Читать книгу Tufti the Priestess. Live Stroll Through a Movie - Вадим Зеланд - Страница 6

And so, my dear ones, let’s repeat what we’ve covered so far.

• In your usual state of consciousness, you are characters in a film.

• If your attention is not your own, your soul is not your own.

• You are directed by an external script, which wires you into the film.

I use these terms so that it will be more accessible for you, because in sleeping and waking life, you do pretty much the same thing: you watch the film and take part in it as a character with a set role, without the right to spontaneous behaviour.

If you still doubt that your actions are bound rather than autonomous, look at your attention – where was it just now? To whom did it belong? Not to you, do you see? Then to whom and for what?

To the very same script. You, or rather, your Self is your attention. If you do not control yourself, the script directs you, whether when you are sleeping, or in waking life; it’s the same either way. A dream is the same as reality and reality is the same as a dream. Let’s say that life is a waking dream, and an ordinary dream is a sleeping dream.

A dream can be conscious or non-conscious. In the unconscious dream, you are as stupid and helpless as little bunnies. But take control of your attention, and you come alive in the film, acquiring the ability to act wilfully, as you see fit.

You become a responsible, sane character who can freely roam around in the dream. You have already tried it in waking life. With time, you will learn to do the same in your sleep.

However, it is much more important to have this ability in waking life because even though the film of sleep has a real film roll in the Eternity archive, it is still virtual. Life, on the other hand, is real. In life, you either helplessly kick your legs about in someone else’s script or you implement your own.

The only thing stopping you from doing this is your habit of falling into the inner and outer screen. Your attention won’t stay long in the centre of awareness. This is quite normal for you. But what can you do, ugly fit-for-nothings that you are. You need to develop the new habit of returning your attention to the centre.

Setting out for a stroll through the dream, tell yourself that you won’t forget that you must wake up. Literally set yourself this goal, otherwise it will completely slip your mind that you are meant to be focusing on something. If you are lazy and forgetful, you won’t learn anything.

Whilst on your walk, you will need to catch yourself as you constantly fall and drift off. Don’t worry, don’t give up, just bring your attention back, over and over again. Arrange to track your attention with your attention itself – that is, yourself.

There is no need to try and hold your attention at the centre all the time without taking a break. The meaning and value of this exercise lie in something else: your ability to respond to what is happening. Usually, any event, even the most inconsequential, draws you into the outer film or into your inner concerns. Whatever the situation, it lulls you into sleep.

Now you need to develop the reverse habit – not to fall asleep but to wake up. Any event, even the slightest whiff of your environment should put you on your guard. Take it as a signal to awaken. Likewise, any action you take should remind you that you need to check your focus of attention.

You have two triggers for this.

Outer – as soon as something happens, you wake up.

And inner – before you do something, you wake up.

Examples of external triggers: you met with someone, someone asked you something, something happened close to you, it doesn’t matter what, some kind of sound, any kind of movement, anything that previously attracted and engaged you. As soon as something happens, focus your attention on it, but don’t lose control of your attention – keep it at the centre.

Examples of internal triggers: you’re getting ready to go somewhere, to do something, to talk to someone. Before you take any action at all, bring your attention to the centre. Specifically before, because afterwards it will be too late; you will simply discover that you fell asleep, then woke up to remember that you were sleeping.

All this can only be learned through frequent repetition like in the martial arts. There is no other way. On the other hand, when you learn to control the focus of your attention, you will be able to control your piffling life. And then, perhaps, your life will stop being so piffling.

For now, I give you a warning. You have woken up in a dream, acquired strength and awareness, while those around you continue to sleep. Do not think this advantage makes you superior. Don’t treat others with arrogance or condescension. This prerogative belongs solely to me because I am Tufti, your priestess, and you are my subjects who must listen to me – and admire me unstintingly. Do you? Look at me!