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(From Around the Tables)

October 1977

I have, of late, participated in a succession of discussions centering on the Eighth Step. I regard this Step as the easiest but perhaps the most subtle in the program. It requires only that I make a list of people I have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. Unlike Step Five, Eight does not require that I seek out a companion and unload it on him. It does not require searching my soul or being humble—only making a list and becoming willing. Step Nine requires some damn bold action, so it is very different from, though obviously dependent on, Step Eight.

The Eighth Step relates to people other than me. Unquestionably, it points outward and not inward. Many of us feel anger about this position and protest, “I didn’t hurt anyone else but me. I figure I have to make amends to me.” The phrasing may vary, but the idea is always the same: “make amends to me.” Frankly, I think this is so much garbage. It’s one of the “old ideas” the Big Book advises us to discard—namely, selfishness. If the founders had meant Eight and Nine to be directed at themselves, they would have so stated in plain English.

But here’s an AA paradox: I have found, to my great joy, that if I work on Eight and Nine and keep the emphasis on my relationships with others, these Steps actually do bring about the ultimate amends to me—a happy, sober day-to-day life that brims over with gladness, happiness, good fortune and all that I could wish for. It’s far better to work on the Steps the way the Big Book and the “Twelve and Twelve” suggest than to risk losing this great life.

Anonymous