Читать книгу Happy Kids: The Secrets to Raising Well-Behaved, Contented Children - Cathy Glass, Cathy Glass - Страница 14

If the child isn’t used to cooperating and you are now having to modify his or her behaviour, or if the child has decided that he or she is going to test the boundaries, be prepared for a scene. Tantrums are natural for this age group, and any parent who claims their child has never had a tantrum is lying. Don’t back down, no matter how bad the tantrum; see through your Request. It will be far easier next time – clear and consistent boundaries are crucial for developing good behaviour.

I know it’s embarrassing having a child screaming and shouting in a public place. Everyone looks at you with disapprobation; even other mothers take on a holier-than-thou expression, as though their little darlings would never be so wilful. Ignore them, or smile sweetly (through clenched teeth if necessary). You are in charge of your child, you are doing what is best for him or her and ultimately it’s nothing to do with the onlookers. I was once in a shop when an exasperated mother, struggling with her wilful child at the checkout, turned to the woman behind and hissed, ‘And what the hell are you looking at?’ Not very polite, but I could sympathise; every mother has felt like that at some time.

Regardless of how loud your child is yelling, or how much you wish the ground would open up and swallow you, it is essential you do not give in to the tantrum. By all means talk calmly to the child – communication is always important – and Repeat, Reassure and Reaffirm what you have asked for – ‘Claire, you are staying in the pushchair until we have left the supermarket.’

If Claire breaks free of the pushchair, then pick her up and put her in again. Reassure and Reaffirm – ‘You are staying in the pushchair until we leave the supermarket’ – for as many times as is needed and until you have left the supermarket. I know it’s hard work, but if the ground rules are put in place now it becomes a lot, lot easier when the child is older.