Читать книгу The Retreat - By Sam Marie and Daniel B - Страница 5

The large nun came to talk to me this morning. She asked me to come with her to take a walk; her name is Sister Helena. She told me that she figured that I might want to know more about my mom. I said, of course I did, but I didn’t want to be rude and ask right away. She said it would be a pleasure to tell me about her. She said I had her mannerisms, and I looked so much like her.

We walked down the hallways at the edge of the courtyard, she then gave me a pair of clippers and walked out into the garden in the courtyard. She started clipping the dead roses and asked me to do the same.

As we clipped the dead roses, she told me my mom had come here when she was nineteen. They became good friends. My mom had come to the convent to get away from her home life. My mom had been the eldest of seven children, I knew that. What I didn’t know, is that my grandma had put a lot of responsibility on her. She had been taking care of her younger brothers and sisters since she was about the age of twelve. She helped with the chores, and learned how to cook, wash clean and keep her eye on her brothers and sisters. My mom didn’t mind helping, but she eventually wanted to become someone, to obtain an education. My grandma didn’t believe in that, she wanted my mom to learn to become a good wife and later find a husband. Around the age of sixteen, my mom was advised that she should start looking for a suitor, so she could get married around the age of eighteen, twenty at the latest. My mom had other ideas, she believed in becoming more than someone’s wife. Being a wife should be a choice, not the only option. When she turned eighteen she saw that she wasn’t going to get an education, so she went to the convent and asked to become a nun. This way she would obtain the education she wanted, and become a teacher. This made her parents proud and was an acceptable option.

After dead-heading the roses, Sister Helena led me to see the animal pens. They had goats they used for milk and chickens for eggs. She also showed me the vegetable garden where they grew some of the food. Then she took me down a hallway that was a little darker, it was at the edge of the far rear courtyard. I saw what looked like a row of tiny cells, they looked like jail cells. I asked sister Helena what that was, it looked interesting. Sister said that these were the cells where nuns come sometimes when they feel they need atonement. They would seclude themselves in the cell for a few days and pray. They also flogged themselves to achieve atonement. Once they felt they had done enough to make things right, they would come back out and join the others. They would be there in seclusion usually for no more than three days. They could eat bread and water, but had no visitor. The nuns just dropped off food once in a while, and checked on them. They were not to be talked to or interrupted in their prayers and meditation.

I asked if my mom had been there too. She said yes, she had. The image in my mind was strange, and a little morbid. I somehow in the dark recesses of my mind, I thought I would like to watch a nun do this; it seemed so mystical, dark, and highly secretive.

After this long talk, I asked Sister Helena why or how I happened to come into the picture with my mom. I explained to her that my mom had told me that I had been adopted from a hospital that had been left by my mother at the hospital and I was very ill. I was just left there to be taken care of, that she had found me there, and asked to adopt me.

Sister Helena then told me that when my mom was sent to live in different convents, they moved her around, and that it’s normal. She studied hard, she obtained her PhD and became a teacher. After she had obtained her degree, she was placed in a school in Tijuana, Mexico, that is where the order needed her. Back here, they all heard that she had been an great teacher, and was loved by all her students as well as other teachers.

Something went wrong there apparently. My mom was removed quick and sent to Honduras. The school was sold or lost, in short, the school was taken from the order by the government. Sister Helena said she lost contact with my mom then. She was gone for a couple of years, and when she returned she visited her family briefly, and then she requested to be placed back in Tijuana. She explained that she was familiar with the people and the area; but the order refused to place her back in the place she had fallen in love with. It was not clear if that was the reason why she left the order. She left the order during that time, and moved to Tijuana on her own. Her students were now professionals, they helped her find a house and establish herself. They also helped her build her own school.

Sister Helena only found out I existed, when my family told her my mom had a daughter. They said I was adopted and my mom had passed away. They said that they couldn’t take care of me, so they were bringing me here. Sister Helena said she didn’t understand why having a family, they would leave me here, but she was nobody to question their wishes. She said they were happy to have me here.