Читать книгу Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know - Barbara Angelis De - Страница 12

Several years ago I had an experience that absolutely convinced me that genetic memory must exist. At the time I was in a relationship with a man who was a teacher and a writer. Every time we’d go out for dinner, I’d notice something strange. We’d enter the restaurant, the waiter would show us to our table, and I would sit down in whatever chair the waiter held out for me. If my chair had its back to most of the restaurant, my partner would take the other chair. But if my chair was the one that offered a better view of the entire restaurant, my partner would look very uncomfortable and ask if we could switch seats. The first few times this occurred I didn’t mind, and changed seats with him. But one night I was in kind of a stubborn mood, and when he asked if he could sit in the chair against the wall that looked out over the whole restaurant, I said, “No, I want this chair. You always get the nice views, and can watch everybody. This time I want to sit here.”

My partner reluctantly agreed, and sat down in the chair opposite me with his back to the restaurant. We ordered our meal and I began talking about my day, and other light topics of conversation, when I noticed how uncomfortable he looked. He was literally squirming in his seat. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I just don’t like sitting here, I can’t relax,” he replied.

“I don’t understand – what’s so terrible about sitting in that chair?”

“I can’t see anything,” he explained, “and I feel funny having my back to the room like this – it makes me nervous.”

For the next half hour we analyzed the funny feeling my partner had about sitting with his back toward the room, and what we discovered surprised us both. Although this man had never thought about it before, he always made a point of sitting so he could see whatever room he was in, whether in a restaurant or at a party. Although his rational mind knew there was no actual threat of danger in these situations, he still did not feel safe with his back turned – it went against something very deep inside him to even think about sitting that way. It was as if he could hear a voice in his head warning, Watch out! Stay alert!

Now, this guy was not what you might consider a typically “macho” man – he was a gentle, scholarly person. He insisted that he’d never been trained to “sit defensively” by his father or by the army, and that until I’d pointed it out he’d never even been aware of what he was doing. We couldn’t come up with any other explanation than the genetic memory theory – he knew he shouldn’t turn his back to the “opening of the cave.”

Since that time I’ve made a point of asking men about their seating choices in restaurants, and the majority of them agree that they do feel more comfortable sitting so they can have a clear view of the room, and do not like sitting with their backs to it. You might want to do your own research on this for fun. (Of course, if you ever want to make a man uncomfortable on purpose, insist that he take the seat with its back to the room, and watch him squirm!)