Читать книгу Trans Teen Survival Guide - Fox Fisher - Страница 5

Chances are that the reason you’re starting to read this book is because you’re wondering if you’re trans or not. Or that you’ve already figured out that you’re trans and you need some more information. Or perhaps someone close to you might be trans. We’re glad you decided that this book might be of help to you and we really hope it will be. It contains valuable information that we wish we’d had access to when growing up, and it’s so amazing to be able to share this with you.

So, without further ado, let’s try to figure out what being trans actually is and what that actually means. The trouble with providing definitions and ticking boxes is that it leads to oversimplification. There isn’t a single definitive answer to the question of what it is to be trans, because there is no one way to be trans! There are so many trans people and they are so diverse that there isn’t a universal experience that is more trans or truly trans. Gender is a complicated social construct, and trying to define it, or people within it, is quite hard! So let this be a guide – or an offering of possibilities – to what it might or might not mean to you. But just remember that ultimately it’s you who defines who you are, whether that’s as a trans person or not. The short answer, though, is this: Trans people are people who don’t identify with the gender that they were assigned at birth.

Fox Fisher

The long answer is a bit more complicated. When we are born (and even before we are born) we are assigned a certain gender based on our sex. This means that when we’re born, medical professionals take a look at our genitals (gross, we know!), classify us as male or female and assign us the gender ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ according to what they see down below. In most cases, people are actually fine with this assignment (which means they’re cisgender. In the case of trans people, it isn’t quite as simple. It’s a bit like you signed up for a French class, but when you get there everyone is speaking Spanish. Something just isn’t the way it should be. So essentially, being trans means that you aren’t actually the boy or the girl everyone seems to think you are. It means that your inner sense of self – your gender identity – is something different. Whether it’s that you’re actually a girl, or a boy, or non binary (people who aren’t fully boys or girls), the main thing is that you’re just not what most people seem to think you are. And that’s pretty frustrating. In other words, it’s pretty annoying that just about everyone around you got it wrong and now you’ve got to correct all of them. But don’t worry, we’ll give you some advice on how to go about this in the next chapter.

Being trans is pretty straightforward, right? You’ve known you are trans for as long as you can remember, you’ve always dressed up as the ‘other gender’, played with girls’ toys or boys’ toys as a kid and almost exclusively had playmates of the ‘other gender’. Then you come out, take hormones, have surgery and, hey presto, you’re done!

Okay…no, that’s not exactly how it works. It’s a lot more complicated than that. It takes time and effort and can actually be pretty hard sometimes. It doesn’t really matter what toys you played with when you were younger or who your friends are, because being trans isn’t really about your behaviour as a kid or who you hang out with. It’s not about taking hormones or having certain surgeries, because different things work for different people and we’re all different. It’s about you, and you alone. It’s about what you want, regardless of anything else. There isn’t a ‘right way’ to be trans. There isn’t a universal recipe that we all just follow. Just because you did certain things or didn’t do them, or want or don’t want certain things, it doesn’t make you any less or more trans. That’s because trans people are all sorts of people, just like everyone else! What’s most important is to be yourself, whoever that might be and whatever that means. Trans people have such a wide range of identities and expressions that you shouldn’t be tied down to categories.

There isn’t really a universal answer that we can give you that will tell you the ultimate truth of whether you’re trans or not. It’s not as easy as taking a quiz online that will decide your entire future (you can probably google some quizzes, but we’re not guaranteeing their accuracy). You’re the only one who can really know and you’re the only one who has a say about it. No one can really tell you how you feel inside. It’s something you’ve got to figure out and come to terms with. Just know that you’re certainly not the only one and that there are so many of us out there willing to support you. If you’re questioning your gender or think you might be trans, we recommend you reach out to a support group in your area and try to talk to people close to you if you feel safe to do so. There are also many trans people online on different social media platforms (such as Instagram, Tumblr and YouTube) who are telling their stories. Try checking some of them out and see if their experience resonates with you.

Our entire being is often limited by ideas of sex and gender. Trying to break away from the sex and gender that was assigned to us at birth can often be very difficult. If we’re already losing you here, don’t worry. We will start with a few basics in Chapter 2.