Читать книгу The Mills & Boon Sparkling Christmas Collection - Kate Hardy - Страница 38

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE SMELL OF freshly extinguished candles filled the room but all Xavier could think of was taking Tilly in his arms, kissing her all over, exploring every bit of her delicious body. He wanted her naked beneath him as he made her his.

She seemed nervous and he resolved to be gentle, to coax out the desire he knew burned within her and show her she was a beautiful and passionate woman, sure that Jason’s rejection would have filled her with self-doubt, an emotion he knew well.

He knelt down next to her, a twinge of pain in his leg reminding him, if he needed it, why he preferred she didn’t see him undressed under bright lights. He had no wish to frighten her further. He didn’t want her running from him, not tonight, not when he intended to take what they’d started last night to its conclusion. ‘What is wrong, mia cara?’

‘Nothing,’ she whispered huskily, as she knelt up and moved towards him. ‘Not now.’

He took her in his arms, bringing her closer to him and in one swift movement pulled her to sit astride his legs, her arms around his neck, her breasts level with his face. He watched the soft swell of them moving up and down with each breath, resisting the urge to discard her bra and taste first one nipple then the other.

‘There is no need to be afraid of anything, cara...’ Instantly she tensed in his arms, her legs no longer relaxed and heavy against him. She was still resisting him, still reasoning over her actions when she should just give in to him and enjoy the night for what it was.

‘Being here like this, with just the fire, it’s not something I’ve done before.’ She lowered her lashes, their long length sweeping down to spread over her cheeks. She was still hiding from him.

Gently he lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. ‘Would you like me to light the candles again?’ He didn’t want to do that. It would expose his scars, his hang-ups and fears. He was damn sure she wouldn’t stay around once she saw the full horror of how badly scarred his legs were. She would be gone. For the first time in three years he was prepared to take the risk and make love to a woman, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to see his scars.

‘No. There’s no need.’ She shook her head slowly and began to relax. He felt her limbs soften and a burst of hot lust shot through him as she leant towards him. His fingers still held her chin and he guided her closer until their lips were almost touching—almost kissing.

‘You look like a goddess in this light.’ His husky whisper shuddered from him as he fought to hold his control, wanting to savour this moment. She was so different from all the women who virtually threw themselves at his feet with alarming regularity.

Tilly needed to be handled with care. She needed him to be gentle and considerate and the idea sent desire hurtling through him. She deserved more than a frantic tumble to satisfy a lust-filled moment but he was past rational thought now.

He felt her breath on his face, her body against his, and knew she wanted to be loved. She deserved to be, but he couldn’t love her, not in that way. He shouldn’t even be kissing her. But he wanted her, needed her, as if only she could breathe life back into his battered body and tortured soul.

‘Right now, I feel like a goddess.’ The gentle purr of her voice pushed his control to the breaking point and he claimed her lips in a hard and demanding kiss. His fingers slid into her hair, gripping it as he focused on keeping her where he wanted her, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

She lifted her head, a ragged gasp rushing from her, and he moved his attentions to the hardened peaks of her nipples, clearly visible through her bra.

‘Dio mio, you are beautiful.’ The throaty rasp of his voice almost broke as she took a deep breath in, her breasts moving closer to him, teasing him so much he began to question just who was in control. Her or him?

Heady lust hurtled through him as he pressed his lips against the creamy swell of one breast, feeling each deep breath she took and the thumping of her heart. His hand cupped the other, his thumb rubbing over her nipple as it strained against the lacy fabric covering it.

‘Xavier.’ The husky whisper of his name snapped that last thread of control and he let go of her hair, reached to the fastening of her bra and snapped it open, freeing each delectable breast for his attention.

Her fingers clutched at his hair as he kissed one nipple, teasing it until she was shuddering with desire, each breath she took as deep and ragged as his. His tongue swirled around it, tasting her.

‘Too much,’ she gasped between increasingly shallow breaths.

‘Too much?’ He pulled back from her and looked up at her flushed face. ‘Should I stop, cara?’

‘Yes. No. I don’t know.’ She sighed and looked down at him and he realised he’d nearly pushed her over the edge. It was as if she was discovering the joy of such pleasures for the first time, and had never sampled the delights of passion. ‘No, don’t. This is on my list.’

He puzzled over the words whispered in a throaty way that left him in no doubt she was losing the battle of resistance. ‘This in on your list?’

‘Yes, but don’t stop.’

Her fingers curled tighter in his hair, pushing him to a new limit, and with gentleness he moved her from him, trying not to acknowledge the pain of having knelt on the floor, and pushed her down against the throw that was spread out over the rug.

She lay back, her gaze holding his all the time, a hint of a question lingering beneath the sparks of passion.

‘We will take it slowly,’ he said as he lowered his head and kissed the flatness of her stomach, his hands holding her waist. He straddled her as he moved upwards, tasting her with each kiss.

She clutched at his shoulders, her fingernails digging into his flesh. He moved higher still and once more kissed her breasts, nipping at the hardened peaks, relishing the gasps of pleasure that escaped those full lips.

He kissed a trail up her throat until he could once more claim her lips in a hard and demanding kiss. She pulled him down on top of her and wrapped her jeans-clad legs around his. The hardness of his erection strained against the confines of his jeans but he enjoyed the wild and erotic sensation of being partially clothed, of being able to feel her beneath him.

It was explosive. New and exciting.

Her hands slid down his back, her fingertips finding the beginnings of the scarring on his right side. He tensed as she paused briefly in her trail of exploration across his back. She hadn’t uttered a word, hadn’t asked the dreaded question. How did this happen? He pressed kisses over her face, the side of her neck and against her ears, thankful she hadn’t broken the spell or killed the passion between them.

He wanted her naked, completely naked. He pushed back from her, kneeling up to unfasten her jeans. Her hair splayed out around her as she watched him, tempting and seducing him with her innocent eyes while lifting her hips to help. He moved back on his knees, pulling the denim and her slipper-like shoes away until she wore only a skimpy pair of black panties.

He groaned at the need to set himself free of his ever-tightening jeans. Her eyes, darker with each passing second, watched him intently, as if aware of his torture. They goaded him, urged him to remove every last barrier between them. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He didn’t want the battered part of his body to ruin the moment.

Instead, he turned his attention to giving her the pleasure she craved. He touched the black lace panties with the tip of one finger, moving down over her, the damp fabric arousing his ardour higher and higher.

She moved against him, testing his control beyond any limits he’d known before. He slipped his finger inside the damp black lace, teasing her heated flesh until she writhed against him. Within seconds she gasped as spasms of pleasure rocked her body. He ceased his teasing and ripped off his jeans and underwear as she lay, eyes closed in pleasure.

* * *

Tilly couldn’t stop shaking. She’d lost all control of her body—and it was so good. In a faraway place she knew what it was, knew that for the first time she’d exploded with pleasure, from just a touch. A very expert and practised touch.

As the waves of passion ebbed over her she closed her eyes, unsure what to do next. She felt Xavier move away, heard the sound of denim dropping to the floor and with stars of ecstasy still in her head she couldn’t do or say anything but tremble with lingering desire.

Seconds later Xavier was beside her, pulling the other throw over them. He was naked. Completely naked. The heated hardness of his erection pressed against her hip and she couldn’t help the smile of contentment that tugged at her lips.

He wanted her. Desired her.

She turned towards him as he pulled her against him, the blackness of his eyes so intense, so full of unquenched desire she knew she was lost. He pressed himself against her, forcing a ragged breath through her lips, which he caught with a kiss so powerful she almost cried out.

Driven by something new and wild, she pushed against him, rolling him onto his back, until she was over him, able the feel him close to her, almost touching yet not quite.

‘Stuzzicare!’ His eyes locked with hers and his jaw clenched as if he was desperately trying to stay in control.

‘What does that mean?’ The seductive whisper surprised even her and she pressed her fingertips against his stomach, tracing the arrow of dark hair downwards, wanting to use her new-found power over him and make him dissolve as rapidly as she had done from his touch.

‘Tease!’ He ground the word out as he fought against her need to rob him of all his self-control, until she touched his heated hardness, her fingers closing around him, each movement making her feel more powerful, more in control.

His hand caught her arm and she looked deep into his eyes, seeing the battle between ecstasy and control being waged there. ‘We have all night, cara.’

She smiled and quirked a brow at him, shocked to discover the mischievous imp that lurked within her. She tried to pull her wrist free, but he held her tightly and before she could say anything had pushed her back onto the throw. Quickly and expertly he rolled on a condom then covered her body with his. She smiled impishly at him, and teased him by moving her hips, pressing herself against him. He shut his eyes and raised his head. She reached up and kissed his chest, feeling the guttural groan as well as hearing it.

‘You teased me first.’ She lifted her legs, wrapping them around him, the throw slipping away so she could feel the heat of the fire. The tip of his erection touched her and his body seemed gripped by rigidity, every muscle fighting against her new-found seductress.

Emboldened, she rotated her hips, sliding her hands over his back, feeling the tension there, wishing he would let go and give in to the moment, as she was. She wanted him inside her, deep inside her.

A harsh torrent of Italian, so fast she couldn’t possibly understand it, rushed from him as she lifted her hips higher and took him inside her. She closed her eyes against the building fire that threatened to explode when he thrust into her. She cried out with shocked pleasure as he filled her, moving with her until their bodies became damp and their cries mingled in the darkness.

Slowly her breathing returned to normal and he kissed her face softly, pulling her into the warmth of his body. The heat of the fire warmed her back as she lay facing him, looking into dark eyes that still smouldered with passion. She shivered as a tremor of shock slipped over her. She’d given herself to him, not just her virginity but her heart. She’d thought one night would be uncomplicated, but he’d taken a little piece of her heart.

Beyond the walls of the manor the wind wailed. ‘I’ve never done that before,’ she whispered, and moved instinctively closer to him, suddenly aware of what she’d told him. ‘Been so spontaneous, I mean.’

He looked at her, desire still filling his eyes, but a hint of suspicion lingered there too. ‘I know.’

She tried for bravado, desperate to hide how vulnerable she felt right now. ‘No, but I guess I can tick that off my list now.’

‘You should have told me you were a virgin.’ He brushed his fingers along her shoulder, the expression on his face full of disbelief. ‘I assumed that as you’d been engaged you would have made love before.’

Embarrassment raced over her as his fingers trailed lightly and slowly down her spine, his words unlocking the past with alarming speed. ‘I guess I always pushed Jason away, determined not to be left broken-hearted, like my mother.’

He didn’t say anything, didn’t ask her to enlarge on it, but being so far removed from reality she couldn’t stop the words flowing out. ‘After my father died my mother met a new man. He made her happy but I just saw it a way of mending her heart and replacing my father.’

‘Sorry.’ He whispered that one word against her hair as he pulled her close, as if he was trying to chase away her demons.

Now with adult eyes she knew her mother had lost the man she’d loved with a passion. Tilly realised she too had shunned love and passion, scared of the hurt her mother had endured. She’d used the solace of the companionship and friendship she and Jason had enjoyed growing up as a protection against such emotions. She’d been too scared to love him and had denied him what he’d wanted, forcing him into the arms of another woman.

‘As a child, I could never understand why she wanted to be with someone else.’ It was strange how things suddenly looked so different. With just the orange glow from the fire and Xavier’s arms around her she felt safe to talk, safe to explore her past. She carried on. The floodgates had been opened. ‘It’s been over ten years since my father died and I think part of my mother died that day too. I didn’t want to be like that.’

‘Do you still see your father’s family?’ He began to stroke her hair and at first it was soothing, but very quickly the sizzle inside her grew and she moved to look into his face.

‘I haven’t seen them or been back to Tuscany since my father died.’ Not wanting to talk about things that hurt, she focused instead on rekindling the burning need that had claimed her, forcing her to accept she did have passion flowing in her veins. She pressed her lips against his and he responded, pulling her against his hardening body and the conclusion of the kiss was sealed.

* * *

Xavier woke in the early hours, not because of his usual nightmares but because of the warmth of Tilly’s body against his. The room was darker and much colder. Carefully he moved away from Tilly and went to the fire, stoking it before putting on more logs. He watched the flames as they flickered into life, wrapping around the wood. That was what had happened to him. The flames of passion had engulfed him, not letting him go, making him want the impossible.

She’d cast a spell on him, holding him captive, but he wished she’d trusted him enough to have told him she’d been a virgin.

She murmured and he turned to look at her, but thankfully she didn’t wake. As the glow from the fire began to reach the darker corners of the room, it caressed her partially uncovered body. Her golden hair was spread out around her and her face was serene and peaceful.

In an effort to ensure the fire would last as long as possible he put more logs on and made his way back to their makeshift bed.

‘Xavier?’ Her throaty whisper, totally unexpected, almost froze him to the spot.

‘Scusi,’ he apologised as he got back beneath the covers. ‘I didn’t mean to wake you.’

She gave him a sleepy smile and looked into his face as he lay next to her, his head propped on one elbow. ‘How did you hurt yourself so badly?’

Her words slammed into him, instantly killing the lust that had begun to course through him once more. He didn’t want to tell anyone about it, least of all Tilly and certainly not here, not in this haven from reality, where emotions he’d thought dead were being revived.

‘There is nothing to tell.’ He caressed her cheek with the backs of his fingers, keeping his words soft, aiming for distraction, trying to pull them back into the clutches of desire.

It almost worked. Her eyelashes fluttered closed and he relaxed just a little, then she opened those big blue eyes and looked into his, sympathy—or was that pity?—in hers. ‘I’ve seen, Xavier, just now...’

Her words faltered to nothing as he glared at her. ‘Just now what?’

‘I saw the scars. It must have been a really bad accident.’

‘Sì, it was.’ He bit back the anger and guilt cocktail that rushed into his bloodstream at the memories. He could hear again the crunching of metal and the sickening thud that haunted his dreams. He could feel his body being thrown around, smashing into barriers with ferocious force. Pain had robbed him of consciousness, but when he’d come round in hospital it had been to the most dreaded news. He’d made it. Paulo hadn’t. And it had been his fault.

The usual pain spiked his legs and he bit down hard against it. He was naked and exposed before her, every emotion as vulnerable and bare as his body. This was exactly the situation he’d avoided since that day in hospital when Carlota had been so revolted by his injuries. Guilt racked him because he’d sent her away. Frequent dates had earned him a playboy reputation, but Tilly was the first woman he’d spent the night with since the accident.

He still didn’t know if it was his battered body or the guilt hanging over him like a storm cloud that made him cold and uncaring. He didn’t deserve anything remotely warm like affection and sympathy. And Tilly deserved better.

‘What are you doing?’ He growled the question out, moving quickly as Tilly pulled the throw away from his legs. There was no point in hiding any more. She’d already seen the marks left on him from that day, so why not let her know it all?

‘Showing you it doesn’t upset me.’ The firmness in her voice only irritated him further. ‘There was no need for darkness, no need to put out the candles.’

He stayed still, ice curling through him as she looked at the livid scars on his legs, the constant reminder that he didn’t deserve happiness after he’d taken it from Paulo’s family with his selfish desire to win.

The silence stretched between them. She was shocked. He could see it in her eyes. Damn it, she couldn’t even find the words to voice her disgust, but after what she’d just given him he owed this much to her.

Slowly she knelt up and trailed her fingertips down his thigh, over the ugly and gnarled skin. He held his breath as she moved below his knee where the pins held him together.

Anger surged through him. He was no longer in control. He was now the vulnerable one. ‘Those scars are nothing compared to the fact that I lived and another man died—and it was my fault.’

Her hand froze and slowly she looked at him, shock in her eyes, in the lift of her delicate brows and those soft sensual lips. The disbelieving whisper of her words told him all he needed to know. ‘Your fault?’

‘I wanted to win—at any cost,’ he said, and scowled at the memories, wanting to shock her, punish her for seeing him like this. ‘It’s my fault. Paulo died because of me, because of my selfish need to be number one. I killed my friend.’

‘No.’ She pulled her hand away from him and sat back against the sofa, clutching one of the throws against her nakedness.

‘It’s not just my injuries that mean I can no longer race. It’s the guilt that another man will never be on the track again.’

She didn’t say anything else, just looked at him, and he knew what they’d shared so briefly was over. Reality had already crept in.

‘As you started the race, did you plan to crash?’ Her tone was serious and strong.

He flung up his hands in exasperation. ‘Dio mio, of course I didn’t.’

‘Then it was an accident. Tragic, yes, but an accident.’ She moved towards him with purpose, pity in her eyes. She reached up and touched his face, the caress too gentle, too caring.

‘No.’ He grabbed her wrist firmly, shock making her gasp.

He couldn’t shake off the past that easily. What if she hated him after this? What if she stayed here with him simply because she didn’t want to be alone in the dark and unfamiliar house?

‘It’s not your fault,’ she whispered. ‘Tonight it’s as if we’ve stepped into another world, away from everyone and everything. Let’s stay there, make the most of it and forget everything. Everything, Xavier.’

She lowered herself over him, kissing him, kissing his scars and smothering the guilt their conversation had evoked. At first he couldn’t move, but fear of her rejection was gradually being replaced by hot desire. As she moved up his body to his chest, he caught her face between his hands and kissed her as if his life depended on it.

As the kiss continued, he closed his eyes against the demons from the accident, desperate to recapture the magic he and Tilly had shared just a few hours ago. Slowly her fingers trailed down his chest, tantalising and teasing, and reality slipped away.