Читать книгу Chocolate Busters: The Easy Way to Kick It! - Jason Vale, Jason Vale - Страница 31

The taste thing has, like with wine, got completely out of hand. Now there are even professional chocolate tasters and official chocolate connoisseurs – once again the word ‘bollocks’ springs to mind. At Mars’ chocolate-making plant in the US, a panel of professional chocolate tasters meet every day to taste the goods. You may think that this sounds like the best job in the world, but like wine tasters, they’re not allowed to swallow, and the chocolate they taste hasn’t even been sweetened. So if you think about the roasted cocoa beans from Cadbury and my friends wanting to be sick, all of a sudden the job doesn’t sound so dreamy.

But it is the pretentious so-called connoisseurs of chocolate who really expose this taste sensation nonsense for what it is. Just like their ‘look at me, I’ve got an education’ wine tasting cousins, these choco-connoisseurs come out with the biggest load of bullshit in order to make themselves sound important. If you think wine tasters sound pathetic as they drink some gone-off fruit and fermented vegetation while proclaiming to the world that it has a good nose, full body and is ‘somewhat mysterious’ before spitting it into a bucket, that is nothing compared to the chocolate gang. There they are at the annual chocolate tasting convention (yes, there is such a thing) putting pieces of chocolate on their tongues, letting it melt slightly, then spitting it out – while proclaiming, no doubt, that it has a ‘distinctive West African gusto’, a ‘1945 Swiss feel about it’ and, once again, it probably is ‘somewhat mysterious’. The mystery is how these people get the vote! Do you think they’ve been saying this sort of stuff for so long that they now believe what they’re saying?