Читать книгу Blaikie’s Guide to Modern Manners - Thomas Blaikie - Страница 16

An innocent walk down the street can turn into a nightmare when somebody you’re sure you’ve never seen before claims to know you. This happens frequently to Matt. At one time he was frightened to go out of his office at lunch-time. Or you might vaguely recognise the person trying to speak to you, but that’s about it.

 If you have no recollection whatsoever of the person, you’re going to have to grin and bear it. All being well, the stranger before you will have given you a handle, however fragile – the names of your mutual acquaintances, perhaps – to cling on to.

 Don’t say, ‘I’m afraid I can’t remember your name.’ People don’t like being forgotten. It is a kindness to conceal your ignorance – even where it is obvious, with nothing being said, that the other person knows that you haven’t the first idea who they are. As Quentin Crisp put it, ‘Most people would rather be treated courteously than be told the truth.’

 If you are the forgotten one, don’t say, ‘You don’t remember me, do you?’ because however you say it it will sound like a criticism.

 Being embarrassed about being embarrassed is imprisoning. Liberate yourself with low expectations. Reconcile yourself to awkwardness from the start to the finish of these chance encounters.

 There ought to be some ungainly banter. ‘Hi, how are you?’ isn’t enough. Revel in the ghastliness. Expect nothing more than clichés and discomfort. Alternatives might well be condemned as ‘slick’ and ‘artificial’, anyway. Don’t forget that there’s always the chance of something better…romance, perhaps.

 It is perfectly all right for one of you to take the initiative in saying goodbye, but a tendency is creeping in for this to be done in a practised and ‘professional’ manner – more a matter of tone than what is said. It is best if you can remain as bumbling and ill at ease as possible. Ideally, there should be several attempts to part, with conversation spluttering to life again in between.