Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 303

Met Dave the L in the park. I went for casual glamour: leopard-skin top (fake, because otherwise Angus would have followed me thinking he’d made a new big mate) and jeans and leather jacket. It was a bit awkward at first. You know, like a first date. He is quite a good-looking bloke if you like red herrings. He said, “Hi, gorgeous,” which I think is nice. I admire honesty.

He told me he wanted to be a stand-up comedian when he leaves school and I said, “You should have my life, that would give you lots of material.”

He laughed. It was funny but I didn’t feel nervous, not like with SG. I didn’t say I wanted to be a vet or anything. I very nearly made sense.

As we walked along chatting our arms sort of brushed against each other a couple of times. I didn’t mind and he’s got a nice crinkly smile. But then he grabbed hold of my hand. Uh-oh. Hanky panky. Also he is slightly smaller than me and I had to do the bendy knee business so I could be more his height. I don’t know what it is about boys these days but they seem on the small side. Or perhaps I am growing. Oh no. That might be it. I might only be half the size I am going to be. I might turn out to be a female Sven and that might be God’s punishment for me turning Buddhist. Anyway, I lolloped along as best I could, trying not to be like an orang-utan. But, oh sacré bleu and merde, then Dave pulled me round to face him and took hold of my other hand. I had to lift up my shoulders so that I didn’t have excess arm. I felt like that woman in The Sound of Music, you know, Julie Thing. Surely he wasn’t going to start dancing round with me? Nooooo, he wasn’t. He was going to kiss me!! Oh no, this wasn’t in the Herring plan…Where were all my so-called mates???

As he looked at me and started to bring his face closer I said really quickly, “Have you noticed how when you go from side to side there is this sort of wheezing noise?”

But I only got to “Ha…” when he put his mouth on mine. I could have bitten through my tongue. I kept my eyes open because I thought that wouldn’t be like a real kiss. But it made me go cross-eyed so I closed them. It was, in fact, quite a nice kiss. (But what do I know? I’ve only ever been with SG, a whelk boy and BG (Mark) who had such a huge gob that no experience with him can be counted normal. You’ve just got to be glad to escape without being eaten.)