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1. Positive Talks are Tall Talks.

The things you don’t speak out, buried deep within, is the voice of your inner mind and that’s where self-talk takes place. In the British series Sherlock Holmes, it is called the “mind palace,” and that’s exactly what self-talk is. Self-talks are the things you tell yourself mentally. It’s that voice that analyzes your performance and interactions with others around you. If your self-talk does not revolve around positive talks, your self-worth suffers. It is something we do without paying attention, and that’s why we end up falling under its control if we refuse to acknowledge its power over our lives and choices. These self-talks can have pragmatic influences on how we feel about ourselves.

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. — Hans Selye

Most of us are in an unending mental babble. We converse with ourselves all day long, and unfortunately, our self-talks are recurrently negative. It is often toxic and harmful to the actions we take because a large fragment of our past winds up in them, and this often makes us anxious about the future.

The effect of self-talks can be good or bad, depending on whether they are negative or positive. They have a great impact on our confidence. They either act as fuel, constantly kindling its flames or fanning them. Actions are inspired by thoughts. To change the mode of our thinking is the first, and most definite step to take for there to be a change in the actions we take. It is an inherent nature of humans to pursue individual growth—be it monetarily, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. Putting constructive self-talks into practice aids us in setting in motion actions that fetch us larger rewards.

How does one cultivate the act of positive self-talks?

Studies on positive thinking have shown that people who think positively have superior stress-coping skills, a tougher and stronger immunity, and a lower risk for heart-related diseases. While positive thinking is not a health solution or alternative to drugs and medication, ruminating on negative thoughts cannot benefit your overall mental well-being in any way as taking an optimistic view would. Changing the direction of our thoughts is not as hard as it sounds. It takes effort, just like every other thing we grew up learning. There was a time when, as toddlers, eating properly with cutlery was a chore. Then came more challenging activities like learning to walk and learning how to write. With persistence, these things became a larger part of us, and we got better at them, and we don’t need to activate a consciousness to use the skills we got from those early years of difficulty. The same goes for positive self-talks. It requires an effort from us which we must painstakingly be committed to doing and carrying out.

Here are three things we can do to imbibe the culture of positive self-talks:

 Pay attention to your inner voice.Taking time each day to listen, write down, and meditate what we’re thinking should be a daily ritual we adopt, as it is an integral part of the positive self-talk process.It is imperative for us to notice what our inner voice is saying because taking a conscious note of the things we say in our minds is the first step in improving our self-talks.

 Engage your self-talk. Engaging our self-talks to probe its intent can help shape and hone our perspective to seeing the positive in all things. The age-old “half-empty or half-full” glass question can tell you a great deal about your outlook on life, your attitude toward self, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic.I would even suggest choosing your words carefully. When you tell yourself, something is "difficult" or "unfair," it will probably become a drag to have to deal with it. Instead, tell yourself it's a "challenge" or a "test."We should constantly endeavor to ask ourselves things like:• Is this a positive way of looking at this?• Is everything in perspective?• What can I do to change what I’m feeling bad about?

 Change your self-talk. Counter your negative thoughts with positive ones. It is not as easy as it sounds, but persistence will make it a part of you. It is widely accepted that it takes twenty-one days for us to learn anything, and Josh Kaufman has proved in his TED TALK that it takes twenty hours for anything to be learned. It’s better to ask yourself if there’s anything that will aid you to do any task that appears difficult than resign to the easy way out, which is saying, “I’d never be able to do this.”

According to Carol S. Dweck, speaking with a fixed mindset inhibits progress and creativity. There are words that put a positive spin on hard-hitting situations; those are words you should always use.