Читать книгу Chocolate Busters: The Easy Way to Kick It! - Jason Vale, Jason Vale - Страница 30

Even though the mass-market sweetened, chemically-driven chocolates, taste much, much better than high percentage cocoa solids, I would still argue that the whole ‘delicious … unique … orgasmic’ taste thing is one massive exaggerated story. Think about it – we all have stories where we have exaggerated them slightly to give it a little more spark. Now sometimes we say the same story so often that in the end even we end up believing it. Is it possible that exactly the same thing could have happened with the ‘taste’ and ‘feelings’ of chocolate? Is it possible that all this ‘Oh, the way it melts in your mouth’ or ‘It’s simply orgasmic, better than sex’ is in reality a load of old tosh?

Like so many things in life, the idea of having it is much better than the reality and what we must realize is that the idea of the fabulous taste of chocolate is constantly being perpetuated by the media, advertising, the GODS and, funny enough, by ourselves! Haven’t you been out for meal and tried to sell the idea of a chocolate dessert to others so you were not alone in your drug-food moment. And didn’t you exaggerate it, oh so slightly? You know, ‘Go on, how about some delicious, ice-cool chocolate ice-cream?’ or ‘They do a devilishly gorgeous full chocolate gateau – go on, you only live once.’ In truth, once the GODS have got us, they might as well save their money on advertising – we end up doing it for them for free! But why? What is sooooooo special about the taste? Show me one person who actually puts a piece of chocolate into their mouth slowly, lets it melt slowly, and slowly savours the flavours, and I’ll drink some of that sanguinaccio! The truth is we’re on to the next chocolate or bite of bar before the first has had a chance to hit the sides. All this stuff we expound – ’It’s simply heaven’, ‘It’s better than sex’ – in truth (excuse my French), it’s all bollocks, isn’t it? It’s stuff we’ve said and heard said over the years and it’s a neat way, if we’re honest (?), of helping to justify our intake.

Let’s look at the Flake ad again. There she is, a beautiful, slim woman, not a care in the world, in a bathroom that’s bigger than my flat. She is orally, seductively having a Flake in the bath.

Impression – it’s better than sex! Have you ever actually tried eating a Flake in the bath? You get bits stuck on the roof of your mouth, bits in the bath and you never really know what to do with those bits left in the wrapper. You make a sort of funnel with the wrapper, place one end in your mouth and turn yourself into a human chute, praying you don’t get it everywhere. You then say, ‘Oh, I wish I hadn’t had that’ – funny how you don’t see this on the Flake ad, isn’t it? Britney Spears was once quoted as saying, ‘Chocolate for me is just like an orgasm’ (she needs to get out more!). Having a bar of chocolate is not better than sex, no matter how often people say it. However, if you actually do believe that, then instead of eating more, trying to attain that pleasure, may I make a suggestion – CHANGE YOUR PARTNER! (or buy some chocolate love toys.)