Читать книгу It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy - Greg Behrendt - Страница 32

Dear Greg

My best friend Brian let me know one night after too many tequila shots that he was in love with me. Understand that this was my best friend—not just my best guy friend—for the last seven years. At first I was unsure about taking our relationship to another level, but then I decided that there was no one I’d rather be with and we jumped in with both feet. Things were great for the first few months, and I thought, “Wow! I’m going to end up marrying my best friend.” Well, a few months after that he decided we were better as friends after all and wanted to go back to how things were. I was devastated! I truly fell in love with him and now can’t just go back to being his friend. I would literally die if he started telling me about dating other girls the way he did before this all started. I told him I couldn’t be his friend, at least not for a while—but now I’m going through the most painful breakup of my life because I’ve lost my boyfriend and, more importantly, my closest confidant—the person I shared everything with! It’s so hard not to reach out to him! How do you get through something like this without your best friend?

Jackie

Dear BFF,

Meet your new best friend. It’s you. And your new best friend (who looks exactly like you) wants you to know that while people always want to be friends after they split up, it is virtually impossible. I could be wrong, but a best friend isn’t someone who makes you feel horrible and sad every time you see him. So don’t do it. It’s like making an alcoholic dry out in a bar. It’s hard, unfair, and will only make your pain last longer because you won’t have any distance from it. Remember, life is long, and if you were meant to be friends you will be eventually, but not today. This is crucial: The sooner you stop calling him or spending time with him and work on healing yourself, the sooner the time will come when you can really be his friend (though by then you may not even want to). This is what you have other friends and your family for. And while a broken heart is a broken heart, there’s something to be said for the empathy of friends of the same sex who’ve been there. This is because men and women experience things differently and offer support in different ways. And since your best guy friend has been cut from the team, it seems like an excellent time to let your girlfriends take the lead.