Читать книгу Dad's Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies - Sharon Perkins - Страница 15

Even men who’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded by positive male role models find themselves doubting whether they have what it takes to be a dad. It’s like the fear of starting a new job amplified by 100. Part of being a good father is taking the time to confront these fears so that when baby comes, you don’t parent with fear. Following are some of the common fear-based questions men ask themselves in regard to fatherhood:

 Am I ready to give up my present life (free time, flexibility, freedom) to be a dad?

 Will I have time for my pastimes and friends?

 Will I ever sleep again?

 Is this the end of my marriage and sex life as I know it?

 Do we have enough money to raise a child?

 Do I know enough about kids to be a good dad?

 Am I mature enough to be a good role model for my child?

 What if the baby comes and I don’t love him?

Your head may be spinning with all the questions you ask yourself, and although you can’t answer them all right away, you need to address them at some point. However, plenty of men have felt unprepared and unwilling to become fathers and turned out to be great dads, so don’t despair if your initial answers to the preceding questions are mostly negative.

Parenthood involves a lot of sacrifice, but it doesn’t have to sound the death knell for your identity or happiness. Talk with your partner, a trusted friend, or a therapist — anyone who will listen to you and support your concerns without getting defensive — about the questions you have. You’ll find that some of your fears have no basis in reality and that others — such as the fear of losing yourself and your free time — require you to reprioritize your time and energy.

Regardless of what your fears may be, don’t let them fester. No man is an island, and you can’t effectively deal with all those emotions by yourself. Starting an open dialogue with your partner keeps you both on the same page, which is a good start toward making you two an effective parenting duo.