Читать книгу All the Romance You Need This Christmas: 5-Book Festive Collection - Romy Sommer, Georgia Hill - Страница 30

Zac sat at the bar, nervously swigging from a bottle of imported beer as he waited for Jessie to arrive. All around him the sounds of a Christmas party in full swing were to be heard, from the music coming from the main bar – where the party was being held – to the sounds of children running around the place as they talked in loud, overexcited voices about how they were going to see Santa Claus flying through the sky later. It was a happy place to be tonight, here, in this warm and friendly hotel, where the festive atmosphere was turned up to full and everyone was so happy it was catching. But then, he didn’t need anyone else’s happiness to make him feel good. He had his own, thanks to the incredible woman he’d met here, in this weird and wonderful little town. And it had been a long time since he’d wanted to feel happy again. Since losing Evie he’d almost felt as if he’d had no right to feel happy, not when she wasn’t around anymore, it didn’t seem fair. How could it be fair? They should have been sharing this happiness. But that had been taken from them in the cruellest of ways and he’d tried to live with it, tried to come to terms with it, tried to get over it in any way he could, which had usually consisted of him moving from ski resort to ski resort, picking up women and throwing himself into the party scene in the hope that the memories would fade and he’d stop feeling so empty, so lost. But none of it had worked. None of it had made him feel any better. None of it had stopped the guilt or the pain. None of it. Until he’d come here. Until he’d found this place. And in this place he had found Jessie. For the first time in a long time Zac felt as though a new beginning was finally within his reach; one that Evie would approve of. And he wasn’t going to let that go.

*

‘Promise me, when you meet him, you won’t go over the top or scare him off or do anything to embarrass me. Promise me, Matt.’

Matt looked at me, arching an eyebrow. ‘Honestly, Sis, what do you take me for?’

I’d completely forgotten that by inviting Zac here to the party at the hotel, he was going to have to meet Matt. But I couldn’t really avoid it now, could I? He’d be downstairs in the bar, waiting for me, so I could hardly go and tell him to leave just in case my little brother embarrassed me. Or was that just an excuse I was making up in my own head? Because Matt wasn’t really like that. And I knew it. Matt wanted me to be happy more than anyone, so I knew he would never do anything to intentionally embarrass me.

‘Jesus, Matt, I don’t know if this is right, y’know? I mean, I’ve only been here a few days and so much has happened and…’

He came over to me, holding me gently by the arms, kissing my forehead. ‘Everything happens for a reason; you and I are strong believers in that, Jess. Everything happens for a reason.’

I looked into his eyes, feeling tears stinging the back of mine. ‘Even Jase’s death? Did that happen for a reason too?’

Matt pulled me into his arms, hugging me tight, kissing the top of my head as he held me. ‘Jess, sweetheart, I don’t know. I really don’t know, but what I do know, and I’ll keep telling you this until you start to believe it, is that Jase wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.’ He pulled away slightly, gazing right into my eyes, reaching out to wipe away the tears that had fallen. ‘He wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life, Jessie, and you know that. You know that.’

I looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds, trying to clear my head, trying to frantically blink away the tears that I didn’t want to cry, but it was proving impossible. ‘Why is everything so hard, Matt?’

‘Because you make it that way, Jess. And it doesn’t have to be. Go downstairs, have a drink with Zac and enjoy yourself. Okay?’

I looked at him, trying to smile. ‘Is that an order?’

‘Yeah,’ he smiled back, squeezing my hand. ‘Now, go fix your face and the next time I see you I expect you to be happily clinging onto that ski instructor with a large drink in your hand. You got that?’

I gave him another hug, just letting the warmth and familiarity of him cocoon me for a second before letting him go. ‘I got it.’

‘Good. I’ll see you down there, then.’

I waited until he was gone before going over to the bedside table, taking a photograph out of the top drawer. I sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at the photograph of Jase with his beloved surfboard, his smile wide, his hair and beard all wet from the water and I remembered the day that photo was taken, at a surf competition in Tynemouth.

‘I’ll always love you, baby,’ I whispered, running my fingers lightly over the image, wiping my eyes with the back of my other hand as more tears escaped. ‘I will always, always love you. So much I don’t know if I can ever move on.’ I looked up from the photograph, my vision blurred as the tears took over once more. ‘Give me a sign, Jase, please. Just some kind of sign to tell me you’re okay with this because… because I just don’t know. I really don’t know.’ Bringing the photograph up to my lips I kissed Jase’s image, holding it to me as I let the last of the tears fall.

Sighing heavily I returned the picture to the drawer and walked over to the mirror, grimacing slightly as I looked at my reflection. I’d done enough damage to warrant a quick make-up repair job and as I reapplied mascara and dusted more powder over my tear-stained face, I took a deep breath and remembered what Mikku had said – I’d been ready a long time ago. For what, exactly? Ready to move on, is that what he meant? Of course he did. Of course that’s what he meant. But I didn’t feel ready to move on. I felt anything but ready.

Putting on another coat of lip gloss I took one last, deep breath and straightened the straps of my black top as I stared at my reflection. Maybe Matt was right. Jase wouldn’t want me to be this unhappy for the rest of my life, and Zac made me happy, didn’t he? Every time I was with him I was happy.

‘I will always love you,’ I whispered once more as I looked out of the window at the black night sky, a million tiny stars flickering away overhead like a blanket of lunar fairy lights. ‘I will always, always love you.’

*

Walking into the bar I scanned the room, trying to find him, scared he’d upped and left, got sick of waiting for me because I was already over half an hour late. I wouldn’t blame him if he’d gone, but the thought of him not being here filled me with both relief and fear. I wanted him to be here, I really did, but at the same time, if he’d gone, then at least that meant that maybe this wasn’t to be after all. At least then I’d know.

‘I thought you weren’t coming.’

I swung round at the sound of his gorgeous, Scottish accent and I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face. Surely that was a sign in itself, wasn’t it? The fact he always made me smile whenever I saw him. ‘I’m sorry, I… I had a bit of a make-up nightmare, you know how it is.’

He gave a small laugh, glancing down at his feet for a second before looking back up at me, those beautiful green eyes of his looking right into mine. ‘You’re beautiful, Jessie. You don’t need anything else to make you look any more beautiful to me.’

I gulped silently, my stomach flipping over as I just stared at him; it was all I could do because no words were coming out of my mouth. I felt like I’d been thrust head-first into some kind of amazing dream and if I never woke up again, if this was it, if this was my life now, I’d be quite happy. ‘I… I…’

‘Would you like a drink?’ Zac smiled, and I couldn’t help laughing. These past few days had felt like one long first date and it had been exhausting and confusing and fun, all at the same time.

‘Please.’

‘Come on,’ he said, still smiling as he held out his hand and I took it, letting him lead me to a cosy table in the corner of the bar near a window that was adorned with Nordic straw decorations and a candle that burned brightly on the window-sill, casting its flickering shadow onto the snow-covered ground outside. ‘I’ve already got some in. I hope you like sparkling wine.’

‘Are we celebrating something?’ I asked, settling myself down in a large, chocolate-brown chair, looking briefly outside at the huge Christmas tree with its hundreds of fairy lights that practically lit up the entire area around it with its multi-coloured glow.

‘I think we are, yes, don’t you?’

I looked at him. ‘What are we celebrating?’ I asked, picking up my glass and taking a sip, my eyes still fixed firmly on his.

‘Finding each other,’ he replied, holding my gaze as he also took a sip of wine.

‘Finding each other,’ I repeated, finally breaking eye contact to look back out of the window, focusing on a couple standing beside the Christmas tree, laughing and hugging each other and for a brief second they reminded me of Jase and me, a few Christmases ago, when we’d attended an outdoor carol concert in the centre of Tynemouth. We’d sang along at the tops of our voices, laughing and hugging each other beside the huge Christmas tree that had been erected in the centre of the village square, feeling as though nobody could ever take the happiness we felt away from us.

‘Jess?’

Zac’s voice brought me back to reality and I looked at him, at his handsome face and his kind eyes and I couldn’t stop it, that overwhelming sense of loss that swept over me like a blanket of extreme sadness, taking over everything.

‘I’ve got to go,’ I said, grabbing my jacket as I ran out of the bar, quickly pulling it on before I continued running outside into the cold and the snow but it didn’t matter. I’d had to get out of there, I’d had to.

‘Jessie!’

He’d followed me; of course he’d followed me. What had I thought he was going to do? Just shrug his shoulders, think of me as nothing more than some neurotic, emotional wreck who couldn’t keep it together, and leave well alone?

But I still wasn’t ready to face him just yet, so I ran around the corner, round the back of the hotel, running blindly because it was dark, away from the lights of the Christmas tree and the decorations. So I didn’t see the man in front of me, bumping into him with a force that almost winded me, so much so that I couldn’t scream the scream I wanted to because he could have been anyone. Lurking round the back of the hotel.

‘It is okay, it is just me, Jess. It is me, Mikku.’

I clutched my stomach as I tried to catch my breath, squinting as I looked at him. ‘Mikku? What… what are you doing here?’

‘I am taking a walk before I go home.’

It seemed a funny place to be taking a walk, but for some reason I didn’t even think to question it, instead I was filled with a realisation that I hadn’t even asked him where home was. I hadn’t asked him all that much, if I was honest, but then, when I thought about it, he’d never really given me that much of a chance.

‘Why are you running away?’ he asked me, leading me back to where there was slightly more light, his touch sending a strange buzz shooting right through me. If someone offered me a million pounds I’d never be able to tell them what I felt when he touched me. It was just so – so, different.

‘I’m not running away,’ I said, pulling my hat down further over my ears as the freezing temperatures hit me.

‘Your time here in Lapland,’ Mikku began, leaning back against the wall beside me, both of us staring out at the view of the little resort town over the road, the Christmas lights making it glow like some fairytale village, the distant noise of music and laughter the only sound we could hear. I certainly couldn’t hear Zac any more. ‘Has it changed the way you feel?’

‘About what?’ I asked, the arctic air almost burning my cheeks.

‘About your life,’ Mikku replied, turning to look at me, and once again I was taken over by that penetrating stare of his. ‘About the way you want to live it now.’

‘I… I don’t know,’ I said quietly, another wave of confusion taking over. It was all I’d felt all week – confusion and happiness, followed by more happiness, and then another bout of confusion.

‘The confusion, it will go away. If you let it,’ Mikku went on, almost as if he could read my mind, that stare of his now softer, calmer. ‘Have you told Zac about your husband?’

I shook my head. ‘I don’t think Zac and me – I don’t think it’s going to work, Mikku. It’s too soon…’

‘It’s been a year, Jessie. Is it going to be another year before you allow yourself to be happy again? Before you allow yourself to move on?’

‘And what if I’m happy to stay like I am, huh? What if that’s what I want?’

The look he gave me intensified again as he stared deep into my eyes. ‘And, is that what you want, Jessie? Is that really what you want? To live like this for the rest of your life? Alone with your memories…?’

‘I don’t want to forget him, Mikku. I can’t forget him. I can’t.’ I could feel tears start to prick the back of my eyes again and I looked up at the night sky, a sky that wasn’t black anymore, it had changed to a dark purple with an aura of light swirling around it and a thousand tiny stars scattered all over. It was quite mesmerising, and for a few seconds I couldn’t take my eyes off it. Just standing there, looking at the sky, it felt as though everything was suddenly starting to fall into place. Everything I needed to do. Everything I could have done a long time ago, if I’d let myself. But maybe I’d had to come here to see it for myself.

‘You will not forget him, Jessie. He won’t let you.’

I looked at Mikku again, his dark eyes shining as they peered into mine, his smile beautiful and serene. That was the only way I could describe him – serene.

‘You will never forget him. But he doesn’t want you to be alone forever. I know that.’

‘You know… ? What… How… What do you mean…?’

‘Tell Zac,’ Mikku smiled, taking my hand and giving it a quick squeeze. ‘Tell him.’

‘I…’

‘Jessie! Jess, where… Jesus, Jessie, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing round here?’

I turned to see Zac come hurtling round the corner, out of breath and panting as he doubled over, trying to catch his breath. ‘I was… I was just talking to…’ I turned back to where Mikku had been standing, but he’d gone. I hadn’t even felt him let go of my hand, but he’d definitely disappeared. ‘I was just talking to someone.’

‘Who?’ Zac panted, finally standing up straight, leaning back against the wall.

‘A friend. He’s been… he’s been a great help to me since I’ve been here.’

Zac looked at me, frowning slightly. ‘A big help? In what way?’

I stared out at the view of the town again, focusing on one of the giant Christmas trees across the road with its hundreds of tiny, white lights that twinkled in the darkness. ‘You might have noticed I’ve been behaving a little strangely these past few days.’ I turned to look at Zac and he smiled at me.

‘I just figured you had something on your mind, and it’s not really my place to pry into your private life, is it?’

I averted my gaze, scared I was going to start crying when I finally told him the truth. Because I knew I had to now. It was the right thing to do. ‘You wanted to celebrate the fact we’d found each other, didn’t you?’

‘Yes, I did. Jessie, sweetheart, this has been one hell of a strange week but the only thing I know, the only thing I’m sure about is that meeting you – that happened for a reason. I needed to meet you, I know that now.’

I looked at him, and this time it was my turn to frown. ‘You needed to meet me? I don’t understand…’

He reached out and took my gloved hand in his, his eyes staring deep into mine. ‘Last year, two weeks before Christmas, my fiancée, Evie, she died. In a car accident. She was coming home from a Christmas party and, well, some idiot had been drinking and his car crashed into the taxi Evie was travelling in as it waited at some traffic lights… She was killed instantly.’

‘Oh my God,’ I whispered, my heart almost jumping into my mouth. I felt quite breathless as I looked at him, watched the way his beautiful green eyes clouded over as he spoke. I could feel his sadness, I could feel it so strongly, washing over me, mingling with my own, and I couldn’t stop the tears from clouding my vision now. ‘I… I had no idea.’

‘She was the most beautiful, incredible woman, y’know? My soul mate. And I didn’t think I’d ever get over losing her and I tried, believe me, I tried to get over it. I threw myself into anything and everything I could. I tried starting new relationships but the guilt wouldn’t go. The guilt that I was betraying her, that I shouldn’t be doing this because I still loved her so much but there comes a time when being alone just isn’t an option anymore, Jessie. I’m tired of being alone. I loved Evie so much. So bloody much and it still breaks my heart… this time of year can be the loneliest of all. Don’t you think?’

I stared at him, saying nothing for a few minutes, letting everything he’d just told me sink in. I’d had no idea, no idea at all of just how much we needed each other. But we did, didn’t we? We needed each other.

‘I think… and this might sound crazy but, I think something made me come here, to Lapland, this Christmas. Something made me come here because… because I needed to meet you.’

I quickly wiped away the tears with the back of my glove as they started falling slowly down my cold cheek, my eyes fixed firmly on his. Suddenly everything was starting to make sense. I’d had a feeling I was supposed to be here, in this magical little town, this wonderful place, for a reason. And the reason was Zac.

‘My husband, Jase, he… he died too – a year ago, two weeks before Christmas.’

Zac squeezed my hand and I could see the tears starting to fall down his face, too, and all I wanted to do was kiss them away. And make everything better.

‘He was… it was a motorbike accident, a drunk-driver, on a country road and… I let him go out that night, Zac. I let him go out when I knew something didn’t feel right and if I’d only spoken up, told him what I felt…’

‘You couldn’t have known,’ Zac whispered, stroking my tears away with his glove-covered thumb. ‘You can’t blame yourself.’

‘But I did. For a long time. I still blame myself now. He was my life, Zac. He was my world, and without him I didn’t think I’d ever be able to carry on because… because I loved him so much, and losing him…’

‘It felt as though the world had ended,’ Zac whispered. ‘It felt as though a huge part of you had been ripped away and nothing could ever replace it.’

I nodded, still staring into his eyes, still feeling as though the last piece of an unfinished jigsaw puzzle was finally falling into place. ‘But then you came along, Zac.’

He smiled, squeezing my hand again, leaning forward to gently kiss the tears from my cheek, his lips warm against my cold skin. ‘But the guilt still wouldn’t go away?’

I nodded, holding onto his hand so tight because I didn’t want him to go, not anymore. I wanted him to stay right where he was. ‘The second I saw you, at The Ice Tree, I can’t explain what it was but the feelings I was experiencing… they were things I hadn’t felt in a long time. Because I hadn’t wanted to. Not since…’

He stopped me from talking by kissing me – a soft, beautiful, warm kiss and I fell against him, letting him hold me, loving the fact I was in somebody’s arms again. But not just anybody’s arms – I was in the arms of a man I knew I should be with. I’d come here to find him. He’d come here to find me. And this incredible little town had made sure we’d found each other. Somehow.

‘We’ll never forget them, Jess. We’ll never stop loving them. But we can stop feeling guilty now. I think we can finally allow ourselves the chance to move on, don’t you? I mean, it’s crazy, yes, and it’s happened so fast but… I think it was meant to be, don’t you?’

I was about to say yes, it was, it really was, when the most beautiful light coming from the sky made us both look up, his hand still holding tightly onto mine.

‘The Northern Lights,’ I gasped, unable to take my eyes off the scene developing above us.

Ribbons of green and sheets of red seemed to intertwine with sweeping curtains of blue, shimmering like sunlight in a wave of colour that was just breathtaking as it reflected in the darkness. I’d never seen anything like it before. I’d heard about the Northern Lights; they were the main reason Jase and I had wanted to come here, in the hope of seeing them, of experiencing this, but now that it was happening it was more beautiful than I’d ever imagined it could be.

Looking up at the glowing streams of colour, the bright lights that settled like early-morning mist over a meadow, I felt a mixture of emotions from pure joy to extreme sadness, tears still streaming down my face yet I was smiling. I was smiling the biggest smile as I watched this magical wonder of nature happening above me, the darkness and the incredible light morphing together like something only seen in fairytales. And this was my very own fairytale, what had happened here this Christmas.

‘It’s so beautiful,’ I whispered, gripping Zac’s hand tight, wanting so much to look at him but I was unable to take my eyes off the incredible sight in the sky. The dancing lights and the swirling colours were utterly mesmerising. It was as though every streak of colour, every swirl of those ribbons of green or those curtains of blue, it was as though they were talking to me, giving me some kind of message, telling me everything was okay. Telling me it was time to move on. Finally.

Then, as quickly as they’d appeared, the lights stopped for a moment, almost as if allowing their onlookers to take in their ethereal beauty for a final few seconds before they casually danced into the distance, swirling through the stars, still twinkling, the beautiful mess of colours still visible amongst the entanglement of ghostly lights. They were leaving us. They were returning home, back to whichever strange and wonderful land they’d come from. And then, as if someone had flicked a switch, the lights faded, and the sky was once more dark again, the show over, save for two tiny shooting stars that seemed to be in a hurry to catch up with those departed lights as they sped across the sky like miniscule rockets, stopping just briefly, so very briefly, above us before shooting off into the distance.

I couldn’t say anything. What I’d just seen had left me speechless, but it had also left me with a feeling of total clarity, a calmness I hadn’t felt in a long time. It seemed as though Jase was telling me it was okay. He was giving me that message I’d asked him to give me. Everything was going to be okay. And I’d needed to hear that, needed to know that more than I’d realised. He’d just given me his blessing to live again, and as crazy as that sounded, that’s what it had felt like to me.

‘They were there,’ Zac whispered, his hand still holding onto mine, his eyes still looking up at the now-darkened sky. ‘Those lights, those two tiny shooting stars… they were there.’

‘I know.’ I finally tore my eyes away from the sky and turned to Zac. And one look at his expression told me he was feeling everything I was feeling too. He was feeling it all. ‘I know,’ I smiled, a sudden, unbelievable happiness sweeping over me, as if someone had just whipped that blanket of sadness away to reveal this extreme joy, this utter exhilaration. I felt like a whole new beginning had opened up for me, a new start. I felt like my life was beginning all over again, and Jase was telling me to go and live it. And as Zac swept me up into his arms, spinning me round, both of us laughing like we hadn’t laughed in a long, long time, I knew that coming here hadn’t been coincidence. Something far more special, a force that could never be explained, had brought both Zac and I here. That’s what had brought us together.

‘Mikku,’ I gasped as Zac finally put me down, my heart still racing, still beating so hard I could feel it banging against my ribs.

‘Mikku?’ Zac asked, frowning slightly. ‘Who’s Mikku?’

‘My friend. The one I was talking to before you arrived… I’ve got to find him…’

‘Jessie! Hang on…’ Zac ran after me, grabbing my hand as we scurried over the road towards the resort centre. ‘Who’s this Mikku? And why are you running off to find him? What’s going on?’

I stopped and turned to face him, the lights of the giant Christmas tree illuminating his handsome face, those incredible green eyes of his shining as he looked at me. ‘Mikku, he… I don’t know, it’s really hard to explain – everything’s been really hard to explain these past few days but, Mikku he, I think he played a really big part in making sure we got together. Does that sound crazy?’

‘No more crazy than anything else that’s happened lately,’ Zac replied, pulling me against him for a hug, kissing the top of my head.

‘I just want to say thank you,’ I said, holding onto him, enjoying the warmth his hug was giving me. ‘I need to say thank you.’

‘Okay,’ Zac smiled, slipping his hand into mine as we started walking towards Café Aurora. Mikku worked there, so maybe they’d know where I could find him. ‘Let’s go find this Mikku then. I’d quite like to thank him myself.’ Zac looked at me again, squeezing my hand. ‘For giving me my future back.’

A ridiculous feeling of hope and happiness welled up inside me as we walked, snuggled against one another as we passed other couples enjoying this magical Christmas Eve in this wonderful little town, families with excited children running around in the snow or being pulled along on sledges, their faces eager and excited as they wondered what the morning would bring.

Walking into Café Aurora, the atmosphere was electric. The place was jam-packed with people singing and dancing, the air filled with the heady scent of cinnamon and spice. It was a happy place. But I already knew that.

Pushing our way through the crowd, we finally found the bar at the back of the café. A young, dark-haired man smiled at us, signalling that he’d be over in a few seconds.

‘This place is certainly enjoying a busy Christmas Eve,’ Zac smiled, leaning back against the bar as he watched a group of children gather round the fire to sing another song, their parents looking on, all of them beaming with a happiness that was infectious. The place was just filled with it – happiness. It was the most incredible feeling.

‘It’s a special place,’ I said quietly, smiling at the barman as he finally approached us.

‘What can I get you?’ he grinned. ‘We’ve got an amazing mulled wine on the go at the minute. Just the thing for a cold Christmas Eve night, don’t you think?’

I couldn’t help grinning back. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stop grinning, actually. ‘That sounds amazing, thank you.’

‘Coming right up.’

He returned with the wine just seconds later, handing us two large, steaming mugs of warm, fragrant liquid that smelled so beautiful I almost didn’t want to drink it. ‘Oh, before I forget,’ I said, ‘… do you know where Mikku might be?’

The young barman frowned as he looked at me. ‘Mikku?’

‘Yeah. A young Sami man. He said he worked here…’

A look of realisation passed across the barman’s face, which fast turned into an expression I couldn’t explain. ‘When… when did you last see Mikku?’ he asked, looking at me with a slightly confused expression now.

‘About half an hour ago,’ I replied, glancing at Zac for a second – who just shrugged and took a sip of his mulled wine – before meeting the barman’s gaze again.

‘Mikku hasn’t worked here for over a year,’ the barman went on, and this time it was my turn to look confused.

‘But… but, I was only in here a couple of days ago and he was… he was wiping down tables and…’

‘Mikku died, last Christmas. It was a snowmobile accident. He was out with a group of other Samis looking for a child who’d gone missing in a snow storm but… the weather, it was way too treacherous. Mikku couldn’t control the snowmobile and… he died instantly. There was nothing they could do.’

I felt as thought the stuffing had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t say anything. How could Mikku be dead? How could he be dead when I’d seen him, just half an hour ago? When I’d had coffee with him, talked to him in the market? How could he be dead?

The barman looked at me, a sympathetic expression on his face now. ‘He was a kind man. I knew him well and I knew he would do anything for anybody. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.’

‘But… I don’t understand…’ I felt Zac take my hand and I looked at him, confusion temporarily taking over from the surge of happiness I’d been feeling before. ‘I don’t understand, Zac. I spoke to him, he talked to me, he helped me, guided me almost…’ It was then that another metaphorical punch to the stomach hit me, realisation that what we’d just seen tonight, up in the sky, it hadn’t just been Evie and Jase giving us their blessing, saying goodbye – it had been Mikku, too. ‘Oh my God,’ I whispered, taking a quick sip of mulled wine, the warm, spicy liquid giving me a sense of peace and calm and happiness. The happiness was back, pushing all sadness away. Despite what we’d just been told. ‘That’s why he told me to go to The Ice Tree that afternoon…’

Zac looked at me and it was his turn to give a home to the confused look now. ‘What… what do you mean?’

‘He told me I should go. Because he knew you were going to be there. He knew… and every time I had doubts, every time I thought I couldn’t go through with this he’d appear… he’d turn up, out of nowhere. I’d see him and he’d talk to me and he’d say the oddest things sometimes but…’ I looked at Zac, smiling. ‘But I understand why now. Tonight, when I ran out of the hotel, I told you I’d been talking to someone, didn’t I? I told you that… I told you… I’d been talking to Mikku. And he said I should tell you about Jase. He said I should tell you everything…’

‘Jessie, I don’t…’

‘He was my guardian angel, Zac. Don’t you see? That first afternoon, just after I’d met him, when he brought me here – I’d thought he was a real-life guardian angel, that’s how I thought of him. And I hadn’t been so far from the truth, had I? Because he was there, when I needed him, guiding me towards you, making sure we found each other, and tonight – tonight he could finally say goodbye. His work was done.’ I couldn’t help laughing, I couldn’t help it, I was just so happy. Yes, it was all crazy, and yes, people may think I was mad or deluded but I really didn’t care. I believed everything that had just happened to me. I believed this special little town really was a magical place where dreams could come true – even if you didn’t even know those dreams existed until you got here.

Zac pulled me against him, holding me tight, and I knew I never wanted to be anywhere else but in his arms. He’d never replace Jase, and I’d never replace Evie, but together we could make a start on creating new memories, together we could start a life that we both needed to live. Thanks to Mikku, and this wonderful town.

‘I don’t want you to go home,’ Zac whispered, kissing me gently, a kiss that tasted of cinnamon and star anise. ‘I want you to stay here, with me. Just until the end of the season. Stay here, with me. Let’s plan our life together, Jessie. Let’s do that, but let’s do that here. Please.’

I looked at him, and for a brief second I let reality pierce my dream-like existence as I thought about the shop back home and the life I’d left behind. Could I really forget about all that, just for a little while, to plan my new future? Kat would look after the shop, I knew that. And Mum would help, of course she would, after all, nobody had wanted me to find happiness again more than her. So, could I really be that brave and stay here, with Zac?

‘Please, Jess. This place; I’m not finished with it yet. I don’t want you to go and leave me alone here because I don’t think that’s what’s meant to happen. I think you’re meant to stay here, we’re meant to be here together and when we leave, I believe we’re meant to leave together. Don’t you?’

I smiled, reaching out to touch his face, closing my eyes as I kissed him back, a longer, slower kiss that sent a million silent messages between us. Messages that only we could read.

But what I truly believed was that I had my life back. Zac and I had found each other at a time when we needed one another the most, thanks to a guardian angel and a town I’d fallen in love with. Once upon a time I’d thought Christmas was gone forever – Jase had been my icing on the cake and without him Christmas had meant nothing. But now there was Zac. Now I had another chance to find a happiness that many never find, and I’d been lucky enough to find it twice.

Once more, Christmas was going to be a time I loved, a time to celebrate – a time to be thankful for everything I’d been given, a time to remember those people I’d loved. My fairytale now had its own happy ending. And never again would I have another Christmas without icing.