Читать книгу A Mind of Your Own - Betty Shine - Страница 43

36

Conversation

Tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

1803–1882

I LOVE THIS QUOTATION because it describes exactly that feeling of frustration you get when someone voices the thoughts you have had but have never expressed. It’s made worse if they then receive compliments on their perception.

Everyone has interesting thoughts but there are people who are shy and cannot open up a conversation, fearful that they might look or sound stupid. Don’t worry! If you have never been made to feel stupid then there is something radically wrong, because it shows a very sombre, staid and boring personality.

The art of good conversation is to open your mouth and talk. It really doesn’t matter what subject you begin with, just get in there and become part of the action. If someone has a pretty brooch on their dress, compliment them on their choice. If it is a man, admire his tie – even if you don’t like it, he does. Make him feel good about it. Compliments are great for bringing the feel-good factor into any gathering.

You may have a particular interest of your own, so talk about it. Give your companions some idea of what your daily life is like. You do not have to be ultra-intelligent, young, slim or glamorous to be entertaining. And smile! People are always attracted to others who bring some sunshine into their ordinary lives. When you are with other people always put some input into the conversation, otherwise it is left to one or two to carry the whole. Also you will not feel a drag.

Visualisation: You have spent the whole evening choosing the right clothes and accessories. When you arrive at your destination and begin to mix, you are aware that some guests are standing about looking bored and others are in earnest conversation. Walk up to the bored individuals, say hello and tell them how happy you feel to have been invited (even if you’re lying – a white lie now and then can be forgiven if it’s in a good cause). Talk to them. Bring some life into their lives. Your hosts will be forever grateful. There is nothing worse than a gathering in which some guests talk non-stop and others won’t talk at all. And while you are doing your bit, you’ll probably enjoy it.

Affirmation: Smile, speak, listen.