Читать книгу The Power of Positive Aging - David Lereah - Страница 10

CHAPTER THREE

The Power of Me: Inner Spirit

If we imagine the practice of positive aging as an orchestra playing beautiful music, our inner spirit is the conductor.

A story I love is about a poor panhandler sitting on an old storage trunk begging for money. A wealthy man dressed in a dapper suit stopped to give him a few dollars and asked, “How long have you been sitting on this trunk soliciting for money?” The beggar answered, “I’ve been sitting on this old trunk for over three years. This is a pretty good street corner; some days I do well and some days I go hungry.”

“Have you ever opened the trunk to see what’s inside?” the man asked.

“No, I never thought to open it; it’s locked,” the beggar replied.

The man put down his briefcase and picked up a rock and pounded on the trunk’s lock until it broke. The beggar opened the trunk to find a treasure of gold. He had not known how wealthy he was until he looked inside.

Just as there was treasure inside that trunk, even though the beggar didn’t realize it, there is something extraordinary inside all of us. Some call it a spirit, others call it a soul. I will refer to it as our spirit. One of the keys to effectively manage age-related decline is to rely on a social network of support, which in turn lifts the spirit. A healthy spirit is a critical ingredient to successful aging. As you experience physical and mental decline with aging, focus on strengthening your spirit; the spirit is not affected by the marks of aging.

Your spirit is your best friend. It is part of your social support group—it is the power of me. As humans age, the physical body declines while the spiritual body continues to grow. I believe aging is about your spirit taking center stage—and I’m not alone in this belief. Spiritual awareness is on the rise in America. Meditation groups and yoga classes are becoming increasingly popular across the nation, with some companies offering meditation to their employees. More and more people use phrases like “universal life energy” and “unity consciousness,” which reflect the beliefs that there is a consciousness connecting all life. The revolution of the spirit is here.

Follow your spirit and the marks of aging become inconveniences rather than burdens. They are inconveniences because they do not threaten your life itself; they only threaten your way of life and possibly the quality of your life.

Embrace your spirit and you will perceive aging through a stronger lens with greater clarity. You will be more confident and secure, and you will no longer be embarrassed or ashamed about the marks of aging you may bear, whether they are from battling cancer or heart disease, a decline in physical appearance, a disabled body function, or a mental impairment. The goal is to have a healthier and longer life span filled with meaning.

To my knowledge, there is no scientific evidence as of yet supporting the notion of a spirit or soul. Nevertheless, an overwhelming majority of humans on this planet believe they possess a spirit or soul. I’m one of them. Most traditional Judeo-Christian religions believe in an afterlife where the spirit/soul transcends to Heaven, while many Eastern religions (e.g., Buddhism) believe the spirit/soul reincarnates to relive in future physical bodies. The common thread among these beliefs is that most humans believe they are more than just their physical body—they believe they possess a spirit/soul, and the physical body serves as a vessel for the spirit to exist in the physical realm.

According to the 2014 General Social Survey, led by psychologist Jean Twenge of San Diego State University, fewer Americans say they believe in God or pray regularly—yet more people believe in an afterlife, nonetheless. The study surveyed 58,000 people and found that 80 percent of Americans said they believe in an afterlife, up from 73 percent in 1972.¹³

If this is so, shouldn’t we focus more of our energies as we age on growing and strengthening our spirits rather than focusing on the decline and decay of our physical bodies? It is your spirit that defines you, not your physical appearance.

But try telling that to any teenager getting ready for a Saturday-night date. Or for that matter, try telling it to any woman who is putting on a nice outfit, applying makeup, and fixing her hair to run to the grocery store to pick up some lettuce and milk. The importance of physical appearance is firmly entrenched in American society. Most people are more focused on how they appear to be—both physically and socially—than how they really are. Many of us care more about how other people perceive us than how we genuinely feel about ourselves.

Not surprisingly, superficial appearances matter less as we grow older. Older people covered in wrinkles and age spots become more focused on their health and the authenticity of relationships than with physical attributes and social status.

Interest in spirituality and aging has risen during this past decade due in part to growing evidence that spiritual and religious practices generate positive physical and mental health outcomes. We are enjoying longer life spans today, and this reality highlights the importance of spirituality in older people to better cope with the potentially lengthy process of aging. Fortunately, studies have shown that people become more spiritual with age.

Spirituality makes it easier to maintain a positive attitude when experiencing physical and mental decline, which is why it is the first of the six building blocks in the Power of Positive Aging program. It takes discipline to do the right thing when everything seems to be against you. How can you be emotionally strong when you are emotionally drained?

Exploring Your Spirit

It is generally acknowledged that humans are composed of body, mind, and spirit (or soul). However, there is little consensus among cognitive scientists, philosophers, and religious scholars about the spirit’s functions and its relationship with the mind. Let’s explore some of the more prominent explanations, so we can better understand how spirit is linked to positive aging.

Scientific Explanations

The mind is a set of cognitive faculties that enables consciousness, perception, thinking, judgment, feeling, and memory. Over the decades, there have been numerous attempts to develop an understanding of the nature of the mind and its relation to the brain and nervous system.

In the psychiatric field, the computational theory claims that the mind is separate from physical existence. This theory asserts that the nervous system is an information processing system that works by translating changes in the body and the environment into a language of neural impulses that represent the animal–environment relationship. The computational theory allows people to conceptually separate the mind from the brain and body. We can conceive of the mind as the flow of information through the nervous system and this flow of information can be conceptually separated from the biophysical matter that makes up the nervous system. To better illustrate this concept, scientists use the analogy of a book. The book’s physical characteristics can be considered as roughly akin to the brain. However, the information content (i.e., the story the book tells or the information it conveys) is akin to the mind. The mind, then, is the information instantiated in and processed by the nervous system. Therefore, we can conceptually separate the mind from the brain, which may help us conceptually separate the spirit from our body.

Religious/Supernatural Traditions and Explanations

According to Buddhism, the mind has two fundamental qualities: clarity and knowing. Clarity refers to the fact that the mind has no physical characteristics, while knowing refers to the mind functioning to cognize or perceive objects. The mind is aware of the contents of experience, so in order to exist, the mind must be cognizing an object. There is also an intimate connection between the mind and perception. A person’s state of mind plays a crucial role in his or her experiences of happiness and suffering; this is crucial in the context of aging.

Buddhists believe in the intimate relationships between mind and body and in the existence of physiological centers within the body. Physical yoga exercises and meditation techniques aimed at training the mind can have positive effects on health and thus enhance the aging process. Further, there are some meditation techniques that make it possible to separate your mind from your physical body.

Many people believe the spirit/soul is part of the “upper mind,” which suggests that part of the mind is not attached to the physical body. Many Buddhists and New Age enthusiasts assert that the purpose of meditation is to clear the mind, so you can tap into your spirit/soul.

Traditional religion makes a distinction between a spirit and soul. The spirit is the element in humanity that gives us the ability to have an intimate relationship with God. Spirit refers to the immaterial part of humanity that “connects” with God (John 4:24). The soul is the essence of humanity’s being; it is who we are.

Spirituality comes in many shapes and sizes. People involved in New Age spirituality proclaim that they are spiritual but not religious. They are aware of a connection or relationship with something that goes beyond sensory perceptions. Religious people make the connection between spirit and God. The broadest definition is that spirituality is the affirmation of something beyond the physical realm that relates God or a universal entity to a community of people and connects them with a nurturing wholeness.

My Explanations

I make no distinction between a spirit and a soul. I make no claims about which beliefs are true and which are false. To me, all beliefs are possibilities, and eventually science will uncover the truths about life, the universe, whether spirits and souls exist, and if there is afterlife. For the purposes of this book, religious and spiritual proclivities are unimportant, as is the difference between a belief in God as the almighty or God as a universal energy source.

The only assumption I make is that when we pass on, our physical bodies are left behind and our spirits transcend. Focus on growing your spirit while your body is decaying, and you will age gracefully.

Tap into Your Spirit

So, how do you nurture and grow your spirit? As you rely on your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell) to nurture your physical body, you should rely on your intuitive perception to nurture your spirit.

Seek out moments that allow your spirit to reveal itself. Create more of these moments as you encounter the marks of aging, and you will feel that sense of calm and infinite peace in your inner self. Harness it; capture the feeling and call upon it often as you age.

How do you create these spiritually nourishing moments? Engage in activities that make it easy and fun to tap into your spirit. You can reach your spirit by clearing your mind through meditation and other spirit-related activities that can be inserted seamlessly into your daily routines.

Just as you exercise your physical body to gain strength and stay healthy and fit, your brain/mind also needs to be exercised so you can tap into your spirit. Someone who has never trained for running would have a difficult time finishing a 26-mile marathon, but with proper training running a marathon is an attainable goal. Similarly, someone who has never trained in a spiritual sense may experience initial frustration but in due time will likely succeed.

To get started, here are some popular ways that people tap into their inner spirit. I used some of these during my battle with cancer.

Tame Your Ego

An untamed ego is your spirit’s greatest enemy. Not surprisingly, your ego responds negatively to overall decline in physical appearance, as well as to decline in bodily functions (e.g., digestive problems). I liken it to a jealous 6-year old boy trying to gain the attention of his parents over his 3-year old sister—the ego steps in front of the spirit at every opportunity. Taming your ego is a mandatory first step in tapping into your spirit, and it comes before employing the other steps for coping with aging.

You begin by becoming aware that your ego heavily influences your thoughts and actions and that your ego makes it more difficult to age gracefully. Then you will realize that you are in control of your thoughts, not your ego. Do not rush the process; your objective is to make a little progress each day at taming your ego.

Hold a picture of your younger self up to the mirror and contrast it to the person you see now. Your ego will long to be young again and might emit a series of emotions like sadness, anger, resentment, and shame.

Take note of everything old about you (e.g., wrinkles, age spots, hair loss), and then just say no to your ego. Instead, view your physical marks of aging as a badge of honor. Feel a sense of pride in reaching this point in your life. Tell your ego that growing old is a good thing; it’s something to be proud of.

MY JOURNEY

During my battle with cancer, I discovered a number of ways to lift my spirit while coping with chemotherapy and radiation treatments, as well as when I was dealing with the anguish involved with the pre- and post-surgery periods.

When first diagnosed with cancer, it was my ego that had a difficult time. My ego was bruised and unable to accept that I had cancer. Other people got cancer, not me. I had to push my ego aside and accept my fate. This was the first step in coping with and battling cancer.

Perhaps you have experienced times when your spirit unexpectedly surged ahead of your ego. For me, one such time occurred when I vacationed in Costa Rica years ago. I was walking in a place where the rain forest meets the ocean. As I strolled on the white sands of the Costa Rican beach, to my left was a breathtaking sight of clear blue ocean waves hitting against the shore, while to my right was a picturesque view of a tropical rain forest—with monkeys jumping from tree to tree and exotic birds boasting the colors of the rainbow perched on tree limbs. In that moment, I was free of past and future thoughts. I felt no anxiety or sadness. I felt happiness and joy and I didn’t have a care in the world.

My spirit had come for a visit and, for a while at least, displaced my attention-seeking ego.

Seek Peaceful Moments

At least two or three times per day, put yourself in a place where you can be “far from the madding crowd” and away from all distractions. This could be in your bedroom, or outside on a back porch, or during a walk in the park. The objective is to capture some moments where you can find peace of mind. These moments better prepare you to summon your spirit.

During my six-week chemotherapy/radiation treatment in Tampa, Florida, I would take long walks at the Residence Inn where I was staying. I found a path that was lined with tall trees that had a calming effect on me. This was my time of reflection, and my spirit led the way.

Walking puts your mind in a relaxed state of clear thought. Walking gives your brain a chance to wander and free itself from any troubling thoughts, which is a prerequisite for tapping into your spirit. I know I’m tapping into my spirit when I walk alone and think.

Meditate

Meditation is a practice that promotes relaxation, builds internal energy (or life-force), and develops compassion, love, kindness, and an overall sense of well-being. It is perhaps the most effective practice of spirituality. Meditation involves focusing on an object, a point in space, or a mantra (in Buddhist or yoga practices). Some physicians and health centers now routinely recommend meditation or yoga and include them as part of integrated health programs. See detailed instructions for meditation in chapter 4, Mindfulness.

Facilitate an Out-of-Body Experience

Have you ever experienced an out-of-body experience? Over 25 percent of adults in the United States claim to have experienced at least one out-of-body experience.

An out-of-body experience, or OBE, is an experience that typically involves a sensation of floating outside one’s body or, in some cases, the feeling of perceiving one’s physical body as if from a place outside one’s body. People who have experienced an OBE tend to hold a strong belief that their spirit is separate from their physical body.

OBEs can be induced by deep meditation, sounds that stimulate the brain, and near-death experiences, among others. However, not everyone believes in the validity of OBEs. Neuroscientists and psychologists regard OBEs as dissociative experiences arising from different psychological and neurological factors.

Some people take OBEs a step further than just believing that their spirit can separate from their physical body. Some believe that once they have an OBE and their spirit leaves their physical body, they have acquired the skills for their spirit to travel in the astral plane. The astral plane refers to other dimensions in the universe that some call the heavens.

Whether astral travel is an illusion of the mind or real is way outside the scope of this book. Our purpose is to provide another piece of information that leads to the belief that we humans are more than our physical bodies.

So, how do you conduct an out-of-body experience? Robert Monroe’s 1971 book Journeys Out of the Body demonstrated how audio technology could facilitate OBEs. Monroe conducted research on human consciousness from which he produced evidence that specific sound patterns have identifiable effects on our states of consciousness. By testing certain combinations of frequencies on himself, Monroe was able to encounter what he termed an out-of-body experience. Monroe went on to develop Hemi Sync, an audio technology that facilitates OBEs. Just Google “Hemi Sync” and you will be able to purchase his audio CDs of sounds.

You may be thinking this is all far-fetched, but I’ve actually experienced an out-of-body experience on multiple occasions. Whether this was really my spirit rising out of my body or just an illusion based on psychological or neurological factors, I cannot say.

In any event, here is how I experienced an OBE using the Monroe Hemi Sync method:

➢ Lie in bed with hands at your side and get as comfortable as you can. You need to place yourself in the best position and environment to achieve success. You should be in a distraction-free environment where you can darken the room and remain undisturbed during the 30- to 45-minute exercise. Loosen any tight clothing and remove shoes and glasses (or contacts).

➢ You will hear a voice on the Hemi Sync CD and then you will hear sounds. There are three steps that you must follow for any OBE exercise: create an energy conversion box; recite the affirmation; and conduct resonant tuning.

➢ An energy conversion box is symbolic of a location where you can place all your worries and concerns, leaving you free and unencumbered. Create it in your mind, even if you don’t see, hear, or feel it.

➢ Say the affirmation: “I am more than my physical body.” The affirmation helps you focus your attention on what you want to accomplish during the exercise. It helps you focus your intent, thereby enabling you to become more aware of your expanding consciousness.

➢ The final step is resonant tuning, which is a breathing exercise to help you vitalize and charge your entire system. It promotes an accelerated gathering of your vibrational energy while reducing your internal dialogue. From the Monroe CD you will hear strange, eerie sounds of a symphonic or synthesized nature. You need to put your mind into the rhythmic sound waves.

➢ If you are successful (and it may take three to ten exercises to get there), you will feel a tingling sensation throughout your body. When you do, keep your mind focused and soon the tingling will change to vibrations, which will get more intense by the second, capturing your entire body, head to toe.

➢ And then it could happen—you will be looking down at your body. You will have experienced an OBE. It is possible that you will have a sensation that your spirit is floating freely and drifting upward toward the bedroom ceiling. It will be a glorious feeling.

When it is over, you will say to yourself, Did this just happen, or was this a dream? Was this my imagination, or reality? Personally, I don’t know whether to believe or not to believe, but I’m glad for the experience. In any event, these Hemi Sync sounds will take you on a spiritual journey whether you experienced an OBE or not. And you will certainly have the sensation that you are more than your physical body, an important tenet for the practice of positive aging.

Connect Through Crystals

There is a small but growing segment of people in America today who utilize crystals as an aid to awaken their spirits. Crystals have had prominence in ancient rituals and practices over the past millennium. For believers, humans emit an energy into the universe, and crystals absorb energy vibrations emitted from their surroundings and then send them back into the world. People connect with crystals and feed off their emission of positive energy, lifting their vibrations and moving them to a spiritual state.

Crystals are physical forms of the Earth’s energy. When you connect with your crystal, your crystal gets to know you, in a sense, based on your vibration. It is believed that programming your crystals with specific intentions creates a special aura in your environment, helping you fight off any negativity that may be affecting your well-being. This is particularly useful for people seeking to tap their spirit and embrace positivity as they age.

The question of whether the power of crystals is real is up to each one of us. For purposes of tapping our spirit, believers should use crystals as an aid. For nonbelievers, there may still be a positive psychological effect of using crystals, thinking that maybe they have the power to tap into your spirit.

If you acquire a crystal, put it into practice by wearing it as jewelry, placing it in your home, or carrying it in your pocket. Here are five crystals associated with facilitating a spiritual journey:

Clear Quartz. Quartz is one of the most basic crystals to begin your spiritual journey with. Quartz carries the power to cleanse your thoughts and clear your mind. Once you feel connected to your quartz, clarify your intentions for the stone and trust that it is listening.

Selenite. This stone is known for unblocking stagnant energies, ensuring a positive flow of vibrations between you and your crystal. Selenite is one of the most powerful tools for removing negativity as you age.

Shungite. This stone contains natural antioxidants, making it a powerful healer of health-hazardous energies to the body. It can be used for detoxification and relief from anxiety as you age.

Amethyst. It is believed that this stone acts as an energetic shield containing a spiritual light around your body. This stone is particularly useful for people confronting physical and mental decline because it helps strengthen your spiritual body, as well as boosting your self-worth.

Citrine. This stone carries the energy of the sun and promotes happiness and positivity as we cope with the marks of aging. Citrine is a useful crystal for people as they age because it fills you with optimism and motivates you to form good habits for achieving balance in your life.

Pray

Prayer is a profound way to tap into your spirit and communicate with what some believe to be godlike powers or a higher self. For many, prayer is an effective form of coping that helps older people as they physically and mentally age.

I did not lean on prayer during my battle with cancer. I guess I felt awkward communicating with something I’m not sure about. However, nearly 60 percent of Americans report praying daily. Interestingly, group prayer is associated with a greater well-being and happiness, while solitary prayer is associated with depression and loneliness. There is some scientific validation of the benefits of prayer, in terms of health outcomes, but it is not conclusive. Critics of prayer maintain that any perceived benefits of prayer are likely due to a placebo effect. However, until science proves otherwise, prayer is an effective way to summon our spirit and is useful for anyone dealing with the marks of aging or a life-threatening disease.

Practice Yoga

Sometimes it is necessary to prepare your body for meditation by stretching and building strength. Yoga, an ancient Indian health regimen, is a practice that accomplishes this task by creating balance in the body’s energy centers through developing both strength and flexibility. Yoga unites the body, mind, and spirit, and teaches your body how to tap into your spirit. It helps to discipline your mind, and it trains your nervous system so it’s easier for you to process spiritual energy. Another benefit of yoga is that it can be used in combination with other treatments for anxiety, stress, depression, and other mental disorders.

While I’ve personally only dabbled in yoga, many of my friends and acquaintances have benefited greatly from it. Yoga classes are plentiful in every community. It will be well worth your time.

Stimulate Your Mind

Your mind is the gateway to your spirit, so conditioning and stimulating it are essential for achieving your spiritual journey. There are numerous ways to prepare your mind for a spiritual journey. I’ve selected the ways that I believe are practical for aging boomers and senior citizens to implement.

Drawing. Drawing or painting stimulates the right side of the brain, which inspires creativity. The more creative you are, the more you are in touch with your spirit. I don’t draw because I can’t even draw a straight line, but if you have any artistic talent or interest, painting and drawing are wonderful ways to stimulate your mind and touch your spirit. In fact, art therapy has become a popular activity for older people in assisted living facilities. It is particularly beneficial for people in memory care facilities who are afflicted with dementia.

Music. Studies have demonstrated that musical sounds strengthen the right side of the brain. Listening to music is a mentally healthy activity that can take you into a meditative state.

I’ve observed the positive effects of music on senior citizens at my parents’ senior living community. Every Friday night is music night, and a semiprofessional entertainer sings songs from the 1940s, 50s, and 60s to an audience composed of 70-, 80-, and 90-year-olds. The first time I attended one of these sessions I was astounded at the mesmerizing effect that the sweet sounds and familiar lyrics of the music had on most of the seniors in the audience. It was like the music touched their souls and spirits, and for 60 minutes their lives achieved peace and harmony.

My 96-year old dad listens to classical music to escape the realities of life and aging, whereas Bruce Springsteen songs do it for me.

Writing. When you write, you strengthen your brain’s natural ability to convey thoughts and feelings. Writing journals, diaries, blog entries, and stories are excellent ways to fulfill the needs of your brain. For older people, writing a bio legacy (your life story) can be an effective way to tap into your spirit while also adding meaning to your life.

For me, writing this book was a home run—the most stimulating activity I’ve ever been involved in.

Mind Games. Mind games are thought-provoking and challenging activities. Participating in games such as crossword puzzles, sudoku, chess, or card games is mentally stimulating and tends to engage both the left and right sides of the brain. If you are retired, dedicate a specific period of time each day (say, 3:00 p.m.) to participate in a mind game. Card games like gin, poker, and bridge are popular at most senior centers.

Reading. Reading is exercise for the mind. It would be beneficial to do some form of reading every day, and there are plenty of sources to choose from: books, magazines, newspapers, or news websites.

Love Yourself

For me, love derives from the spirit, not the ego. The more you love yourself (self-love), the closer you are to your spirit. As we age, some of us feel a diminished sense of self-worth and some may wallow in self-pity. Never doubt how truly awesome you are. You deserve love—and lots of it—from yourself. And as soon as you can give yourself more love, you are much closer to tapping into the energy within your higher self.

Final Thoughts

There is a magic wand for dealing with the inconveniences of aging—our spirit. I’ve come to believe that embracing and connecting with your spirit is a monumental event in life that opens a whole new world filled with wonderful possibilities. There is no better prescription for aging (or battling a challenging disease) than tapping into your spirit. Tapping into my spirit was without a doubt my greatest asset during my battle with cancer.

When you are down and drowning in past thoughts or negativity, people will tell you that you need to live in the present and feel the touch of God. I believe this advice is on target, whether you are a religious person or not. (If you are not religious, just substitute “spirit” for God.) Touch your spirit and you will be set free.