Читать книгу DBT For Dummies - Gillian Galen - Страница 53

Accepting multiple points of view isn’t always easy, and when you get stuck, unable to expand your awareness, it can damage your relationships, interfere with work or school, and lead to you doing things that compromise your integrity or undermine your values.

While you learn to be more skillful and able to keep multiple perspectives in mind, it’s critical to remember that we all make mistakes and get stuck thinking and acting from an emotion mind. To build this skill, you must find compassion for yourself and know that we all get caught in an emotion mind. For many people who are emotionally sensitive, these types of challenges can feed self-hatred and self-judgment, and when you practice that way of being, you feed the very feelings that make it hard to be skillful. If you’re going to embark on this practice, it’s inevitable that you’ll get stuck and return to an old way of doing things. Being kind and forgiving to yourself will help you step back onto the skillful path.

For some, finding self-compassion is no easy task. We talk more about this in Chapter 10. A short practice that many people find useful is to think about a friend who you care for and ask yourself how you would treat them if they were in a similar situation. This can be a helpful exercise because most people are able to find compassion for friends and loved ones, but can’t find that same compassion for themselves. Treating yourself as you would your close friend can help you be gentle with yourself and find you own inner friend.