Читать книгу Raising Girls: Why girls are different – and how to help them grow up happy and confident - Gisela Preuschoff - Страница 13

The examples of femininity that are being shown to girls today range from world-famous models to anonymous humanitarian workers. What matters to you personally? If you are aware of which forms of femininity you respect, which sorts you actually live by, and what tolerance you have for other forms of femininity, you’ll be able to more easily answer all the questions that arise as you bring up your daughter. For example, if you can, sit down with your daughter’s father (or mother, if you are the father) and make a list – each of you should make your own list – of the qualities and skills you value positively in a woman. (If this scenario won’t work for you, try to do it with a friend whose judgment and opinions you trust.) List all your images, expectations and value judgements! Do girls have to be good at mathematics? Assertive? Cuddly? What does a ‘good girl’ do? What does a ‘bad girl’ do? Are you supposed to make such a distinction at all? Is intelligence a positive female quality? How do you value being down-to-earth and the capacity for love? And how do intuition, empathy or sporting skills rate? How important to you are manual dexterity and good appearance? When you’ve finished, compare your lists.

While you won’t be able to force your daughter to be the things that you have written down, the things you value – being technically talented, highly musical or talented at nursing, for example – it is important that you know how you think about girls and women. Your daughter will choose her own way, but your ideas and thoughts will also shape her in important ways.