Читать книгу Trans Teen Survival Guide - Fox Fisher - Страница 15

You’re a trans guy but you still want to present in a feminine way? Perfectly fine. You’re non binary but you feel most comfortable expressing yourself in a masculine way? Go for it! You’re a trans girl and you want nothing more than to be a girly girl and do all the girly things? You go, girl!

Being you – whoever that is – is the most important thing. Allow yourself to explore and live out your identity, whether or not that falls into social norms. You don’t have to be tied down by outdated gender roles on how boys, girls or non binary people should look and behave. There are so many of us, and we really don’t have time to be put in yet another box that doesn’t fit us. Life’s too short. So while some of the things mentioned below might seem extremely stereotypical, they offer you an insight into gender expressions and ways of dressing that will portray femininity, masculinity and androgyny according to the norms of society. Just remember that no gender expression belongs to any gender and that anyone can use any of these tips or clothing to express themselves. Have fun with it. Mix and match. And do note that all of these suggestions can also be seen as something completely different. It’s all about how you do it and how you see it.

GENDER EXPRESSION AND PRESENTATION

There are many different types of gender expressions out there. Generally we like to view presentation as a threefold thing, where people can present as feminine, masculine or androgynous. This, however, is often a simplification, and very bound to social norms and what we consider to be feminine, masculine or androgynous. So while these terms describe a certain presentation, it’s important that we realise how fleeting and changing they are. Things that were once inherently masculine, such as high heels (we’re not kidding), are now considered one of the biggest signs of femininity. And pink was a boy’s colour in Victorian times because it was considered a watered-down version of red, the colour of war. Blue was for girls because it was cheaper to make fabric in this colour and girls weren’t treated as equal to boys.

So instead of teaching you how to ‘dress like a boy’ or ‘dress like a girl’, we are going to give you some advice and tips on presentation and styles that are generally considered masculine, feminine or androgynous. So see it as a very loose guide on what you can do. Just remember that none of these styles actually belong to a certain gender. Anyone should have the freedom to present however they want, whether that is feminine, masculine or androgynous, regardless of their gender. Try checking out the hashtags #thisiswhattranslookslike and #thisiswhatnonbinarylookslike on social media to see a kaleidoscope of trans people and their expressions!

PASSING AND PERCEPTION

Passing is a term often used to describe whether or not you are perceived as cisgender by others. For example, if a trans woman is generally seen as a cisgender woman by others, based solely on the way she looks, she ‘passes’. Obviously this term is in many ways problematic, as it creates a norm or an idea of how men and women should look. This is almost always based on cisnormative ideas about men and women and perpetuates the idea that all men look a certain way and that all women look a certain way. But even among cisgender people this isn’t the case, so the norm itself is often very flawed. It’s important to remember that we are all different, and men and women or non binary people all look different. There is no one way of looking like a man, woman or a non binary person.

On the flip side, passing is very important to some trans people and it can even be a matter of safety. Those who pass generally experience less harassment and can go through their day without anyone actually knowing that they are trans. It means they don’t have to face the same levels of transphobia that are more often experienced by those who don’t pass. In places where transphobia is extremely high, passing can even be a lifesaving thing. This doesn’t mean that those who pass never experience transphobia – often people know you are trans through association, through knowing you personally, etc. But passing inevitably gives you a certain advantage and protection against some types of transphobia that others might be more vulnerable to.

Being constantly seen as trans and being constantly harassed or discriminated against due to the way you look can be exhausting, unsafe and soul-destroying. This is why many trans people try their best to pass with the help of things such as makeup, vocal training, hormones, binding, padding and even surgeries. Every person is different and it’s important to respect a person’s choice to try to pass, and the steps they might take to achieve that.

Fox Fisher

SEXUAL ORIENTATION, BODIES AND DATING

Often people will confuse gender identity and sexual orientation, and will see being trans as being gay or lesbian. This can easily be challenged and corrected by saying that your gender identity is how you see yourself, whereas your sexual orientation is who you’re attracted to. These are two separate things but they are interconnected.

In order to be a gay man, you must obviously be a man. It means your gender identity is a man and you’re attracted to other men. Just like everyone else, trans people can have any sexual orientation. They can be gay men, lesbians, straight, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, demisexual and so on. For those of you who are unfamiliar with these terms, we will give you a quick rundown of these different sexual orientations.

Bisexual and pansexual are very much alike. Both of these refer to people who are attracted to more than one gender. Pansexual has often been described as being attracted to someone regardless of their gender and rather because of their personality, but it’s not quite that simple. Pansexual people can of course have physical preferences or be attracted to other qualities as well. Some people suggest that being pansexual means you are attracted to trans and intersex people, but such claims suggest that trans and intersex people can’t be men and women and that to be attracted to them requires you to have a specific sexual orientation. You can be straight, gay or bisexual and still be attracted to trans people as the vast majority of trans people fall inside the binary of being a man or a woman.

Pansexual is a term that was created in an attempt to encompass attraction to more gender identities than just man or woman. While some people like to describe pansexual as more inclusive of diverse gender identities than bisexual (hence ‘pan’, which means ‘all’, as opposed to ‘bi’, which means two), the definition of bisexual has also changed. Because of the constant focus on the gender binary and lack of awareness about gender identities that fall outside the binary of men and women, bisexuality has generally been seen as an attraction to both men and women. However, here too the definition isn’t quite that simple and being bisexual is now generally taken to mean being attracted to two or more genders. Bi and pan are therefore quite interchangeable.

Fox Fisher

Asexual (or ace) is an umbrella term for people who don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, people who have very limited sexual attraction, or people who can only develop sexual attraction if certain attributes are in place. Being asexual includes a broad set of experiences and there are many who separate sexual attraction from romantic attraction. This means that if someone is asexual, they can still experience romantic attraction, want to be in a relationship, and even in certain circumstances be sexual with their partners. It’s important to remember that people who are ace experience it in different ways. As you can imagine, this opens up a whole new spectrum of people having certain sexual attractions and romantic attractions (such as homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, etc.).

As asexual is an umbrella term, there are many other terms that fall under it, such as demisexual. Demisexual refers to people who need to have a very strong emotional connection with someone before being able to develop a sexual attraction to them.