Читать книгу The Savvy Ally - Jeannie Gainsburg - Страница 42

Coming out as LGBTQ+ is often scary, and it’s a big deal. What does that mean, then, if someone comes out to you? Typically it means that this person trusts you immensely. It’s a huge compliment. Therefore, a great thing to say, if you are so inclined, is, “Thank you.” You might say, “Thank you for trusting me enough to let me know,” or, “Thank you for caring about our relationship and for being so honest with me.”

After thanking them, I would recommend mostly listening. Let them take the lead on what they want to talk about. They may, in fact, not want to talk about anything. It may just be a huge relief to tell someone and know that they are supported.

If there is an awkward silence you could throw in one or two of these comments as well:

“Congratulations! I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m here for you.”

“I just want you to know that nothing will change between us.”

“This calls for a celebration! Can I take you out for a beer?”

It’s also important to keep confidentiality in mind. Coming out is the LGBTQ+ person’s job, not yours. You should never out the person to others. If it doesn’t come up naturally in the coming-out conversation, you may want to say something like, “I want to be very careful that I keep this information confidential. Are you comfortable telling me who else knows?” If the individual has come out as transgender and is asking you to use a new name and pronoun, it is also critical to discuss when and where the new name and pronoun should be used. Sometimes people will ask close friends to support them and affirm their identity by using their new name and pronoun in private, but they will use their old name and pronoun in public with others because they are not ready to come out or they don’t feel safe doing so. Getting clarity on how the person would like you to navigate those situations is important and shows how committed you are to supporting them and keeping them safe.