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The Truth About Sex

Sex is a big deal. Biologically, it’s what you’ve been put on this planet to do—passing on your genetic material is kind of your only job as a Homo sapien. Psychologically, it’s as close as you’ll come to baring your soul to another human, and despite previous experiences with humanity, you do it willingly (which is actually the definition of insanity, come to think of it). Physically? You’re literally attached to another person.

And we haven’t even mentioned the scary sexual-health stuff you’ve (hopefully) learned about in school, or the whole making a baby thing. As far as animalistic impulses go, sex is pretty complicated. That’s not supposed to scare you—if it does, you’re probably not ready to have sex—but you should know the risks involved, and act accordingly. So always use protection. Never pressure your partner to do something they’re not comfortable with. Do talk about your feelings and expectations. Don’t judge others for doing the same. Do explore and experiment. Don’t do it without permission. Realize that having more sex doesn’t make you more of a man (it’s kind of the opposite). Understand that sex doesn’t define what you are, but rather who you are at this moment. Be honest, up front and respectful. Act like an adult, not an asshole. And, y’know, have fun.

Because setting aside everything we’ve just said—and ignoring nearly every aspect of popular culture and social interaction—sex isn’t really that big of a deal. Your parents figured it out, and they don’t even know how to work an iPhone. You shouldn’t let it consume your life; you’ll miss out on a lot of amazing experiences if you do. Trust us, it’ll happen (and yes, we realize how impossible that sounds if it hasn’t). And after it does, it’ll happen again. You’ll get more comfortable and confident, you’ll figure out what you like (and what you don’t) and you’ll eventually realize you wasted an awful lot of time obsessing over something that’s essentially an enjoyable pastime.

So don’t put too much stock in sex—but don’t discount its importance, either. It’s a form of expression and an exploration of self, a way of figuring out how you’re wired (and maybe even why). It’s a social construct and a social contract. It’s psychological and physical. It’s not something to take lightly. Sometimes it’s weird. Sometimes it’s dirty. It’s complex. But so is life. And that’s the truth.