Читать книгу Blaikie’s Guide to Modern Manners - Thomas Blaikie - Страница 7

In public places there are two sorts: ones who are unaccompanied, ones who aren’t. Neither are quite as they should be. ‘I was in the newsagents only last week,’ says Mrs Gibbs. ‘Two little boys, both under ten, rushed in making an awful noise, barged in front of me and shouted at the shopkeeper, “Give us some chewing gum.” I wasn’t going to stand there doing nothing, I can tell you. I said, “Stop that racket, wait in the queue, if you wouldn’t mind, and when it’s your turn you might try ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’.” The shopkeeper and the one other customer in the shop were horrified. “You ought to watch out,” they said, “they might have had a gun.” I couldn’t believe it. What nonsense! Three adults in the shop and two little boys and the only person who wasn’t afraid of them an old woman of eighty-five!’

At the airport, setting out with a party of ten for a villa holiday in Majorca, Zoe Miller, 25, just starting out in PR and a graduate of the University of Kent (one of those subjects that are hard to explain), was fed up with ‘all these parents who seemed to think the departure lounge was just a big play-pen for their children. One of the fathers was making the most noise, pretending to be a roller-coaster or something.’ Zoe is rather against children in general, which Mrs Gibbs isn’t. But perhaps Zoe has a point. It probably wasn’t just thoughtlessness either. Many parents now like to make a conspicuous parade of their parenting and what better opportunity than the departure lounge?

Did she do anything about it? She is shocked. ‘Oh, no. That wouldn’t be right, would it? I’m not a busybody. It’s just my personal opinion that they’re annoying.’

Zoe’s not thinking straight. She’s being too nice. It isn’t ‘just my personal opinion’. She’s got a fair point. A public space is a public space. It isn’t for one special interest group to take over.

 If unaccompanied children are behaving inconsiderately in public – making a lot of noise, dropping litter, barging queues – intervene if it is safe to do so and you are likely to get somewhere, in other words if there is a majority of adults present.

 Speak firmly but politely.

 Most children, even ‘well-brought-up’ ones, will take advantage if they sense that adults are afraid of them.

 Most ‘antisocial behaviour’ is perpetrated by children and teenagers. If adults won’t step in to put a stop to minor outbreaks it isn’t very surprising that some young people will graduate to more advanced forms.

 Parents of small children: it may be difficult to keep your offspring amused, especially if waiting in a public place, but try to show consideration for others. Once, at a rather serious concert, I sat in front of a child who had been supplied with a rattly teddy to keep her occupied for the duration.

 You’re more likely to get people’s backs up if your underlying attitude seems to be that your child has a right to rampage about. If you are apologetic and make some attempt to restrain, you will get a more indulgent response.

 If you are exasperated by unfettered children (e.g. strange child actually crawling over you in a café; mother looking on waiting for you to coo admiration) you’re going to have to say something. Don’t be relativist; don’t think, ‘Who am I to tell others what to do?’ Stand up for what you believe in!