Читать книгу and I Believe - Jodie Richard-Bohman - Страница 16

“I heard he’s been sleeping around on her for months!”

It was the end of the day on Friday, and school was finally done for the week. Stopping by the teachers’ lounge before leaving to go home, I found myself in the middle of a conversation between three teachers about me.

“Ah, ah,” Cindi, a nosey first grade teacher, stuttered.

There was an awkward and uneasy silence. I didn’t know what to say, but felt like I needed to do something, so I was the first to speak up. “If you heard that Aaron and I have separated, then you heard right,” was the only explanation I gave or was going to give.

“Kate, I’m so sorry,” said one of the teachers.

“Me too,” said the other teacher.

Cindi, whose face was still beet red for being caught talking about me, finally looked up from the floor. “I’m so sorry I was talking about you behind your back. Will you ever forgive me?”

Even though I was furious at her, I couldn’t ignore the genuine look of remorse in her eyes.

“I do forgive you, but please don’t do it again. Hearing people talk about me really hurts, and I don’t need any more pain in my life right now.” That was probably a little too harsh for me to say, but I didn’t care because it was the truth.

“I agree, and again, I’m really, really sorry,” Cindi repeated.

“I know you are and thanks.” With that, I turned and left.

A huge sigh of relief came out of me when I got home. I was relieved to have this week behind me, and all I wanted to do for the rest of the weekend was hide away up here from everybody. Saturday and Sunday disappeared and before I knew it, Monday morning was here. Hiding in the apartment all weekend long was wonderful, and I was able to fool myself into feeling like my life was still normal. But as I drove to work that morning, the denial and numbness wore off and reality and depression overcame me.

For the next week, I tried to keep up this strong persona on the outside, never showing any sadness, but on the inside, I was a mess. I had no appetite and had lost about ten pounds on my already thin frame. My nights were sleepless, while my days were filled with nothing but worry. I seriously felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

The dreadful weekend came and loneliness came over me after Aaron picked up the girls on Friday. Looking around the abandoned apartment, I knew I didn’t want to be here another second by myself.

I could go downstairs and hang out with Mom and Dad, but I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Or I could see what my sisters are up to, but they’re probably doing something with their families.

I sat on the couch thinking of more options. I finally decided to call Tina, a close friend of mine from high school. I hadn’t talked to her in person since everything happened, but we talked regularly via email and she knew what was going on with Aaron.

“So, how was it when the girls left?” she asked.

“Awful.”

“What are you doing now?”

“Sitting here moping.”

She laughed. “Steve and I are going out to eat. Why don’t you come with us.”

“Thanks, but I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

“You won’t be a third wheel. Please come.”

“Thanks, but I’ll pass.”

“We’re going to stop by Creekside afterwards. Why don’t you meet up with us there. Shelly might come too.”

Shelly, Tina and I played softball together in high school, and we have been friends ever since.

“That does sound like fun. Maybe I’ll do that,” I said.

“Great! I will text you when we finish eating.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.”

While I was nervous about whom I might run into at Creekside, I was very excited to hang out with my friends. Too antsy to sit around here and wait a couple of hours on Tina, I decided to see if Shelly would want to go there now. I called her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail, so I left a message instead.

"Hey Shell, this is Kate. Just seeing if you’d want to go to Creekside for a few drinks. Give me a call."

Tapping my fingers on the kitchen table, I contemplated my next move. I could continue to sit here all alone or I could be a big girl and go there by myself. It’s not that I wanted to get drunk and act crazy. I just wanted to get out of this house and feel normal again. Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and go. Afraid I would change my mind, I freshened up real quick and left.

When I got to Creekside, I drove around the parking lot to see if I recognized any of the cars. Unfortunately, I didn’t, which gave me second thoughts about going inside.

Here I am, almost thirty-five years old, and still being a chicken about going into a bar by myself.

“You’re pathetic!” I said out loud.

My car was idling in park while I decided what to do next. Creekside had a drive-thru window for people to pick up carry-out food and drinks. From the window, you had a perfect view of the inside of the bar.

Maybe I could drive through and order some beer and then see if Tony or anybody else I know is in there.

Tony was a friend of mine from high school and he owned the bar. I hadn’t talked to him in a long time, but whenever we did see each other we always picked up where we left off. Hopefully he was there now.

For some odd reason, I was nervous as I pulled up to the window. I took a quick peak but didn’t instantly recognize anyone. A young girl, who I didn’t know, came to the window to wait on me. “Hi there,” she said in a cheerful voice.

“Hi,” I said with a smile. “Can I have a six pack of Bud Light bottles, please?”

“You sure can,” she replied, walking away to get the beer.

The music was loud and the bar was full of people. I looked for Tony, but didn’t see him. By this point, the girl returned with my beer.

“That will be six dollars and fifty cents.”

“Here you go,” I said, handing her seven dollars. “Is Tony here tonight?”

“You just missed him. He left ten minutes ago.”

“Oh, really? That’s too bad. Can you tell him Kate Turner said ‘hi’?”

“I sure will.”

“Great, thanks, and keep the change.”

“Thanks! Have a good night.”

“You too,” I said before driving off.

Insecurity and a feeling of not fitting in any more came over me, so I drove straight home.

"Something came up and not going to Creekside now. I’ll call you later. Kate."

After sending a text message to Tina and Shelly, I shut off my phone, grabbed a beer and put in a movie. I tried to concentrate on it, but my thoughts kept going back to the fact that I was all alone. I felt so depressed and caught myself chugging the beer just to make this sad realization go away. Before I knew it, I had drunk the entire six pack. My head was spinning as I finally passed out on the couch.

In the morning I awoke with a major headache.

“Ohhhh,” I said as I stumbled to the kitchen and took some aspirin. “Mental note,” I said out loud, “I need to find a different way of dealing with my pain.”

I choked down a few crackers and a couple sips of Gatorade before lying back on the couch for the rest of the day. I never turned my cell phone back on. My head was throbbing and my stomach was queasy. The only thing I wanted to do the rest of the day was sleep, which is exactly what I did for the rest of the weekend.