Читать книгу Social Life; or, The Manners and Customs of Polite Society - Maud C. Cooke - Страница 14

Table of Contents

The following rules, published some time ago as a receipt for that beauty of expression so much more lasting and attractive than mere beauty of feature, were written originally for the guidance of woman, but they are equally applicable to the needs of man.

"1. Learn to govern yourself and to be gentle and patient.

"2. Guard your temper, especially in seasons of ill-health, irritation, and trouble, and soften it by a sense of your own shortcomings and errors.

"3. Never speak or act in anger.

"4. Remember that, valuable as is the gift of speech, silence is often more valuable.

"5. Do not expect too much from others, but forbear and forgive, as you desire forbearance and forgiveness yourself.

"6. Never retort a sharp or angry word. It is the second word that makes the quarrel.

"7. Beware of the first disagreement.

"8. Learn to speak in a gentle tone of voice.

"9. Learn to say kind and pleasant things when opportunity offers.

"10. Study the characters of those with whom you come in contact, and sympathize with them in all their troubles, however small.

"11. Do not neglect little things if they can affect the comfort of others in the smallest degree.

"12. Avoid moods, and pets, and fits of sulkiness.

"13. Learn to deny yourself and prefer others.

"14. Beware of meddlers and tale-bearers.

"15. Never charge a bad motive, if a good one is conceivable."

Courtesy, charity and love are one, and, when all good deeds are done the warning comes: "If ye have not charity" all is naught. Therefore:

"A sweet, attractive kind of grace, A full assurance given by looks, Continual comfort in a face, The lineaments of gospel-books."

Do ye all things courteously, founding precept and practice upon that old rule, the Golden Rule, which is the Alpha and the Omega of all good manners and the very Essence of all Etiquette.

INDISCRIMINATE introductions are always in bad taste, yet, since the sweetest of our friendships are wont to reach us through the medium of a formal presentation, it is well that we understand how, when and where these introductions should properly take place.

As a rule, introductions, to be agreeable, should be desired before being given; and since we are, or should be, in a measure, the endorsers of those whom we present to our friends, a due degree of care should be exercised in so doing, lest inadvertently we force upon another what may prove an undesirable acquaintance.

Introductions are given in cases of necessity, such as business transactions, or emergencies that may arise in traveling, as when we wish to consign some friend to the care of another. They are given at balls, that partners may be found for all the dancers. Here, however, care must be taken beforehand to ascertain if the parties will dance, for such is the selfishness and, shall it be said, ill-breeding of our society young men that not unfrequently they will walk away without even offering the lady the courtesy of the next dance. In this way her hostess unwittingly exposes her to a marked slight, since the ball-room introduction is supposed to mean an intention on the part of the gentleman to show some attention to the lady, with whom he should either dance, promenade, or talk through one set.

Neither are young ladies quite guiltless in this respect, since it often happens that they refuse partners from simple caprice, and no gentleman likes to be refused, even for a quadrille. It may be added that these introductions necessitate no after acknowledgments on either side unless mutually agreeable.

Introductions are given at card parties when necessary to fill out tables for a game and they occur also where one person especially wishes another to become acquainted with a friend.