Читать книгу and I Believe - Jodie Richard-Bohman - Страница 15

“Mom, Mom.”

Disoriented and confused, I slowly opened my eyes, trying to remember where I was.

“Mom, are you going to get up? It’s almost seven o’clock.”

Sitting straight up on the couch, I couldn’t believe I overslept.

“I’m so sorry Jenna. Do you mind getting Mia ready while I get in the shower?”

“I already did. She’s playing in her room.”

“You’re a saint.” I kissed her forehead and hurried into the bathroom.

In the twenty minutes I had, I managed to shower, get ready and chow down on a piece of toast before whisking Jenna off to school and Mia to daycare.

My stomach was a ball of nerves as I drove to work, and I thought I was going to throw up when I pulled into the parking lot. All I could think about was getting to my classroom as soon as possible. I did not want to face any of my co-workers right now in case they knew.

Whew! Luckily I didn’t have to talk to anybody, I thought when I got to my classroom.

Soon the first warning bell rang and it wasn’t long before students were piling into my room. Being around all of them made me feel better, and for a short period of time, I forgot about everything that happened over the weekend.

The rest of the day flew by, and before I knew it, it was time to go home. Sitting in front of my computer, I finally got up the nerve to check my email. As I suspected, there were messages from some of my friends asking about Aaron.

I have no idea what you’ve heard about Aaron and me, but if it has to do with him and his old girlfriend Angie, then you heard right. I’m not sure what I’m going to do . . . too numb to think about anything right now. Temporarily, the girls and I are staying in the room above Mom and Dad’s garage. Thanks for being great friends, and I’ll talk to you all very soon. Love, Kate.

The next day Aaron finally called and left me a message.

Kate—I’m sorry for avoiding you these last couple of days. It’s just that I’m so ashamed over what I did and the thought of facing the girls made me want to die. I will never forgive myself for hurting you, but I’m madder at myself for making you clean up the mess I created. It’s time I own up and tell the girls face to face why we aren’t together anymore. Please give me a call.

My heart plummeted to the ground. While I was glad he finally decided to be “noble” and do the right thing, I was crushed that he showed no sign of wanting to work things out with me. For a second, I thought about not returning his call, but knew I couldn’t do that. I had to remember I wasn’t the only one hurting. The girls too had been through a lot, and they really needed to see their dad.

“Hi Kate,” Aaron said when I called him.

“Hi Aaron.”

“I’m so sorry-.” he started to say, but I cut him off.

“Aaron, I don’t mean this in a mean way, but I don’t want to talk about us. The girls miss you and need to see you soon. Are you doing anything tonight?”

“Ah, ah, no, I’m free,” he stuttered around.

“We’re staying in the room above Mom and Dad’s garage, if you want to pick them up there.”

“Okay. Have they asked any questions?”

“Mia thinks we are having a sleepover at Mom and Dad’s and Jenna only knows that we are having problems. I prefer you not tell them the truth. They’re too young to know and probably wouldn’t understand anyway.”

“Okay . . . ah, Ka -”

I cut him off.

“Aaron, I’m too hurt to talk right now. I’ll see you when you pick the girls up.”

With that, I hung up the phone.

Knock, knock.

Fear, nervousness, anxiety - all went through me at once when I heard the knock at the door.

“Daddy,” the girls squealed when we answered the door and they saw Aaron. Tears filled his eyes as he got down on his knees and gave them a big hug.

Observing them, I couldn’t help but notice his appearance. His cute baby face was covered with a dark shadow of a beard, his eyes were sunken in and his body looked sick and frail.

“What time do you want me to bring them back?” he asked.

Looking the other way, I tried to act like I hadn’t been staring at him.

“Maybe around eight.” I answered, avoiding making direct eye contact with him.

“Okay.”

“You two be good. I’ll see you in a little bit,” I told the girls.

“You come with us Mommy,” Mia said as she tugged at my arm.

“No. Mommy’s going to stay here, but you, Daddy and Jenna are going to have so much fun, okay?”

“Mia do you want to play with my Barbies?” Jenna said to her in this cute big sister voice, which quickly distracted Mia from wondering why I wasn’t going with them.

I told the girls goodbye and they started making their way down the stairs. Aaron didn’t move but continued to stare at me nervously.

“We’ll see you in a little bit, okay?” he said.

I shook my head “yes” and shut the door.

Tick, tick, tick.

Lying on the couch with my feet propped up, I listened to what seemed like every click of the clock until eight o’clock finally rolled around. When I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, I got anxious and excited and couldn’t answer the door quickly enough.

Picking up Mia, I gave her a bunch of kisses on the cheek.

“I’m so glad you’re back! Did you miss me?”

“Yes,” she said as she wrapped her little arms around my neck in a tight embrace.

“Ahhhhh,” I said, a big smile coming to my face.

“Kate.”

Aaron said my name so softly that I didn’t know if he actually spoke it.

“Why don’t you two tell your dad goodnight.” I said, ignoring him either way.

“Night Daddy. We love you.”

“Night. Love you too and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Kate,” he said once more.

“Yes,” I said, looking him in the eyes for the first time since everything happened.

“Can we talk?”

I sighed. “I’m sorry but I’m not ready now. I need time.”

“I understand. Uh, can I at least have the girls for a weekend?” he asked.

“The entire weekend?”

Not having them for three hours tonight was torture. How would a whole weekend be?!

“Yes, please.”

“That’s fine, but can we do it next weekend?” I choked out.

He shook his head “yes”.

“Kate, I’m really sorry.”

“I can’t do this right now.”

I walked back into the apartment and closed the door before he saw me crying.

Later, as I lay there on the couch trying to go to sleep, I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. While it’s nice to know he is sorry for what he has done, why hasn’t he said he wants to works things out? And why isn’t he begging me for my forgiveness?