Читать книгу Synergy Team Power - Chris Alexander - Страница 13

Do you want to do business with somebody you don’t trust? Would you want a relationship with someone you don’t trust? Of course you don’t! Trust is the foundation for all good personal and work relationships. It satisfies an emotional appetite for true connection and unity, and it begins by trusting yourself first. When you trust yourself, it’s easier to trust others. It takes courage to know who you are, to recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and still see the value of your contribution to yourself, others, and life.

In a scene from the romantic comedy “Moonstruck,” a neglected housewife eats dinner with a man she meets at a restaurant.

Afterwards, he walks her home. When he realizes that the house is empty, he asks if he can come inside. He is handsome and charming, his intentions are clearly romantic, her husband is cheating on her, the house is empty, and she would never get caught if she said yes. But she says, “No,” and when her chagrined suitor asks, “But why?” she answers, simply: “Because I know who I am.”

The blandishments of a handsome man were mere distractions to this character: She would go on being who she was. And in this lighthearted movie, we have a statement that is not lighthearted, but is one of the most important lessons life can teach: You have to know who you are. You must have a good and trusting relationship with yourself.

When you know, really know, what matters to you, your actions mirror your beliefs. Your self-respect will not be swayed by external events. Other people may distress you, may even cause you harm, but you have something so solid to hold onto that you cannot be swayed into making foolish decisions, even attractively foolish decisions. There is a marvelous comfort in knowing who you are.

Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, found that “piece” of knowledge in the hellishness of a concentration camp. People who had every reason to believe in their imminent death found reasons to live, found ways to care for one another. In a situation designed to bring out the worst in humanity, they found the finest in themselves. These people, strong spirits in tortured bodies, put their energies into being good to one another. Their focus was outward, positive, and helpful. In the midst of a living nightmare, they still knew, or maybe knew even better, who they were.

Albert Einstein believed that human beings, to realize their potential, must have clear standards of right and wrong. The most important human endeavor, said the famous scientist, is striving for morality in our actions. “Morality is what gives beauty and dignity to life. Following our animal instincts is not enough. Without high standards of right and wrong, men cannot live together in peace and friendship.”

In your personal and business life, trustworthiness is fostered and earned by honoring and paying your dues through diligent eff ort, quality work, and pride in accomplishment. It is going the extra mile and being loyal to yourself and the commitments you make to others. Being your own person is about being self-directed and authentic. It originates at our core by choosing to live and work by a set of ethical standards, beliefs, and values. Authenticity, transparency, and integrity are all from the same family and when service to one another is embraced as a value, trustworthiness is experienced, making it easier to make decisions and solve everyday problems. If you are not authentic and sincere, you will encourage mistrust, fear, and distance.

Integrity means not forsaking what’s right for the approval and acceptance of any person or group. It means not engaging in unethical manipulation of others to do what’s morally, legally, and humanely wrong. It’s knowing that no right thing can come from wrong thinking.