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Misunderstanding #4. If You Pamper Yourself, You Love Yourself

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If I could remove the word pamper from the dictionary, I would. Not because I don’t enjoy the activities that are often associated with the word pamper, which means “to overindulge” — such as a combo manicure and pedicure or a spendy lunch or weekend spa visit. It’s because the notion of taking specific days during the year — which are usually few and far between — to pamper ourselves has created the notion that it’s acceptable to nurture and treat ourselves well only on “special” days, not every day. To make fabulous self-care or delicious self-pleasure part of every day — why, that would be selfish. To focus on yourself every day — why, that would be narcissistic. Well, who says?

The truth is that self-love is not something you do only on vacation or at the spa. You don’t schedule it for Wednesdays and then spend the other six days of the week running yourself ragged, engaging in toxic relationships, or hating your body. Loving yourself is something you do every day, in every moment, for the rest of your life. Self-love is a way of living, a practice, and an awareness that you carry with you as a compass and a decision guide to how to live your life. It has nothing to do with how big your spa bill is, how many days you work out, or how often you get your nails done or buy yourself a nice outfit, but everything to do with how you nurture your mind, body, heart, and soul every day. In fact, some of the people who pamper themselves the most love themselves the least — overindulging in pampering just provides a good-looking mask for the lack of self-love.

Love Truth Self-love is a choice made in every moment, every day, not something you do only on special days.

Self-love is a moment-by-moment, everyday practice. It’s one you start your morning with, live your day with, and go to bed with. And like anything you practice, the more you practice it, the better you become. The best thing about practicing self-love is that unlike many things you were forced to practice as a kid, practicing self-love every day is fun and ridiculously rewarding!


1. Do you start your day by jumping out of bed and rushing around serving others or taking on your to-do list before either taking care of yourself or connecting with yourself?

2. Do you go for days without nurturing your body, mind, and spirit? And then realize you have run yourself down to zero?

3. Do you take good care of your body — get your nails done, get massages, take vacations, and the like — and make it a priority to give yourself what you need, yet find you’re not really happy inside?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s scrub-a-dub-dub time! If you answered no to all, you are clean, so continue on.

Scrub Off the Dirt — Get Your Love Loofah and Get to It

If you answered yes to question 1 or 2, then say:

“I release the belief that loving myself is an indulgent, frivolous act.”

If you answered yes to question 3, then say:

“I release the belief that spending money on pampering myself is enough to make me feel loved, happy, and cared for.”

Rub in the Love — Melt This Love Mantra into Your Heart,

Body, Mind, and Spirit

“Loving myself is something I get to do every day. And that can only be good.”

Daring Act of Love Take a Self-Love Soak Every Day!

At first waking, before rising from your bed, open your eyes and then close them right away. Keeping your eyes closed, wrap your arms around your body, and tell yourself (either in a soft whisper or silently inside), “<<insert name>>, I love you.” Say these words over and over again, and, so that you can literally feel the self-love soaking into your cells, add a hug — just as you would hug your partner, child, or four-legged companion in the morning. In this case, the being you are directing love to is you. Lie there in that hug, feel your heart open, and imagine pink light enveloping you, infusing your cells with love. Keep the soak going until you feel some love soak in. When the love is activated within you, open your eyes.

At first you may feel nothing; it may take you a few days, even weeks, to open up to receiving love in this way. So fake it until you make it, knowing that eventually the love will get through.

To complete this Love Bath, you need to look in one more set of places — your private places. No, not your private parts — lol! Your private places.

I shared with you four of the biggest misunderstandings about selflove, but unfortunately there are many more. As we grow up, they come to us from so many directions — the media, our parents, relatives, friends, school, religious institutions, and our communities. I’d have to write an entire encyclopedia on misunderstandings to list them all — and given that you haven’t been afflicted by them all, that’d be a poor use of time that could be better spent on where we are going. We’re going to grow your self-love!

So what I’ve done is come up with a superspeedy self-love adventure using some powerful transformative ME Art that will help you identify the misunderstandings about self-love that you picked up from early childhood to today, so that you can see them, scrub them off, and then rub in some love. Create this ME Art and use it to evoke the self-love mind shifts you need to make, and then take a Love Bath to release each one. And, of course, I’ve created a full-color Loveplate that you can download at www.ChooseSelfLove.com! The entire excursion can take you less than an hour. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side!

Madly in Love with ME

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