Читать книгу and I Believe - Jodie Richard-Bohman - Страница 17

“Kate, please call me back. We really need to talk,” Aaron’s first voicemail said. “Kate, this is Aaron again. Please call me back,” was his second voicemail and the third one went like this: “Kate— for Pete’s sake. This is ridiculous! You can’t keep avoiding me. I know you’re hurting, and I’m sorry for that, but at some point we really need to talk!”

By now it had been a month since everything happened. The only communication between Aaron and me was when he would come to pick up the girls. He made many attempts to talk about us, which was something I completely avoided. I know this was childish, but I was still not over the shock. And until then, I didn’t feel there was anything to talk about.

Work and hanging out with my family became my only “extra-curricular” activities, and while I talked regularly to my friends, I rejected their constant invites to go out. Since that night I attempted to go to Creekside, I couldn’t shake the feeling of not fitting in any more, and I decided I was destined to be an old maid for the rest of my life.

While most of my friends understood my reasoning for isolation, Liz did not, and one night while we were talking on the phone, she let me know it.

“Kate, it’s been a month. It’s time you come out of hiding and start living your life again.”

“I know, it’s just-” I began to say, but she stopped me.

“Kate, I don’t want to hear any more of your excuses. I’m constantly inviting you and the girls over for supper, but you turn me down. I ask you to go shopping and you turn me down on that too. All you do is hide in your little apartment like a big old hermit.”

Liz was the only person that could talk to me like that and get away with it. She has been in my life since I can remember and she knows me better than anyone. While I didn’t like what she had to say, I still listened and respected her brutal honesty.

“You’re right,” I sighed.

“Now you and the girls are coming over tomorrow night for supper and that is final.”

“Okay, we’ll be there,” I finally agreed.

“How’re things going?”

Later that night I was on the telephone with Megan, a friend of mine through Aaron. Her husband, Stephen, was one of Aaron’s best friends since grade school and they still hung out with each other on a regular basis.

“I’m the same,” I sighed. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” she answered.

“How’s Aaron doing? Is he happy that he’s rid of me?”

“Um, have you seen him? He looks awful, and he’s beside himself for what is happening.”

“If he’s beside himself for what’s happening, why doesn’t he want to fix our marriage?”

“Now Kate, I’m only saying this because you’re a really good friend of mine, but if Aaron thought you truly loved him like you used to, none of this would have happened. He says you fell out of love with him a long time ago and you’ll never love him that way again.”

“That’s such a cop out!”

“Kate, let’s be honest here. Even I’ve noticed that your feelings for Aaron have changed. You treat him more like a best friend, not a husband.”

Her words hurt and I became silent.

“Kate, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. What he did was awful and it will take me a long time to forgive him, but I’m just trying to be honest with you.”

“Maybe you’re right,” I finally admitted to her, and even to myself for that matter. “My feelings for him have changed, but I thought that was normal with people who have been together as long as we have.”

“It’s not and a good example of that would be your own parents.”

I never thought of it like that before, and there was a lot of truth to what she just said. My parents have been together for almost forty years, and Dad’s eyes still light up when Mom enters the room.

“You’re right. So . . .” I started to ask. There was one question that had been weighing on my mind this entire time. “Is he still seeing her?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

I let out a sigh of relief.

“He told me he’s avoiding all contact with her because he needs time to clear his head. Plus, from what I’ve heard, she’s in hiding. I think some people in town made some pretty mean comments to her for what she did to you and nobody has seen much of her since.”

Now that, I will admit, gave me some gratification.

“I haven’t seen her in probably a year or two. Is she still skinny and pretty?”

I was surprised that question even left my mouth. I have never been a jealous or insecure person, but how could I not be curious about the girl my husband “has feelings for”? Even though we lived in the same town, I rarely saw her. I knew she had twin boys that were older than Jenna and that she worked at a bank, but that was about it. The few times I had seen her around, we would smile at each other, but never exchange words. I didn’t think much about this because even in high school she was quiet but always pleasant and was never a threat to Aaron and my relationship. She was also a very pretty girl with dark olive skin and dark brown eyes and hair, which is what probably intimidated me the most.

“Kate, don’t do this to yourself. You need to remember she was only a rebound for a weak link in your marriage.”

“I know . . . it’s just hard not to be jealous of her.”

“Trust me. I have no doubt that she is more jealous of you than you will ever be of her.”

The way she said that made me feel like she was seeing something I wasn’t, but I didn’t argue with her. No matter what Megan or anybody else said, I could see it only one way - that Aaron wanted to be with Angie, not me.

“Actually,” Megan then began, her tone of voice enticing me. “She has put on a little bit of weight—maybe ten to fifteen pounds.”

“Awesome!” I blurted out without thinking.

“Kate!” Megan said, laughing.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

“I know where it came from. It came from that hoochie mama wanting your man,” she joked and I couldn’t help but to laugh.

I was in a really good mood the next day at work and was looking forward to spending the evening with Liz and her family. I was about ready to lock my classroom when my cell phone beeped, letting me know I had a text message. Not thinking much about it, I hit the view button and began to read a message from Megan.

Wanted to tell you in person, but couldn’t because the kids are with me. Just drove by Aaron’s house and saw Angie’s car there. Sorry for telling you this, but thought you had a right to know. I’ll call you later.

How is this possible? Learning this felt worse now than it did the day I found out about the two of them.

“I’m not going to make it tonight,” I told Liz as soon as I read Megan’s message, trying not to cry.

“Why?” she asked, irritation in her tone.

“Megan just texted me, and Angie’s car was at my . . . I mean Aaron’s house this morning,” I choked out.

“Oh Kate, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know why this is bugging me so much. They almost slept together for Pete’s sake, and they’ve been talking to each other on the phone for months, so why am I crying over the fact that she was over there?”

“Probably because it’s the first time they have been together since you two have not.”

“When is this pain going to go away?” I cried.

“I wish I had an answer for you.”

“Me too . . . Me too,” I repeated.

After hanging up with her, I closed my eyes, begging and pleading to go far away to a place where there was no hurt like this.