Читать книгу The Savvy Ally - Jeannie Gainsburg - Страница 37

Coming out for LGBTQ+ people is not a single event. Folks do not leap from the closet on their official coming-out day with Diana Ross’s “I’m Coming Out” blasting in the background—“Ta-da! I’m out!”—never to return to the closet ever again. (I find this unfortunate, because that would be pretty fabulous.) Coming out is a lifelong process.

My friend Jonathan, a gay man, was buying flowers for his husband at the grocery store a few years ago. Very kindly, just making conversation, the cashier said, “Oh, those are beautiful. Are they for your wife?” Jonathan had just popped into the market to purchase flowers, and now he was faced with a decision about whether to come out to the cashier or not.

The decision to come out or not, at any given moment, depends on many factors, not the least of which is safety. Lesbian comedian Sabrina Matthews recalls one of these moments: “I remember flying through Dallas/Fort Worth Airport on National Coming Out Day with my National Coming Out Day tee shirt on because I’m proud … and my sweatshirt over that, because I’m smart.”⁵

The idea that people can create safe and welcoming spaces with their language is an incredibly important one. As allies, we should strive to model inclusive language at all times and educate others on its importance. In chapter 5, we will look at language choices that won’t force people into the come-out-or-lie position.