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CHAPTER FIVE

Positivity

Physical and mental decline are inevitable, but your decline is not. Your mind, spirit, and beliefs have a profound influence on the marks of aging and these marks can be reversed by shifts in awareness. I have already shown how the power of mindfulness (living in the present moment) can positively affect your approach toward aging. There is another powerful force to help you age successfully: positivity.

The dictionary defines positivity as the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude. According to Courtney Ackerman of Positivepsychology.com, “Positive thinking is a mental and emotional attitude that focuses on the bright side of life and expects positive results.”¹⁴

A more pertinent description of positivity in the context of positive aging is given by Kendra Cherry at Verywell Mind (2017): “Positive thinking actually means approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It does not necessarily mean avoiding or ignoring the bad things; instead, it involves making the most of the potentially bad situations, trying to see the best in other people and viewing yourself and your abilities in a positive light.”¹⁵

Positivity is different from the Law of Attraction. Positivity is broader and does not depend on the belief in a supernatural force.

The Law of Attraction is the name given to the maxim “like attracts like,” which means that focusing on positive or negative thoughts will bring positive or negative experiences into your life. This belief is based upon the idea that people and their thoughts are both made from pure energy, and similar energy vibrations will attract each other.

The Law of Attraction has gained in popularity because of books like The Secret and Ask and It Is Given, which many people have read as they seek to improve their lives. The relevance here is that people experiencing the inconveniences of aging, including serious disease and the prospects of finality, deal with those issues more successfully with positive thoughts and positive energy.

Law of Attraction believers claim that your thoughts directly influence your health. They believe that worry, fear, stress, or other negative thoughts make people sick, while positive thoughts of wellness or love can keep people healthy and even cure illnesses. They also claim that an important part of maintaining health and curing illness is visualizing yourself being healthy.

Although there are some cases where positive or negative attitudes can produce corresponding results (principally due to the placebo and nocebo effects), there is no scientific basis to the Law of Attraction. In fact, critics have asserted that the evidence provided for substantiating the Law of Attraction is usually anecdotal. Further, the premise that good thoughts attract good things has a flip side: If you have an accident or disease, it’s your fault.

I don’t know if the Law of Attraction works or not, but I do know positive thoughts are effective tools for successful aging, whether or not there is some supernatural force at work. If the Law of Attraction works for you, look at it as a bonus. In any case, only good comes from a positive attitude.

Practicing positivity matters. If you believe in the power of the Law of Attraction, go with it. If you don’t believe in the Law of Attraction, then positivity will still help because it awakens the spirit and pushes the ego off center stage.

Practice Positivity

It’s important to recognize how negativity can keep older people from truly living life. I read recently that we have 50,000 to 70,000 unconscious thoughts per day, of which about 80 percent are negative. ¹⁶ This certainly makes it seem as if practicing positivity is an uphill climb.

Yet, as we’ll discuss, applying positivity to the challenges of aging is quite straightforward—and you can truly transform your life by staying positive. You need to feel good about yourself, no matter what your calendar age is or what mark of aging is challenging you.

According to most research studies, older adults with more positive self-perceptions and views of aging have better physical health and better survival rates than those with more negative self-perceptions and views. Negative views about aging predict low self-esteem and high levels of depression among older adults. (A discussion of positive versus negative self-perceptions is covered in more detail in chapter 15, Aging in America.)

The reason positive thinking is difficult to maintain is that people are impatient and want immediate results. For positivity to be effective, you need to make it a habit. This is accomplished over time by implementing daily positive practices in your life. Here are some habits that you can integrate into your daily life that will help you practice positivity.

Repeat Affirmations

You can use affirmations to establish a healthy habit of positivity. The theory behind some of the affirmations is that the more you say something, the more it imposes itself into your subconscious, where it begins to become reality. In effect, you can reprogram your subconscious mind through daily repetitions of affirmations.

For an older person who is stressed-out about aging, you can repeat an affirmation such as “I feel good about being alive. I feel good about being alive” for a couple of minutes per day. You can repeat this affirmation anytime throughout the day: in the morning, during lunch, or after dinner. You can say your affirmation out loud or silently.

Here is a list of recommended affirmations that are best suited for applying positivity to help better cope with the inconveniences of aging. I used the first four affirmations to help me cope with battling cancer.

Affirmations to Cope with Physical/Mental Decline

I am more than my physical body.

I am great and accept myself as I age.

I feel good about being alive.

I am powerful; I create the life I want.

My spirit strengthens with age.

Life is fun.

I love the challenges that aging presents.

There are no such things as physical problems, only opportunities to overcome.

I choose to be happy; I love my life.

I am brave; I am willing to act in spite of aging.

I am OK and accept myself as I age.

I have unlimited power at my disposal.

I am flexible and adapt to change quickly.

Lean on Religious/Supernatural Beliefs

Many people lean on religion or supernatural beliefs to cope with aging and the prospects of finality, and that is OK if it helps you stay positive about your declining life in the physical realm. Belief in the Law of Attraction is a good example of how a supernatural belief can contribute to positivity. With regard to religion, many religious people believe in the power of prayer, which helps them maintain a positive disposition during difficult times.

Again, belief in the supernatural does not have to be proved true (i.e., substantiated by scientific evidence) to help people age successfully. It is the psychological effect of the belief that is important. Having faith in something creates positivity, which helps you deal with the struggles and suffering associated with life and growing old. As long as you don’t impose your supernatural beliefs on others, it is likely to yield positive benefits.

Put Yourself in a Happy Place

Imagine that one day a friend convinces you to take a two-day trip to Disney World with other senior citizens. At first you may decline the invitation for fear of the unknown and belief that you won’t fit in with the youthfulness of the famous theme park. But you give in to temptation and you are now in the magical kingdom of Disney World. You see children and their parents laughing and eating cotton candy and other delights. You see children screaming happily on roller coasters and other rides, which gives you a personal excitement and rush that you haven’t experienced in a long time. You are living vicariously through the adventures of a younger generation of children and adults, or perhaps you even enjoy one of the slower rides at the park yourself. For a moment (or for the entire day), you are carefree and happy to be part of today’s youthful world.

We all need to escape from time to time, especially older people who are confined to living quarters. It does not have to be a Disney World trip; it could just be a short trip to the park or the beach or a shopping mall. Placing yourself in a happy place helps generate positive thoughts.

For me, my happy place was taking long walks down a tree-shaded pathway during the early stages of my cancer treatment.

Focus on Something Positive

Focus on things you want to happen in your life. If you pay attention only to the negative things, especially the suffering, stress, and inconveniences associated with the aging process, you are wallowing in your sorrows and not getting any positive nourishment. Positive thoughts are good food for our mind.

Practice avoiding saying or thinking words that are negative, self-defeating, or convey a poor attitude. Instead, replace them with more positive and affirming statements and attitudes.

I focused on the love I had for my wife and children. Every time a negative thought entered my mind, their faces would flood my thoughts and keep me in a positive frame of mind.

Keep a Gratitude Journal

Experiencing gratitude is one of the simplest ways to raise our positive energy. When you recognize that your life is precious, and you acknowledge that aging is a good thing, you will exude positive energy. I’ve always thought that my 89-year old mother and 96-year-old father have won the biggest lottery of all—an extended life. Now I need to view my life journey in a similar fashion. Appreciating the aging process makes us feel good about ourselves.

I learned the benefits of gratitude rather quickly due to my cancer. You learn to appreciate every day on Earth when you are faced with a life-threatening disease.

Quiet the Ego with Meditation

Meditation quiets the ego, which is naturally biased toward negativity. As we learned in previous chapters, meditation is an effective activity to touch your spirit, which in turn gives off positive vibes. Meditation helps us withdraw attention from stressful, negative patterns we’ve created over time.

Calm Your Body

Negative emotions get stored in our bodies on a cellular level. Physical motion is one way to release stress and negative energy. It doesn’t have to be intense; you can dance, practice yoga or tai chi, or go for a walk.

Final Thoughts