Читать книгу The Colors Of A Optimistic World - Logan J. Davisson - Страница 24

Changing everyday structures can cause major changes on a mental and emotional level. In this chapter you will get to know some possibilities for changing everyday structures. This includes the linguistic structure, the structuring of your goals and tasks, as well as your usual approaches to these tasks. Of course there are many more possibilities to make your everyday life more relaxed and effective and you will find the right changes for you on your own as your inner balance progresses.

We are human beings, we develop and grow constantly, our needs are subject to change, but once we have completed our schooling, many of us lose the flexibility and adaptation of everyday life to our own needs. Growing demands from work, family and leisure are becoming an ever tighter net, which permits only little adjustment - unless we act very actively and consciously in exactly this direction. People act habitually in order to make everyday life easier for themselves.

However, it is fundamentally important and healthy to question these structures from time to time and, if necessary, to rearrange them. Especially in times in which we do not feel optimally balanced, the change of everyday structures can become an effective means. First read through the proposed optimization measures and then decide which of these changes will inspire you the most right away. Of course, you do not have to stop according to one method, but can gradually enrich your everyday structures with the various methods.

The word "must" and its relatives

The word "must" puts most people under pressure. And that's not surprising either, after all, it's clearly a challenge with an almost compelling character. The word "should" also has this message. We are often asked by the outside world to say the word "must": "The documents must be ready by the evening". Or "We have to go to the wedding from XY to Munich." And often, without hesitation, we adopt exactly this message in this compulsive form, although there is only in very few cases a vital reason for it.

Much worse, however, is when we adopt this attitude and put ourselves and other people under equal pressure with our "must" demands: "I have to have this task done by tomorrow." The word "must" does not necessarily have a positive connotation and so we should simply delete it from our vocabulary. Also terms like "problem", "difficulty" or "impossible" (and many more) point us to one thing in particular: To our supposed limits. All these negatively connotated terms do not really contribute to our relaxation and accordingly we should exchange them. Part one of this method is to pay close attention in the next week to the contexts in which you use terms with negative connotations.

Ideally you should write these words down, because the second part of this method is about finding positive alternatives for these words and using them consciously in everyday life. For example, "problems" then become "challenges", the lawn "doesn't have to" be mown (which it really doesn't have to...), but "could" or "may" be mown. And so the "food problem" becomes a "change in diet" and many more opportunities open up. Our language is an expression of our thoughts and we have the possibility to perceive our thoughts more attentively by a more conscious handling of our language, to change them in this way. These changed trains of thought will have a positive effect on your mood, motivation and balance!

"No!" say

Saying "No!" is incredibly difficult for many people, but why is that so? You can probably imagine the answer: Our fears. Let's first look at why saying "no" is fundamentally important. Every time we take on a task that doesn't match our needs, we should have said "no". The fact that we nevertheless take on these tasks means that we take on ourselves. Instead of weighing up which tasks we can take on in the context of our own health in good conscience and without stress, we focus on the needs and ideas of other people. For fear of losing prestige, endangering relationships or missing professional opportunities, we limit ourselves, ignore our needs, and put ourselves in the background in our own lives.

Observe the next few weeks very closely as you make your decisions. Many decisions have become routine and can therefore no longer be recognized as decisions. For example, it has become normal that you pay for lunch with your colleague or drive to the end of town for errands for relatives. We make thousands of decisions every day and many of them have become routine, so that we can master our everyday life at all. It would be terrible if we actually had to consider whether this is the right way to go at the slightest effort. This exercise is mainly about the bigger decisions.

At best, you write down your decisions the moment you make them. At first you will only notice a few decisions, but this will become more with increased attention. Then, in a quiet minute, consider why you made the decision and whether you are actually happy with your decision making. What alternative choices would there have been and what would have contributed to your balance? The more aware you become of your choices and needs, the more often you can make healthy decisions.

Abolish multitasking

Yes, multitasking seems like the perfect way to combine as many tasks as possible. But let's be honest: How effective are you when you do four tasks at the same time? In the meantime, studies have shown that multitasking does not increase but reduces our efficiency and productivity. And the explanation is simple: to realize our full potential, we need great mental capacity and this is blocked by the division of our concentration into several tasks. I mean that I've never seen a top athlete at training who also tried a Bulletproof Coffee and planned his weekend trip. Highest efficiency and productivity require highest concentration and we achieve this through singletasking!

Where in your everyday life do you rely on multitasking? Perhaps you are not so well aware of the situations because they have become your everyday behavioural repertoire. So take a little time, a pen and paper and think in a quiet place in which everyday situations you do multitasking. We always experience relaxation when we can consciously and attentively perceive people, places, activities and circumstances. Multitasking prevents this, however. Start by setting up your everyday life in such a way that you can singletask. This may feel unfamiliar at first, but it decelerates everyday life wonderfully and gives you the opportunity to really enjoy the individual activities!

Integrating breaks into everyday life

What do you think about people who regularly meet during working hours for a chat or a coffee break? Maybe these people are the epitome of unproductivity for you. But the reality is a little different: Those who take regular breaks are more productive in the long term. The breaks allow us to maintain the natural rhythm of relaxation and activity/tension. Even the most hardworking bodybuilder in the world needs training breaks and that's how you should handle it. A proven technique is the division of working time into units:

- 55 minutes of work

- 5 minutes break

- 55 minutes of work

- 5 minutes break

- 55 minutes of work

- 30 minutes break

- 55 minutes of work

- 5 minutes break

- ...

You can see that you should take a break of at least five minutes once an hour to increase your effectiveness and conserve your resources at the same time. Once you get used to this new rhythm, you will be able to perform better and work more creatively, effectively and productively! In the small breaks you can enjoy a short stay in the fresh air, stretch yourself, take a deep breath, eat fruit or vegetables and drink a glass of tea or water. During the longer breaks you can enjoy a full meal in peace and quiet!

Re-establish priorities

Sometimes it is time to set your priorities anew, especially when your inner balance has been lost over the years. The priorities that you set back then no longer have to correspond to your current attitude to life, so do not be afraid to rearrange this area vigorously. To do this, first write down which areas of your life you particularly fill with happiness. Is it your partnership, your family, your children, your pets, your social commitment, your job, your regular travelling, sports activities, cooking with friends or something completely different? Create your personal Top 10 to be happy. Of course, it is part of life to also provide financial security, even if the current job may not contribute to everyday happiness. Then the list of priorities is not "my profession", but "financial security". Then take a look at your everyday structure:

- How many hours do you spend sleeping?

- How much time do you spend at work?

- How much free time do you have?

Write down the exact hourly distribution of an entire week. You may find that you work a lot of overtime each week (which you don't necessarily have to make happy) and spend very little time with your loved ones. Sometimes the restructuring of the everyday life helps to bring more relaxation and equilibrium into the everyday life with regard to the newly arranged priority list. For example, if you are very lucky enough to jog through the forest with your dog, then this should not only be on your schedule once a week. So, realign your life, plan your time according to your priorities and eliminate as many stress factors as possible for a stronger inner balance!

Goals and Tasks

Some people find it extremely helpful to structure their own goals and tasks better and thus integrate more relaxation and balance into their everyday lives. Various methods can be used to classify tasks. One effective method, for example, is the Eisenhower method, in which the different tasks are divided into three categories and processed accordingly:

- Urgent and important

- Urgent, but not important

- Important, but not urgent

- Neither urgent nor important

If you now sit down once a week - at best Thursday evening to start the weekend in a relaxed way - and plan your next week according to this principle, you are freed from planning the completion of your tasks on a daily basis. Finally, the order is clear. A good goal is always to complete two to three tasks a day. There is a chance that many of the "neither urgent nor important" tasks will disappear completely from the list over time, or that you will forego performing them in the first place. This scheme can be applied both in professional and private life for the organisation of projects and challenges.

In order to find out the importance of the different tasks, it is of course fundamentally important to find your own big goal. No matter whether this is the start into self-employment, the restructuring of everyday life or the improvement of nutrition. It is not easy for many people to clearly define their own goals. So sit down in a quiet moment and consider your personal goals for the next 12 months. It is helpful not to add 5 overwhelming tasks to the list, but to combine a healthy mixture of big and small goals, because you don't want to overtax yourself. Great goals could be to finally start jogging, to inform oneself about the keeping of cats or to plan a longer stay abroad. Determine when you want which goal to be achieved and divide large goals into smaller subgoals so as not to lose track and always approach the realization motivated.

Breaking down stuck patterns of thinking

Maybe taking over a new project causes pure stress for you and your colleague? He's so happy he almost jumps up in the air. So it is rarely the situations themselves that are negative per se and thus trigger stress in us, but rather our thoughts and our evaluation of this situation. In most cases, however, these are not conscious decisions, but patterns of thought that have been practiced for years and now need to be broken up.

In order to track down your thought patterns, you have to keep a corresponding diary for a few days or weeks. Whenever you feel stressed, open a new entry in this diary. At best you start with this entry as soon as the first stress wave is over and you have a clear head again. Then consider exactly in which situation you felt stressed and which mental evaluation of the situation you were present in exactly that moment.

- Your boss is handing you a new project.

- They feel stressed and under pressure.

- Your thoughts about taking over the new project were: I will never be able to do that, when should I please do that, I am not competent enough for this project.

In the second step, you now consider a neutral and positive evaluation, which can replace your frequently used negative evaluations.

- Neutral: Yes, I'll write that down in my diary right away.

- Positive: I can now improve my time management / hand in another unloved project / pray the nice new colleague for support, a good opportunity to discuss general time management with the boss, I have the opportunity to learn new skills.

And whenever you catch yourself now with one of your old, negative evaluations, put your neutral or positive evaluation in thought to this place. The more consistently you pursue this method, the more likely this way of thinking will become your new automatism. Outsmart yourself by acting as if you already believe the new way of thinking!

Revolutionizing sleep

Sleep is one of the most important restorative means available to us. Many permanently tense people find it difficult to find a relaxed and restful sleep. Don't miss the opportunity to renew your sleeping habits and optimize your recovery during sleep. How would you like to be internally balanced during the day when you lack the energy for the simplest activities? There are eight factors that are important for healthy and restful sleep:

- Regular exercise, at best 30 minutes of physical activity daily at a fixed time.

- Provide fresh air and a room temperature of 16-20°C. Under these conditions, your sleep will not be prematurely interrupted by cold, heat or stale air.

- Avoid blue light from televisions, smartphones, etc. two hours before bedtime to stimulate the formation of melatonin (the sleep hormone). Also dimmed light, quiet music and yoga help here!

- Sleep at least 6-9 hours a day, often avoiding sleeping less in a row.

- The dinner should be rich in protein, because proteins keep you full for a long time. So you are not disturbed by a feeling of hunger when you fall asleep or sleep through the night.

- If you have problems falling asleep, do not take medication but try yoga, meditation, reading or radio plays. - A regular sleep rhythm helps the body to prepare for bed. - Avoid alcohol, nicotine and sugar before going to bed. These substances prevent a restful deep sleep. Are there areas where you can improve your sleeping habits?

Closing Remarks

I very much hope that you have found a lot of new, interesting and helpful information in this book that will enrich your life and help you to get out of the stress cycle! You now know that the occurrence of stress is caused by an overload that we bring into our lives due to excessive expectations of ourselves. The reason for these exaggerated expectations is mostly deep-seated fears that without these burdens we will not be a fully-fledged member of society, that we will not receive sufficient social recognition or that we will not be able to live up to the expectations that are supposedly directed at us from outside. All this is an expression of a low self-esteem, because in this situation the expectations of other people are given more importance than one's own needs. Through the relaxation techniques, reflection methods and possibilities for changing everyday structures presented in this book, you can sustainably change your thinking, structures and actions and thus leave the stress cycle.

The result is: Inner balance. Through stronger inner balance, nothing can throw you off track so quickly, you can resolve conflicts constructively and shape your everyday life through healthy boundaries for yourself. You know who you are, what your goals are and can clearly distinguish your needs from those of other people. The inner balance gives us daily the possibility to perceive even the smallest miracles of life and to feel gratitude. And if a challenge (formerly called a problem) crosses your path, you know that this is a wonderful opportunity to improve your skills and abilities and learn new things.

I wish you much success and joy in learning and implementing the methods to strengthen your inner balance!