Читать книгу Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 11

The life of a man in modern society seems to bear no resemblance to the life lived by this primitive ancestor. And yet, up until not very long ago, man was still hunting and killing the food for his family; he had to be ready to defend them physically in times of war.

Twentieth-century man doesn’t need to hunt or fight. The skills for which he has been trained and bred for centuries are no longer necessary. There are no battles; there is no enemy; there is no challenge. He is the “displaced warrior.”

Is it any wonder, then, that women voice the following complaints about the men in their lives?

“He always seems so defensive – no matter what I say, he seems ready for a fight.”

“He has such a hard time opening up and showing me his feelings – it’s as if he always has to look so strong.”

“I wish my husband would reach out to other men for friendship, but he can’t seem to get close to men.”

“Bob takes his work so seriously that it drives me crazy. I try to get him to lighten up about it, but he acts like it’s a matter of life and death whether he gets a report done today or tomorrow.”

“My boyfriend gets so angry when he feels he’s being criticized or mistreated or challenged by someone – he interprets any kind of disagreement as an attack, and he attacks back with sarcasm and by acting like a bully.”

“When my husband is upset about something, he just bottles it up inside. He becomes cold and distant, and it takes me days of nagging before he’ll admit what’s bothering him.”

I’m sure you can see the remnants of the hunter-warrior mentality in the attitudes and behavior of these twentieth-century men. They are still being affected by forces within themselves that they may be totally unaware of. One theory is that human beings have a “genetic memory,” some kind of consciousness passed down through the centuries that links an accountant living a quiet life in the suburbs with every relative he’s ever had, all the way back to his primitive relatives of thousands of years ago.

It’s as if men “remember” those primitive impulses to defend, to never show weakness, to always stay in control, and unconsciously act these out in their everyday lives