Читать книгу All the Romance You Need This Christmas: 5-Book Festive Collection - Romy Sommer, Georgia Hill - Страница 28

‘What’s happened to you, Jess?’ Matt asked as I ran around my room, frantically trying to find my favourite pale-green eye shadow that went so well with my dark hair. I’d never been one to wear all that much make-up, preferring the natural look, but this eye shadow had been a staple in my make-up bag. I’d always worn it whenever Jase and I had gone out anywhere, and that’s why I needed to find it now.

‘Nothing’s happened to me, Matt.’

‘Yeah. It has. For a couple of days now you’ve avoided hanging out with me, preferring to mooch around town for hours on end…’

‘I haven’t been “mooching” anywhere, as you put it. I just haven’t felt much like skiing, that’s all. And you know that’s not the main reason for me coming here anyway.’

Matt leant back against the wall, folding his arms. ‘So, and I might be wrong here, Sis, but, I’m going to hazard a guess that all this effort you’re making tonight, well, you’re not dressed up like that just to have pizza with me and the lads, are you? Although, Gary’s always had a bit of a crush on you so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind copping an eyeful of you in that get-up.’

I looked at myself in the mirror. Had I really made that much of an effort? Due to where we were, dresses weren’t the ideal thing to wear – heels weren’t exactly a safe or practical footwear choice in the snow – so I’d decided on skinny black jeans and an off-one-shoulder, loose-fitting, pale-green top, leaving my hair down because anything more elaborate would only go to waste anyway the second I stuck a hat on it, and there was no going anywhere without a hat in this place. Not if you wanted to feel your head for the rest of the night. It was an outfit that, okay, was probably a touch more “glamorous” than the kind of stuff I usually wore, but the skinny jeans meant I could wear boots other than my snow boots, and it was an outfit that wasn’t going to get crumpled or creased underneath my thick padded jacket. I just hadn’t been aware that I’d gone to any real effort. I’d just wanted to look nice.

‘You’ve met someone, haven’t you?’ Matt asked, a grin spreading across his face. ‘You have! You’ve met someone! That’s why you haven’t wanted to hang around with me, Gary and Jake. Good for you, Sis! I knew this holiday would do you good; it’s just what you need. A little bit of fun.’

I turned away from the mirror and leant back against the dressing-table, noticing the almost relieved expression on my brother’s face. I couldn’t really lie to him, could I? It was quite obvious that I hadn’t got dressed up to go to dinner by myself, Matt had already sussed that. But, at the same time, he didn’t need to know too much about Zac either. Not yet. I didn’t want anything to spoil what I’d just found – another possible chance at a happiness I’d been convinced I’d never experience again.

‘Okay, yes, I’ve met someone,’ I sighed, trying not to let my smile get too big, trying not to let Matt see just how happy I really was.

‘I knew it!’ Matt whooped, before coming over and hugging me tight, swinging me round. ‘Believe me, Jess, it’s just what you need. After all this time… So, who is it then? You said you’d met someone – Mikku? That was his name, wasn’t it? A Sami guy?’

I shook my head, resuming my hunt for the green eye shadow, breathing an inner sigh of relief as I found it nestled underneath a compact of pressed powder. ‘It isn’t him. He’s just a friend.’

‘So… who are you having dinner with tonight, then?’ Matt asked, watching me as I tried to apply the eye shadow, my hand shaking slightly. ‘And where did you meet him?’

‘Jesus, Matt, can we quit with the brotherly interrogation please? I’m not some teenager about to embark on her first date, I’m a grown-up, remember?’

‘I’m only concerned, Jess. Like any brother would be, especially after everything you’ve been through.’

I closed the eye shadow compact and put it into my make-up bag, turning to look at him, smiling. ‘I know, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just a bit nervous, y’know? It’s been a long time since… since I did anything like this. Oh, and by the way, don’t you dare tell Mum I’ve met someone, okay? Not one word. It’s bad enough having you around trying to find out every last little bit of information without having her ringing up asking questions too. So keep this to yourself, alright?’

He held up his hands, leaning over to kiss me quickly on the cheek. ‘Alright. I hear you. Okay then, I’ll leave you to it. Where’s he taking you?’

I half-smiled as I opened the door, pushing him out of it. ‘Nice try, Matthew. I’ll see you later.’

I shut the door behind him and leant back against it, closing my eyes for a second as a warm shiver of excitement ran right through me. Excitement. Another feeling I hadn’t experienced for so long. But, here I was, all dressed up and excited to see what the night had in store. Excited to spend some more time with Zac – the man who’d given me back something I’d thought I’d lost forever. Hope.

*

Zac pushed his hands through his hair, roughing it up, shaking it out, and Tyler watched in amusement from the comfort of the sofa as his friend ran around like some nervous teenager, getting ready for what Tyler could only assume was one hot date.

‘Y’know, mate, I can almost forgive you for deserting me yesterday afternoon because watching you right now is classic entertainment as far as I’m concerned. She must be one amazing woman to have you in this state.’

‘What state?’ Zac asked, stopping what he was doing for a second to look at Tyler. ‘I’m not in a state.’

‘Yeah. You are. Look at you! It takes you ten minutes to get ready when you come out with me and the guys, but tonight you were in that shower for half an hour.’

Zac ignored him, turning back to check his reflection in the mirror. If truth be told he was nervous, but that was only to be expected, wasn’t it? This was all happening really quickly, but at the same time he didn’t want to waste time taking things too slow because he didn’t want to risk messing things up. Meeting Jessie, it was something he’d never thought would happen, not after Evie. After Evie he hadn’t thought he’d ever feel this way again, but the fact that he did, and that Jessie seemed to feel the same way too, that was something he couldn’t ignore. Fate. Four letters that could change everything.

‘So, this mystery woman you’re meeting, then?’ Tyler went on, jumping up off the sofa. ‘She must be something really special. To have you running around like this.’

‘She is,’ Zac said quietly, staring at his own reflection for a few seconds, remembering everything that had gone on in the past, all those things that had helped seal his decision to come here to Lapland. Because he hadn’t just come here to ski, he’d come here to find something – and now he was sure he’d found it. ‘She really is.’

‘Do I get to meet her then?’ Tyler asked, cracking open a can of beer.

Zac turned around, grabbing his jacket from the back of a dining chair. ‘Come on, Tyler. It’s a bit soon for all that. I mean, I haven’t even had a chance to get to know her myself yet, have I?’

But even as Zac said that he knew, deep down inside, that he already knew everything he needed to know about her. He already knew.

*

The taxi dropped me off close to the restaurant in town, so I only had a few metres to trudge through the snow, the still-rising excitement I was feeling at the thought of seeing Zac again making me forget how cold it was.

Pushing open the double, glass-fronted doors of the restaurant I was hit with a wall of warmth as I stepped inside and stopped for a second, whipping off my hat and shaking out my hair as a smiling maitre d’ approached.

‘Let me take those for you,’ he said, relieving me of my outdoor wear, which was a relief. The sudden temperature changes you experienced in Lapland still took some getting used to – out in the freezing cold one minute, ensconced in the cosy warmth of a beautiful little restaurant the next. ‘We have a cloakroom, just over there, where you can collect your things when you leave.’

‘Thank you,’ I replied, surreptitiously scanning the room to see if I could spot him.

‘Are you meeting someone?’ the maitre d’ asked.

I obviously hadn’t been quite as surreptitious as I thought I’d been.

‘Erm, yes. I am. But I don’t think he’s here yet.’

‘You can wait by the bar,’ he smiled. ‘We have a seating area just over here, in front of the fire.’

‘Thank you, again.’ I walked over to a group of chocolate-brown and cream sofas dotted with red and silver cushions, a large, beautifully decorated Christmas tree taking centre stage by the window in the corner of the cosy seating area. As I sat down, sinking back against the soft cushions, an instant feeling of relaxation swept right over me and I closed my eyes for just a second, letting the events of the past few days sink in. For the past year I’d locked myself away almost, leaving the house only to go to the shop or to visit mum and dad, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything else because nothing felt right without Jase. We’d done everything together for over ten years, so doing anything without him just hadn’t felt right. And I hadn’t wanted to share things with anyone else, hadn’t wanted to dim the memories of our time together with new memories of someone else. But with Zac, things were different. With Zac, those memories would never be dimmed; they’d only be added to because, with Zac, there came hope. Hope that I could have another chance at happiness. And that was giving me the strength I needed to start living again. It had made me feel as though a lead weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Even though the guilt at betraying Jase still lingered, there in the back of my mind.

‘You look deep in thought.’

I opened my eyes and saw him, standing there. And even though it had only been a day since we’d shared a hot chocolate in Café Aurora, the sight of him took my breath away.

‘These sofas are just a little bit too comfortable,’ I smiled, standing up as he walked over to me, gently kissing me on both cheeks, and the second his lips touched my skin a shiver shot right through me and it was all I could do not to gasp out loud.

‘It’s so good to see you again,’ Zac whispered, shoving his hands in his pockets, glancing down at the floor briefly before lifting his head back up, his eyes meeting mine.

‘Yeah. It’s good to see you too,’ I said quietly, a sudden feeling of nervousness – awkwardness, almost – filling that small seating area with the magical Christmas tree and the fairy lights hanging in the window.

Zac shuffled from foot to foot, his hands still stuffed deep in his pockets. ‘I’ll go get us some drinks,’ he said, breaking the sudden silence that had descended over us. ‘Red wine? Or… would you prefer white?’

‘Red would be… red would be great, thanks.’

I sat back down, leaning back against those incredibly comfortable cushions as I watched him walk over to the bar. The sudden air of awkwardness bothered me slightly because, yesterday, in Café Aurora, I’d thought we’d moved past that, thought we’d managed to overcome – bypass, even – those initial shy moments that sometimes happen in the very early stages of a relationship. Was that what was happening here? Were we in the early stages of a new relationship? I hadn’t felt uncomfortable with him when we’d shared that hot chocolate, so why did I feel ridiculously shy around him now? Had I felt that way when I’d first met Jase? I couldn’t remember. I turned away from watching Zac at the bar and looked out of the huge picture window, focusing on the Christmas lights and the snow and the people in the restaurant opposite as they sat eating and chatting and laughing, probably looking forward to the celebrations that were almost upon us.

Letting my mind wander for a second I thought about how Christmas used to be, when Jase was here. How we’d always put the tree up in early December so we could make the most of it, because we’d both loved the build-up to Christmas Day almost as much as the day itself. We’d fill the house with old-school decorations, paper chains and hanging lanterns made out of that foil stuff that’d been the norm back in our childhood days of the 70s. We may not have had any kids but we’d both been big kids ourselves when it had come to the festive period, writing present lists that we’d leave lying about in the hope that the other would see it, baking Christmas cookies and mince pies to serve at our regular run of parties we’d hold most weekends leading up to the big day. Christmas had been all about making sure the house was filled with the smell of mulled wine, filled with people popping round to share our love of this special time of the year. Christmas had always been our time. Of course, we’d spend Christmas Day itself with both our families, but after tea we’d always end up back at our cosy little home in front of a roaring fire where we’d sit and cuddle while watching Christmas-night TV, sipping yet more mulled wine and eating chocolates. We never did anything extravagant; there was never any great amount of money spent, because we’d just never had it. Although, we’d saved up for so long for our trip to this beautiful place; that dream trip to Lapland that we should have taken this time last year. Having each other was all that had mattered, so to lose him in the way that I had, it’d killed Christmas for me. Until now. Until I’d come here, to this wonderful little town in the Arctic Circle. A town we should have visited together. It had an almost magical feel about it, and I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever want to leave.

Squinting slightly as I watched a group of people walk past the restaurant, a figure behind them, walking alone, caught my eye. Was that Mikku? Dressed all in black and with his hands buried deep in the pockets of his jacket, nobody else seemed to give him a second look as he trudged through the snow. And then he stopped, very briefly, looking up to meet my eyes and once more that intensity he seemed to carry in his stare held my gaze – even through the glass – until he smiled, and the spell was broken. Then he carried on walking, the crowd he’d been following now long gone, running off ahead into the night. I wondered where Mikku was off to but as I craned my neck, trying to see where he’d gone, I couldn’t see him anywhere. He’d disappeared, but that stare stayed with me, and as I watched Zac as he returned from the bar, carrying a large glass of red wine for me and a bottle of lager for him, I felt a rush of calm wash over me again, the shyness that had made a brief appearance before suddenly dissipating.

‘Everything okay?’ Zac smiled, sitting down next to me, handing me my glass of wine.

I took a small sip, looking right at him, smiling too. ‘Everything’s fine,’ I said quietly, my eyes still staring deep into his. ‘Everything’s just fine.’

*

‘Have you ever ridden a snowmobile?’ Zac asked as we made the short walk from the restaurant back over to my hotel.

I shook my head. ‘I’ve ridden pillion on a motorbike. They’re quite similar, aren’t they?’

He smiled, his hands in his pockets as we walked. ‘Sort of, yes.’ He stopped walking and turned to face me. ‘Come with me, tomorrow. There’s a snowmobiling trip through the forests, I’ve done it before and the scenery is spectacular but… but to share it with someone else, that… that would just be amazing. And I know you’d love it.’

I couldn’t help smiling at his genuine enthusiasm, his excitement almost infectious. ‘I don’t know, Zac,’ I laughed, trying not to let the whole situation overwhelm me. Everything seemed to be happening at breakneck speed and even though dinner had been lovely, and Zac had been the most charming, funny and attentive man, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from comparing him to Jase once or twice over the course of the night. It hadn’t been intentional, but it couldn’t be helped. Would it hurt to spend a day or so apart just to get my head around all of this?

‘Jessie, listen,’ Zac began, reaching out to take my hand, even though the only thing either of us could feel were our gloves. ‘You only have a couple of days left here in Lapland and I don’t know what’s happening, I really don’t, but I just need to spend some more time with you and I don’t care if that sounds desperate or sad or… I don’t care, okay? Because you have brought something into my life that I never thought I’d have again and it’s crazy and sudden and I can’t really get my head around any of it but… but the second I saw you, at The Ice Tree that afternoon, I don’t know, I can’t really explain it because it sounds so crazy but… but it was like something was drawing me to you. It was like there was some invisible force pulling me towards you, telling me I had to find you, I had to talk to you and… Jesus, does that sound as crazy as I think it does?’

I couldn’t help smiling as I looked at him, his eyes confused, filled with questions I wasn’t sure I could answer because I was just as confused as he was. ‘No. Not really.’

‘Come with me tomorrow, Jess. Please.’

I gripped his hand as best I could through the thick material of my thermal gloves. ‘Okay. I’ll come.’

His smile was one of relief, his face lighting up as I said yes and a sudden whirl of excitement filled my head, making me feel slightly dizzy, so much so I had to quickly grab onto him to keep upright.

‘Whoa, you okay?’

I looked down at the snowy ground for a second, trying to compose myself before I looked at him again, the glow of the myriad fairy lights that lit up the streets of this wonderful little town making everything seem ethereal and magical. ‘I’m fine,’ I whispered, neither of us saying anything more as snow started falling lightly from the sky, the sound of more people leaving the bars and restaurants around us fading into the background as his mouth moved closer to mine, my eyes closing. I could feel his breath warm on my cold cheek, my heart beating faster and faster, a million and one conflicting emotions jostling for space inside my head until they were silenced by the most beautiful kiss. A kiss so soft and gentle it made my eyes fill with tears as I remembered the way Jase had kissed me and I never wanted to forget that, despite this kiss feeling oh so different. And I found myself kissing him back, wanting to feel him close to me but that was practically impossible given the amount of layers we were wearing.

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered, pulling away slightly. ‘Maybe it’s too soon but…’

‘No,’ I smiled, shaking my head, looking up at the sky as the snow started falling heavier and thicker, covering the ground around us with a fresh, crisp layer. ‘No. It’s not too soon.’

‘I don’t know where we go from here,’ he said quietly, his hands returning to his jacket pockets as he watched the snow as it covered our feet.

‘We go snowmobiling, don’t we?’ I replied, willing him to look up, to look at me. Just so I could be sure this was okay. Be sure this was right.

‘Yeah,’ he smiled, a smile which sent my heart racing and my stomach flipping as long-forgotten feelings started making their reappearance with a vengeance. ‘Yeah. I guess we do.’