Читать книгу The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe - Various - Страница 86

"WHEREAS, a dead gentleman, surname unknown,

Has been recently found at his Highness's banquet,

Rather shabbily dressed in an Amice, or gown

In appearance resembling a second-hand blanket;

"And WHEREAS, there's great reason indeed to suspect

That some ill-disposed person, or persons, with malice

Aforethought, have kill'd, and begun to dissect

The said Gentleman, not far from this palace.

"THIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE!—Whoever shall seize;

And such person or persons, to justice surrender,

Shall receive—such REWARD—as his Highness shall please,

On conviction of him, the aforesaid offender.

"And, in order the matter more clearly to trace

To the bottom, his Highness, the Prince Bishop, further,

Of his clemency, offers free PARDON and Grace

To all such as have NOT been concern'd in the murther.

"Done this day, at onr palace—July twenty-five—

By command,

(Signed)

Johann Von Russell,

N.B.

Deceased rather in years—had a squint when alive;

And smells slightly of gin—linen marked with a G."

The Newspapers, too, made no little ado,

Though a different version each managed to dish up;

Some said "The Prince Bishop had run a man through,"

Others said "an assassin had kill'd the Prince Bishop."

The "Ghent Herald" fell foul of the "Bruxelles Gazette,"

The "Bruxelles Gazette," with much sneering ironical,

Scorn'd to remain in the "Ghent Herald's" debt,

And the "Amsterdam Times" quizz'd the "Nuremberg Chronicle."

In one thing, indeed, all the journals agreed,

Spite of "politics," "bias," or "party collision;"

Viz.: to "give," when they'd "further accounts" of the deed,

"Full particulars" soon, in "a later Edition."

But now, while on all sides they rode and they ran,

Trying all sorts of means to discover the caitiffs,

Losing patience, the holy Gengulphus began

To think it high time to "astonish the natives."

First, a Rittmeister's Frau, who was weak in both eyes,

And supposed the most short-sighted woman in Holland,

Found greater relief, to her joy and surprise,

From one glimpse of his "squint" than from glasses by Dollond.

By the slightest approach to the tip of his Nose,

Meagrims, headache, and vapors were put to the rout;

And one single touch of his precious Great Toes

Was a certain specific for chillblains and gout.