Читать книгу The Complete Parenting Collection - Steve Biddulph, Steve Biddulph - Страница 63

In 2006 an incredible discovery was made: namely, the existence in the body of mirror neurons. These are a network of nerve cells that run alongside our motor nerves, and they have a unique role. They mirror, or imitate, everything we watch. So if we watch ballet, or football, or someone having a passionate kiss, our mirror neurons practise this action. The mirror actions are stored in our brain, ready to make it easier to copy what we’ve seen. (So every couch potato really does have an inner athlete, or rock star, or red-hot lover eagerly trying to get out!) This, we now know, is the reason that we can learn skills as fast as we do. But it’s a two-edged sword, because it means that everything kids see, they take into their brains and are inclined to repeat. The ramifications of this are huge.

This certainly impacts on what we might allow children to watch on TV and in computer games, and it underlines the importance of not depicting violence or violent sex in the media. But it especially impacts on how we behave around our kids. If children see us always being grumpy, self-pitying, sneaky, lying and cheating, vicious or mean, they become that. They take in our actions, but also our moods and outlook. Many a man has been horrified to notice he has the same gestures, movements or expressions that his father used to have. Or he comes out with words or sayings that his old man used to use. Psychologists hear this all the time in their consulting room: ‘I hate the guy, and now I am turning out just like him’. This is not genetic, it’s ‘mirror learning’. It’s a good reason to really work on how you act around your kids.