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A couple was planning on getting married. Seeing how they didn't have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided to just go back to their new apartment after the wedding.

The groom had three close friends, that were prone to committing practical jokes. One being a carpenter, the other an ordinary guy, and the third a dentist.

They all decided to pull practical jokes on their newly married friends. The carpenter decided he would cut the slats in the bed so that when they climbed into bed, the bed would collapse. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed, so that when they got into it their feet wouldn't reach the bottom. The dentist chuckled and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do.

A week later the three friends all received letters in the mail.

«Dear friends, we didn't mind the fact that when we got into bed, the bed collapsed, or the guy that short-sheeted it, but I'm gonna kill the bastard that put the novacaine in the vaseline!»

Study the words and expressions given below:

groom жених

to commit совершать, устраивать

carpenter плотник

ordinary обычный

guy парень

dentist дантист

slat перекладина

to collapse падать, рушиться

bottom низ

to chuckle хихикать

to mind возражать, иметь что-либо против

bastard ублюдок

novacaine новокаин

vaseline вазелин

to plan on doing sth планировать сделать что-л.

to be prone to doing sth иметь склонность к чему-л.

close friend близкий друг

practical joke розыгрыш

to pull a joke on sb подшутить над кем-л.

newly married молодожены

to short-sheet подвернуть простыню под матрац

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. Why did the couple decide to just go back to their new apartment after the wedding?

2. What were the groom's close friends prone to committing?

3. What were they?

4. How did the carpenter decide to make fun of the newly married couple?

5. What did the ordinary guy decide to do?

6. Why didn't the dentist say what he was going to do?

7. How long did it take the newly married couple to write letters to their friends?

8. What was the young husband going to do with the dentist?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. A couple was planning on _______ married.

2. They decided to _______ go back to their new apartment.

3. The groom had three _______ friends.

4. They were prone to _______ practical jokes.

5. They decided to _______ a practical joke on their friends.

6. The carpenter decided he _______ cut the slats.

7. The bed would _______.

8. Their feet didn't _______ the bottom.

3. Say if the sentences are true of false:

1. They decided to just go to Italy after the wedding.

2. The groom had three close friends.

3. The carpenter decided he would put the novacaine in the vaseline.

4. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed.

5. The dentist chuckled and told he would pull the bride's teeth out.

6. A week later the three friends all received telegrams.

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Парочка собиралась пожениться.

2. У жениха было трое близких друзей.

3. Они имели склонность к розыгрышам.

4. Плотник решил, что он подрубит перекладины на постели.

5. Дантист усмехнулся и никому не захотел сказать, что он собирается сделать.

6. Я убью ублюдка!

Revise English grammar

В предложении The carpenter decided he would cut the slats… используется не встречающаяся в русском языке временная форма глагола – будущее-в-прошедшем время. Она образуется при помощи вспомогательного глагола would.

Этот же глагол – в другом значении – используется в предложении The dentist chuckled and wouldn't tell anyone what he planned to do…

Проверьте, насколько хорошо вы владеете этой формой глагола, при необходимости обращаясь к грамматическому комментарию (разделы 10, 11).

6. Fill in the blanks with appropriate forms of the verbs:

1. As the young couple didn't have much money to go on a honeymoon, they decided that they (to go back) _______ to their new apartment after the wedding.

2. The groom's close friends thought that they (to act) _______ wisely if they (to commit) _______ some practical jokes on their newly married friends.

3. The carpenter decided he (to cut) _______ the slats.

4. They thought that when the couple (to climb) _______ into bed, the bed (to collapse) _______.

5. The ordinary guy decided to short-sheet the bed, so that their feet (not to reach) _______ the bottom.

6. The dentist chuckled and (not to tell) _______ anyone what he planned to do.

7. Find English equivalents to the Russian words in the scanword:

1. (с…) совершать, 2. (с…) падать, 3. (m…) женатый, 4. (с…) признание, 5. (с…) пара, 6. (b…) дыхание, 7. (с…) мужество, 8. (1…) удачливый, 9. (r…) осознавать, 10. (1…) грузить.

8. Render the joke.