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CHAPTER ONE Step Eight: We Don’t Rush Into Amends
ОглавлениеThe effects of Step Nine on our lives and others’ will last a long time—even a lifetime—so paving our way via Step Eight is vital
“Driven by a hundred forms of fear,” says the Big Book, “self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.” With Steps Eight and Nine, we heal those relationships, as well as our primary relationship with ourselves. It’s only after working Step Nine that the inspiring AA Promises can be expected.
No matter how eager we are to clear our side of the street with everyone, we are advised to prepare well first. And we do that through working the other seven Steps. In the story “The Mending Process,” later on in the book, Corinne H. describes the chaos she created as she rushed headlong into Step Nine, “without benefit of sponsor or sanity.”
In this chapter’s story “From Our Fellows and From God,” member W.H. writes about the many fears that can cause us to hesitate before Steps Eight and Nine. “What will she think?” or “What will he say?” Followed by our famous, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” But to the writer, “Fear of losing my sobriety overrode my fear of losing someone’s goodwill.” W.H. also wisely points out that Step Eight “provides a time of calm reflection before we get down to the actual amends-making task.”
The anonymous writer in the story “The Eighth Step,” describes “this great life”: “I have found, to my great joy, that if I work on Eight and Nine and keep the emphasis on my relationships with others, these Steps actually do bring about the ultimate amends to me—a happy, sober day-to-day life that brims over with gladness, happiness, good fortune, and all that I could wish for.”