Oh, sorry, am I being a bit nosy? Just tell me to mind my own business…’

‘It’s okay,’ he smiled, reaching out to gently touch my arm and as he did so I felt what could only be described as a tiny electric shock shoot right through me, followed by an intense warmth, like a blanket of calm wrapping itself around me. ‘You aren’t being nosy. Surely I’m the nosy one, asking you why you are here in Lapland when that really has nothing to do with me.’

But as I looked into his eyes, I had the strangest feeling that it had quite a bit to do with him. I just had absolutely no idea how or why. Yet.

Suddenly, Mikku pulled his hand away from my arm and sat back in his seat, his gaze slightly less intense now, but that smile was still there, still lighting up his youthful face. ‘I work here, in this café, sometimes…’ he began, his eyes fixed firmly on mine. ‘And I help out at the Christmas market, over the holiday period,’ he said, finally answering my question, even though I’d actually lost the thread of what we were supposed to be talking about, so strange were the feelings I was experiencing this afternoon, ‘…selling traditional Sami hand-crafted gifts and souvenirs.’

I looked at him again, frowning slightly. ‘Sami…? Are you…?’

He nodded, taking another sip of his coffee. ‘I’m Sami, yes. My family come from a small town not all that far from here, in fact, my mother still believes I should be back home helping my father and uncle herd reindeer, not working here. It’s been our family business for a long time, and she’s very much a lover of all things traditional.’

‘And you’re not?’ I asked, suddenly fascinated by this man. I knew that the Sami were very spiritual people, surrounded by myths and legends, and I’d hoped, but hadn’t thought for one minute, that I actually would get to meet a real-life Sami. Maybe it suddenly explained why I’d felt that instant connection to him. And surely there had to be a reason for that, didn’t there? Everything happened for a reason, I was a strong believer of that. Everything happened for a reason.

Mikku shrugged, turning away from me for the first time since he’d sat down, glancing briefly over at the huge Christmas tree that stood by the side of the fireplace. ‘I guess I just wanted to spread my wings a little bit. See what else was out there. Things have changed so much for the Sami people over the years; I just wanted to make the most of that.’ He looked at me, smiling that smile again and the effect it had on me was incredible. It was almost as if his smile was guiding me, giving me back the focus I’d briefly lost, telling me just what it was I should do. ‘I’m really not that interesting, Jess.’

I leant forward, cocking my head on one side as I took in every inch of his handsome face. He was younger than me, quite a bit younger than me, actually, but he seemed to have an old soul. There was something inside this man that drew me to him, but I just couldn’t explain it. As stupid as it sounded, it felt as though, out of the blue, I’d found a real-life guardian angel. ‘I suppose everyone just assumes that Sami people spend their lives herding reindeer or appearing in traditional dress at Christmas markets in Finnish holiday resorts.’ I suddenly realised what I’d just said, and we both burst out laughing. This was the most comfortable I’d felt with a man since – since Jase. The longer I sat there, in that wonderful little café with this fascinating man called Mikku, the more I knew I could spend the rest of the day just sitting here, talking to him. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. But suddenly, the thought of Jase, well, it was enough to make the laughter stop.

‘What is wrong, Jess?’ Mikku asked. ‘I could tell from the second I met you that something was weighing heavily on your shoulders. But you can talk to me.’

I looked at him, watching as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of matches, striking one up to light the candle in the centre of the table as outside the afternoon darkness that had been threatening to take over the day finally arrived, sweeping away the beautiful rose-coloured sky and replacing it with a dark, black blanket.

‘You get used to it,’ Mikku smiled, blowing out the match. ‘The dark days and the long nights. By the time you go home it’ll feel like normality.’

I smiled back, looking outside again, the Christmas decorations now lighting up the dark afternoon, illuminating the street, heightening the festive feel.

‘How old are you, Mikku?’ I hadn’t actually meant to ask that out loud but curiosity had got the better of me. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to ask anything so personal…’

‘I am twenty-eight,’ he replied without missing a beat.

Fourteen years younger than me but, as I’d said, he seemed to have a much older soul.

‘Age is not a barrier to anything, Jess. I understand a lot more than you may think.’

I wanted to ask exactly what he meant by that, because it seemed such an odd thing to say, but the words wouldn’t come out and instead I just looked at him for a few more seconds, not really sure where this day was heading, because it certainly wasn’t turning out the way I’d thought it would. But, all of a sudden that need to open up to someone took over and I found myself about to tell him things I wouldn’t ordinarily have told a complete stranger. But Mikku didn’t feel like a complete stranger. Not anymore. ‘I lost my husband – a year ago. He died in a motorcycle accident two weeks before Christmas… just before we were due to fly out here, to Lapland.’

‘Then this trip must be very hard for you,’ Mikku said quietly, fixing me with another look that I couldn’t quite read. But his eyes were almost as mesmerising as that rose-coloured sky had been earlier. Hypnotic, almost.

‘It is… in a way. It’s very hard,’ I replied, unable to tear my eyes away from his. It was as if there was some invisible force-field that was preventing me from looking at anything other than him.

‘He would have loved this place, am I right?’

Those dark, penetrating eyes of his filled me with that strange, warm and calming feeling again as we looked at each other. ‘Yes,’ I said quietly. ‘He would have loved this place.’ I started fiddling with the handle on my coffee mug, briefly breaking the stare to glance out of the window, focusing on the flashing Santa Claus outside the shop opposite, just for a second or two, before turning back to Mikku, the flickering light of the candle making that stare of his all the more intense.

‘I just needed to get away,’ I said, unable to take my eyes off him now. I just couldn’t do it, even if I’d wanted to. ‘The memories… I don’t want to forget Jase, I could never do that, but…’

‘You need to move on?’

‘I… I don’t know,’ I whispered, my eyes now watching my fingers as they continued to fiddle with my coffee mug.

‘There is a reason you are here, Jessie. I am certain of that.’

I frowned. It seemed such a strange thing to say to someone he’d only just met, but in a way that didn’t feel threatening or strange – in fact, it felt as though I should know what he was talking about. But I didn’t. Not yet.

‘What… what do you mean?’ I asked. ‘I don’t understand…’

He stopped me from talking anymore by taking my hand, which in turn made me look at him again, those dark eyes of his switching on that force-field to keep me focused on nothing but him. ‘You will enjoy your stay here, Jessie. I promise you.’

‘I will?’ I was starting to feel a little confused now.

‘You will.’ He kept hold of my hand, his gaze intensifying even more as those dark eyes peered right into mine. ‘You have to do what your heart tells you to do, Jessie. It’s as simple as that. And then you will be happy once more. Because I’m sure your husband wouldn’t want you to be this sad for the rest of your life.’

I looked up at the ceiling for a second, taking in the dark wood and the twinkling fairy lights and the Christmas music in the background, Mikku’s hand still holding tightly onto mine. This felt like the weirdest, most confusing few minutes of my life, yet there was also a feeling of total clarity somewhere underneath the surface that I didn’t quite understand, but I had a feeling I would. Soon enough.

‘Do you like music?’ Mikku asked, a completely random question that threw me for a second.

‘Erm, yes. Yes, I do. My brother and my dad have their own band and… we went to see them – Jase and me – we went to see the band on our first date.’

‘There is a band on at The Ice Tree après ski bar this afternoon. You should go.’

‘I… I was supposed to be meeting my brother at the bar later, but… but I don’t really feel like it now. I’m so tired…’

‘You should go,’ Mikku repeated, looking straight at me, his eyes practically boring into mine with an intensity I’d never experienced before. This surely had to be some crazy dream because I had no explanation for any of what was happening to me today. Meeting this incredible young man with his old soul and his deep, dark eyes, who seemed to be able to talk to me without uttering a word – because that’s what it felt like – was this some kind of fate? I believed in fate. Was that what was happening here? Was it fate I’d come to Lapland? Was it fate that I’d found Mikku? Or had he found me? And why was he so insistent that I went to the après ski bar this afternoon? Surely the band would be playing again at some point during my time here? Why did I have to go this afternoon?

‘Are you going to come with me?’ I asked, still unable to break eye contact.

Mikku shook his head. ‘I cannot. I have other things to do, but I think you would enjoy it, Jess. I think you will get a lot out of it.’

He did say the oddest things, but it still didn’t feel like anything I should be concerned about. If anything, the strange things he said seemed to mean more. I just couldn’t quite work out what, exactly.

My head suddenly started spinning and I sat back as he let go of my hand, and it was like the spell had been broken as the intensity faded and that wonderfully warm smile of his returned.

‘I must go,’ he said, standing up and slipping on his jacket, pulling his hat down over his short, black hair. ‘But I will see you again, Jess.’ He looked at me once more, those eyes fixing me with that stare that lasted just seconds, before he started walking away, towards the door that led back out into the cold, dark Lapland afternoon. ‘I will see you again.’

And of that, I had absolutely no doubt.