Читать книгу Summary: Amour – Amour – Amour. La puissance de l’acceptation. Lise Bourbeau - Smart Reading, Ольга Ганкова - Страница 2

We call a great variety of relationships love, though they are not really love.

1. Pity and devotion, which are more often the result of a sense of duty, guilt or fear rather than love.

2. Passion and expressiveness. In such a relationship, one feels good only when the object of his or her passion is nearby. To achieve this, one tries to control the behavior of the other. One cannot accept that the other person is independent and self-sufficient. Such uncontrollable passion can ruin both people’s lives.

In addition, if one always looks for passion, it is impossible for him or her to get enough of it. In long-term relationships, it gradually subsides, and if one begins to look for new objects of passion, new partners, he or she destroys the connection with those who are nearby.

3. Strong affection, when one cannot be happy if his or her loved one is unhappy. As a result, striving to be happy, one tries to make the other person happy first (the one on whom his or her own state depends). That means that one partner imposes his or her will on the other partner and gets possessive.

Have the ability to be happy even when your loved ones are unhappy may seem selfish. But by giving up our happiness, we do not make others happier, we only become unhappy ourselves.

Real selfishness is manifested in something else. Selfishness is wishing that other people first care for your needs before looking after their own and believing that someone else, and not you, is responsible for your happiness.

By accepting that you (and not other people) must take care of yourself means that you recognize the same right and duty for other people. Nobody can make another person happy. Only people can make themselves happy. Happiness, like unhappiness, is one’s personal attitude toward what is happening in his or her life. It comes from within rather that from the outside.

It is difficult to agree with this, but the basis of unconditional love is the ability to let your loved one just be and to accept everything that happens to him or her, including misfortune.