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A burglar had broken into a house late at night, in total darkness. He was working his way through the house making no noise when he heard a voice. He stopped and listened for a while and heard nothing. He continued his journey through the rooms looking for the one with all the «goodies» when he heard a voice again. This time he could faintly understand it. The voice said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.»

This made the burglar just freeze, and he waited to see what would happen. Nothing, the burglar heard nothing for some time and resumed his search. Just then he heard the voice again, much louder this time, it said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.» This was puzzling to the burglar and he was about equally curious and scared, so he began working his way toward the voice. He entered another room and a voice in the room said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.»

This scared the hell out of the burglar, and he just stood there motionless for about five minutes and heard no further noises. He then felt around and found a light switch and turned it on. There was a large bird cage with a parrot sitting in it. The parrot looked at the burglar and said, «I see you and Jesus sees you.» The burglar just grinned and went to work filling his bag and left the light in the room on. He had his bag about half full when he turned to look at the parrot again, this time he noticed that a Doberman Pincher was lying under the table that the bird cage was on. The parrot stared at the burglar and then said, «Sick him, Jesus.»

Study the words and expressions given below:

burglar взломщик

total полный; полностью

"goodies" сленг добро

faint слабый

to freeze замораживаться, застывать

to resume возобновлять, приниматься снова

search поиск

to puzzle ставить в тупик

equal равный

curious любопытный

to scare пугать

motionless неподвижный

switch выключатель

parrot попугай

to grin усмехаться, ухмыляться

for a while в течение некоторого времени

to break into вломиться

to work one's way through (toward) прокладывать путь через (к)

to scare the hell out of sb чертовски испугать

to have sth about half full иметь что-л. наполненным наполовину

to feel around пощупать вокруг

Sick him! Взять! / Фас!

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. What did the burglar hear when he was working his way through the house?

2. What room was he looking for?

3. What did the voice say?

4. What did the burglar feel around for?

5. Who was sitting in the cage?

6. Who was lying under the table that the bird cage was on?

7. What do you think happened to the burglar after the parrot had ordered the Pincher to do his stuff?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. He waited to see what ______ happen.

2. The burglar heard nothing and ______ his search.

3. This was ______ to the burglar and he was about ______ curious and scared.

4. He began ______ his way toward the voice.

5. This scared ______ out of the burglar.

6. He ______ around and found ______ and turned it on.

7. The parrot looked at the burglar and said, «I see you and ______ sees you.»

3. Match the two parts of each sentence:

4. Match the words and expressions in the left column to those in the right one:

5. Translate from Russian into English:

1. Взломщик вломился в дом поздно ночью, в полной темноте.

2. Он остановился и прислушивался некоторое время.

3. Он стал искать комнату со всем добром.

4. Он едва понял эти слова.

5. Это заставило взломщика просто застыть.

6. Он возобновил свои поиски.

7. Взломщик был в равной степени испуган и заинтригован.

Revise English Grammar

В предложении The burglar stood motionless for about five minutes and heard no further noises слова minutes и noises стоят в форме множественного числа. Они образованы путем прибавления окончания – s к основе слов minute минута и noise шум.

Слово goodies также стоит во множественном числе, но образовано оно от слова goody и, очевидно, по другим правилам. По каким?

Проверьте свои навыки образования формы множественного числа имен существительных (для справки см. грамматический комментарий, раздел 2, с. 240).

6. Put the words from the text into Plural form and read them according to the rules:

burglar

hell

journey

bird

house

minute

room

cage

night

noise

time

parrot

way

light

search

bag

voice

switch

puzzle

table

7. Render the joke.