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Reason to Study Negotiation #3: Negotiate or Others Will Take Advantage of You

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days where you would need to know how to fight off a band of raiders who seeks to plunder your farm, today you need to know how to negotiate to protect your position in life and business.

In my life I have had two parts (1) Life before studying negotiation in which I had a very hard time making my way in the world and (2) Life after studying negotiation in which I began to see success in my life and in business.

What stops the average man from becoming a good negotiator to protect his interests?

(1.) Cultural Constraints—If you are reading this book, chances are you come from a culture that is conditioned to avoid confrontation and negotiation at all costs. Where Canadians and Americans are conditioned to pay the full sticker price for everything, Mexican and Chinese negotiators are conditioned to assert their interests and get what they want. Negotiation is either acceptable in your culture or frowned upon.

(2.) Low Self-Esteem or Low Aspirations—Along with cultural constraints that prevent many people from negotiating, is the result of further conditioning for most people to have a low self-esteem and set low aspirations for themselves. Studies have shown that most people, no matter how great or poorly they perform in a negotiation, always believe they did the best that they could have. The average man will set his aspiration level low provided there is no outside force telling him to raise his aspiration level. This is why many successful athletes, and entrepreneurs have coaches—to raise their aspiration level.

(3.) Fear of Hurting Other’s Feelings—Most human beings have a need to be liked and care deeply about what others think of them. Negotiation, when you must assert your position on someone else, could make you or the other side very uncomfortable. We are raised and trained to be “nice” people in the Western world, and even professional real estate agents who derive their entire living from negotiating are hesitant to write low offers on properties for fear of hurting other’s feelings and consequently, their own reputations.

(4.) Unawareness of the Process of Negotiation—Many people who know they must negotiate may be oblivious to the process and systematic