Читать книгу The Savvy Ally - Jeannie Gainsburg - Страница 33

Identity pride is the stage I like to call the loud and proud stage. People on the outside looking in often describe people in this stage as obnoxious, aggressive, angry, or over the top. It’s important for allies to understand where these loud and proud behaviors and attitudes are coming from and to appreciate the experience that the person has survived.

Identity pride is the stage where the person is finally out to the world and it feels so good! In many cases it means that the person has come out to some folks during the identity acceptance stage and the world has not ended. In fact, they may have been surprised by the support they received. In the identity acceptance stage they may have met other supportive LGBTQ+ people. Now, in the identity pride stage, they are sloughing off that oppressive cloak of self-hatred, self-doubt, and fear, and stepping out into the world as their authentic, out and proud selves. The aggression and anger that sometimes comes with this stage stems from having had to lie for so long about who they are, an impulse to protect their new authentic selves, and a vow not to go back into the closet and hide who they are ever again.

A participant in one of my workshops had a lightbulb go off when I described the identity pride stage. She said, “Oh wow! This makes so much sense! I had a customer come into my shop recently and she said, ‘I’m a lesbian. Okay? Do you have a problem with that? ’Cause if you have a problem with that I’ll go somewhere else.’ And I thought to myself, ‘What the heck? Did I do something to make her feel unsafe or unwelcome?’ This makes total sense now!”

For a person in the identity pride stage, their identity as LGBTQ+ is likely to be at the forefront of all of their other identities. They may have fewer straight/cisgender friends during this time. They may be intolerant of LGBTQ+ people who are not living out and authentically. If they are a student, every writing assignment is likely to be about their LGBTQ+ identity. If they are in the work-place, they may suddenly add a pride flag to their cubicle. Typically, you know when someone is in the stage of identity pride: You can see the rainbows flowing from the back of their heads.