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For anyone who is not familiar with this, the naughty chair/step/spot/corner is a designated area where the child is made to sit alone for a set period of time (usually one minute for each year of the child’s age), until he or she is ready to rejoin the family or group and behave. Many parents, carers, childminders and nursery schools use the naughty chair, and find it works very well. It allows the child to take time out to calm down and reflect on his or her bad behaviour. It also reinforces in the child’s mind that he or she has been naughty and their behaviour was unacceptable.

If you are already using the naughty chair method for disciplining your child and it is working, that is fine; continue modifying your child’s unacceptable behaviour in this way. As with all child-rearing advice, do what you feel comfortable with and what works for you and your child. But don’t feel the method is an essential tool for managing your child’s behaviour.

If you are not already using the naughty spot, or feel uncomfortable about using it, then please consider my reasons for not using it:

* Repeatedly having to return a child to the naughty spot if he or she gets off it can turn into confrontation and an issue in itself.

* It has the uncomfortable ring of the Victorian classroom, where a child was singled out and humiliated by being made to stand in a corner or on a chair in front of their class as a punishment.

* It is demeaning for the child to be singled out in a negative way, particularly in front of his or her siblings or peers.

* It draws attention to negative behaviour, and can also easily be viewed by the child as a game, where the child jumps off the spot when mum’s back is turned.

* Having to return the child repeatedly to the naughty spot is another stress for a parent who is already overwrought from having to deal with their child’s bad behaviour. If the child is in the frame of mind to complete the Request to go to the naughty spot first time, and stay there until the time is up, then he or she is unlikely to need this form of discipline in the first place, as the child is already obeying his parent.

Instead of the naughty spot, I use the 3Rs technique, rewarding all good behaviour and applying a sanction if the child persists in the bad behaviour. More on sanctions and rewards follows later.