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32

Conceit

Words are the tokens current and accepted for conceits, as moneys are for values.

FRANCIS BACON

1561–1626

CONCEIT IS AN EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT TRAIT. Arrogance of any kind is undesirable but self-love is repugnant in the extreme. It is totally different from loving and being comfortable with oneself. Conceit stems from such a lack of knowledge about oneself that the personality is tricked into thinking it is in some way exalted. Even worse, the individual also expects others to accept this image and to worship it.

I have met so many conceited people throughout my life that recognition of this condition is instant, and it takes only seconds for me to put distance between us. That might sound a little odd, but there are times when I have to share the same space at a function so the farther away I can stand from them, the better.

In many ways the condition is quite sad because these arrogant people crave recognition, and to encourage it they become poseurs. But the truth is that most of the time people avoid them like the plague. If you recognise yourself in this, read on.

Visualisation: You are standing in a room full of people. You are dressed more garishly than anyone else, and you are longing to be noticed. But the conversational groups are not opening up to let you in. In fact, they are ignoring you. You feel sad, angry and alone, not having received the recognition that you believe you deserve. A waiter offers you a drink.

‘Am I not the most interesting and talented person around?’ you ask him. ‘Why am I ignored?’

‘Talented you may be,’ he replies. ‘But not interesting, because you show no interest in others. You see, it is a two-way exchange. You do not play the game.’

Remember that the garishness and sadness that you have felt is the state of your mind. Do try to change. There is so much happiness around – seek it out and stop being conceited.

Affirmation: I want my life to be complete. I must rid myself of this conceit.