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The boundaries and rules you put in place must be clear and consistent. It is pointless not allowing Tom to play with his lorry on the table one day and then allowing it another day. Children can have very long memories, and will quickly spot inconsistencies or injustice – ‘But you let me do it yesterday’ – and I’m afraid no justification on your part will make up for the obvious: that mum’s rules are pliable and therefore can be bent. And don’t let your child manipulate you – ‘Can I have my lorry on the table if I don’t move the wheels?’ You have made the decision, which is based on your experience that it is inadvisable, so the answer is ‘No'.

You can compromise, but only if it is an acceptable compromise to you, and one that you allowed from the start – ‘You can play with the lorry on the table, but I’ll put a cloth on the table first so it won’t get scratched.’ At this age children are learning all about compromise through sharing their toys with others, and compromise is an essential lesson for later life. But again, be consistent. If it is OK for Tom to play on the table covered with a cloth one day, then that is always the case.